**DISCLAIMER: the following is intended for drewninitos, or male drewninites. the drewniverse would like to ask all female drewninites, or drewninitas, to please skip to the end. there's cake and ice cream there. no foolin!**
fellas, i got to talk to y'all for a minute. hey, now, shit dude, i know. we don't really like to talk about real shit a whole helluva lot -- hell, i know i'd rather be writing a blog about beer and football and making sexy time and video games right now-- but i just need to know if i'm alone on this. do y'all have that one fucking guy that you know who you, through no fault of your own, are acquainted with (your friends are his friends and shit) who you just look at and think, "man, i never ever ever want to follow that guy into anything.... anything"? (see? i brought back into the comfort zone. this IS about the vajayjay) for those of you who haven't received your copy of the drewniversal guide to drewniversal vernacular, "follow" in the context of the above sentence means "to put ones P in a va-G for which you are aware of at least one prior user", or in laymen's terms, to have sex with a girl that a guy you know has already had sex with. and don't all of us have that one guy? real talk, bruh! we all got that one dude who no matter how cool he is, we just couldn't bring ourselves to follow into a girl we know he's already done the do with (DGDV: done the do - made sex with) and it's not one thing in particular about the dude that rubs us wrong. it's just from observation. for example, when i was in college i had a friend who i just knew i would never follow, and i mean i didn't care if the girl was freida pinto bad. i aint care if she had a body like blac chyna (natural, too) and a ass to match, if she effed with him she could not eff with drew. we've all been there. maybe you were afraid you might catch something messing with post-that-dude girls. maybe dude had really shitty taste/no standards and you just knew that if he messed with her she probably wasn't within specs. but whatever it was... you just weren't comfortable knowing that he'd already been there. there is a simple solution that will allow you to keep the friendship in tact, if you and dude are cool like that (i'd suggest staying cool with homie if for no other reason than to better keep track of his book [DGDV: book - short for black book]. that guy will always talk about girls he's known in that way). there are steps. did i mention that earlier? well, there are, and here they are:
- stay friends. you can't keep track of dude's book if y'all ain't at least cool. no worse feeling than finding out after the fact that your girl once had an encounter with home slice...
- pay attention to girls that fall for homie's game for future reference. even if he got game we've already established that we are uncomfortable with going where that guy's gone before
- because you've stayed friends, you now know dude's scene. prowl in a different scene (DGDV: prowl: to go out in search of potential sexy time companions).
- ALTERNATIVE: play wingman. man law prevents prowling dudes acting as a unit to do anything with the other's targets. well, not first at least.
now that we've established that we all know that one guy, and we've discussed how not to follow that guy we can rest easier. alright, drewninitas, you can come back.
oh yeah, the delicious confections! you have three choices, so enjoy!
this is the sessy, sensuous cake and ice cream
this is the party time ice cream and cake
this cake's ice cream is a lie
