sporty steinbergmanthol: the cutest shit ever!

:'-} look at the baby, awwwww! gents and lasses, this is what sports is about. sharing moments with loved ones. there's nothing quite like a day at the ballpark with dear old dad. and in this age where their are people who would scare you out of health care and those who would rather talk about jackass rappers, it is refreshing to see a human interest story that is completely organic. and just look at that sweetie baby bookie bookie boop!!! i happen to have a year old niece who would have done the exact same thing and been just as precious doing it. this moment just gets me right there. you know where, in the heart string area. and men, take a look at the dad. look at his face when he does things with his daughter. see how fulfilled and content he is? this is what you miss out on when you skirt your responsibilities to your offspring. look at this face! that coulda been you deadbeat dads!

ps: the phillies gave the whole family personalized jerseys, and gave the dad an autographed replacement ball, so he made out pretty good for the price of a night of baseball with his family.

and all this on the heels of this kid doing his thing. this is a great year for dads and there kids going to baseball games.

weaveless tyra: a DARKdays message to the ladies

recently on her now syndicated talk show (*martin voice* you go girl) former supermodel and all around beauty tyra banks gave her audience a revelation: her real hair! much to my surprise (and for that matter my delight) she wasn't bald! not that there's anything wrong with short haired girls, hell there are some sexy short haired girls, like halle berry back in the day. but tyra has long pretty black hair. faithful followers, i must ask: why do our women feel it's necessary to hide their real hair? i don't know of any man who has looked at a girl and said anything to the effect of "look at that girl, she bad as shit! damn i sure do wish she had a butt load of horse hair in her head! or even better hair that somebody else grew! that shit would be sexy!" i know that there's the idea that guys like long hair, but ladies, i'm going to let you in a secret. are you listening? good cause i'm only saying this once... GUYS LIKE GIRLS! we don't care that your hair is this way or that, we like you for your vagina and lady parts! and sometimes your personality, too. sure we appreciate the things that ladies have that are beautiful, like for instance if a girl has long, luxurious locks we do like that, but only if it is HER long, luxurious locks growing from HER scalp. we appreciate a girl with gorgeous green, blue, grey, or hazel eyes if the iris that we see is attatched to the rest of the organ. take it from me, it is a major turn off to find out that one of the things that has attracted us to a young lady was merely the clever rouse dreamt up by some mickey mouse corporation to fool us into mating. hell, if you're like me a guy like me then you don't even like girls to chemically alter their hair. not that there's anything wrong with that.

ladies, i understand that women can be especially harsh to one another, and at times you feel like you have to live up to their standards, but you shouldn't let others dictate your beauty to you. that's why i applaud tyra for doing this. in the world she lives in appearance is everything and extentions are almost a requiremnt for even the longest haired out there. she has always been one to tear down standards of beauty, whether it's challenging the notion of the 00 fashion model or becoming the first black to grace the cover of the SI swimsuit issue, or even just making a girl feel better about herself through her show, she has always been an advocate for young women everywhere. and this isn't anything new for her. she's already done a show sans makeup and a show with no bra during her career. so ladies, please stop wearing weave. that's really not a good look.

OBAMA INDOCTRINATES SCHOOL CHILDREN!

ATTENTION ALL! EARLIER TODAY, GRAND WIZARD HIGH CHIEF LORD VICEROY FUHRER OBAMA THE HORRIBLE, DESCENDANT OF HAGAR, HYPNOTIZED OUR CHILDREN INTO LIBERAL ZOMBIE DRONES AND HAS UNLEASHED THEM ON OUR UNSUSPECTING COUNTRY TO SPREAD THE EVILS OF HEALTH CARE FOR ALL CITIZENS, HOPE, INTELLIGENCE AND, MOST EVIL OF ALL, CHANGE!!!!! HIS DIABOLICAL SCHEME CAME TO FRUITION THIS MORNING WHEN HE COMMANDED HIS NEWLY SPAWNED OBAMOIDS TO PERFORM SUCH BRASHLY UNAMERICAN TASKS AS PAYING ATTENTION IN SCHOOL, APPLYING THEIR LESSONS TO REAL WORLD SITUATIONS IN THEIR FUTURE "CAREERS", AND SETTING EDUCATIONAL GOALS FOR THEMSELVES THEN WORKING TOWARD THEM! SUCH HEINOUS DISREGARD FOR OUR CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT TO STUPIDITY IS NOTHING SHORT OF THE WORK OF A FASCIST TYRANT WHO MUST BE STOPPED! HE IN HIS INFINITE EVIL GENIUS SAW FIT TO BRAINWASH OUR CHILDREN INTO THINKING THAT IT WAS OK TO FAIL BECAUSE NOT EVERYTHING WE TRY WILL SUCCEED AT FIRST. AS IF THAT WASN'T COMMUNIST ENOUGH, HE THEN SAW FIT TO ENCOURAGE THEM TO TRY TRY AGAIN IF AT FIRST THEY DON'T SUCCEED. HOW LOW CAN A MAN GET? HE ANGLED TO FOOL THEM INTO SUCH NAZI BEHAVIORS AS STANDING UP FOR THE LESS FORTUNATE, WORKING TO END POVERTY AND FIND NEW RENEWABLE ENERGY SOURCES THAT WE CAN MAKE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY, AND GETTING INVOLVED IN "EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES" SEE? HE WANTS OUR CHILDREN TO BE ACTIVE. WHAT A SOCIALIST NAZI COMMUNIST HE IS. HE EVEN HAD THE NERVE TO COERCE STUDENTS INTO TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR OWN ACTIONS.

PATRIOTS, GRAND PUBA OVERLORD DON BARACK "GENGHIS" OBAMA THE DASTARDLY, THE MAN WHO WOULD FORCE OUR CHILDREN TO WASH THEIR HANDS AND STAY HOME TO PREVENT H1N1 FROM SPREADING, IS A FASCIST GUERILLA HUN BEAST WHO WANTS OUR KIDS SMART AND EUROPEAN. THAT'S RIGHT, HE WANTS TO TURN OUR KIDS INTO THE FRENCH! HE'S MUSSOLINI! NO HE'S WORSE THAN MUSSOLINI, HE'S NAPOLEON! HE'S HITLER INCARNATE! HE'S THE ANCESTOR OF ATTILA! HE'S THE SPAWN OF THE GREAT GOJIRA! HE'S, HE'S.... MANBEARPIG! WE MUST WORK TO RECONVERT OUR CHILDREN INTO THE IGNORANT, GOD-FEARING, XENOPHOBIC PALINITES THEY WERE BEFORE THIS CEREBRAL ASSAULT FROM TYRANT MONSTER DEMON SEED BIG-BAD-WOLFISH MUTANT TERRORIST COUNT OBAMA THE UNSEEMLY. YOU KNOW, LIKE THE FOUNDING FATHERS WANTED!!! WE MUST SAVE THEM BECAUSE GOD FORBID





a black man who happens to be a democrat might have the message our nations youth need to hear right now. stop this madness.

0-4? (a blog by HIM [as dictated by sporty steinbergmanthol])

boy oh boy. i know they say that the preseason football games are mainly glorified practices, but 0-4? really? oh fer, that's really all you can give me? well, panthers, i for one ain't impressed. you've had 4 "practices" to adjust to new systems, new coaches, and new philosophies. you've had 4 "practices" to "gauge your talent" and figure out who can do what. you've had 4 "practices" to show any sign of life from that remarkable 12-4 record of the season past. it appears that you, panthers, have instead proven that the bumbling, outclassed shell of a team that reared it's head 8 months ago in that playoff game against the 9-7 cardinals is who you guys really are. i ain't impressed! so this inexplicable thing you guys have of not putting back to back winning seasons together is happening again, huh? i know you can't put that much stake in the preseason, after all the lions went 4-0 last year in the preseason before having the reverse perfect season (when you think about it, going winless is pretty impressive in a way, i mean, that level of ineptitude is astounding). it could turn out that the panthers flip the script on the lions and have the second undefeated regular season in 3 years. or they could go 5-11. or 13-3. the point is the preseason dosen't mean shit. but if you ascribe to the "preseason is a gauge for regular season performance" then you have every right to be worried. as for me? let's just say they need to show me something....