students with disabilities

a message to the readers

guest: drew everyday

the following blog comes from my "associate" drew everyday. i believe you were introduced in an earlier post of mine. he has something to get off his chest, so i have relinquished my forum to him, for the moment...

did you guys see that new smith movie? you know how he had that empty ass forced smile for most of it? guess what?
so do i now.
ive been noticing it for sometime now. that im not really, iunno, happy is how i would call it i guess. like i smile and there's nothing behind it but... emptiness. its starting to effect the way i relate to my friends and everything. like, i'm almost bitchy. me. thats not me. not at all. im the guy that brings life to every room. i'm not the guy standing alone in the cold, reflecting on everything he hasn't done. everything he should've done. things he doesn't want to, but has to, face. i'm starting to feel inadequate. i dont like it. after everything i've done for my own self actualization, it's a real downer, this feeling. it makes me wonder what i've done all this for, all this reevaluation of self. it's not her. no, i had a feeling that i was kidding myself awhile ago, so i wasn't shocked, or even dejected, when my intuition was affirmed. it kinda sucks that she knows i'm in it for her and all i know is she doesn't "crush". it just leaves more questions. i'll be damned if i stick around waiting for the answers while she looks to the past for her own. then there's this pending graduation.... i won't really get into it, but i wish i had longer to be, just be me, and not adult me, ya know? neway. ok im done, peace.

introduction

my name is DARK. i am a student, and a damn good one at that. beyond that you need not know much about me. there really isnt much TO know about me. i guess you could say im a shadow of society created by the very system designed to eradicate guys like me. that's fine. i like the way i am. im... at peace. well, if i'm going to tell my story i might as well start at the beginning. i guess i was born sometime. i likely had a childhood, too. people tend to do that before they grow up. or mature. or whatever. the point is i'm a regular guy, just like you are, or at least i was at one point (people tell me i'm, strange, these days, but if you ask me these people dont have a fuckin clue what strange is. to me it's strange to accept your fate without fighting to make it what you want it to be, but "normal" people do that all the time). i dont feel much different than i did then, whenever that then is. i never was one for material things. but people used to accept me for who i am. now all they do is judge me. maybe it's the mask....

i should tell you that i wear a mask now. it could have been from my childhood, like superman's suit. i certainly feel powerful with it on. but it was the sun that powered the man of steel, not the suit... anyway, i might have gotten the mask from a second hand store. it's sorta like one of those lucha libre masks mexican wrestlers wear, or one of those japan wrestling masks. it's black and purple with silver piping and the eyes are whited out, giving it this comic book feel. it doesn't cover my whole face, just my eyes, ears, and nose. it ties in the back like a boot and the top of my head sticks out, like cyclops. thats my story. im a man with mask, i might have been, but i most certainly am now.

ah, but i know what you're wondering. why am i here? what do i want? well, truth be told, i cant tell you. not yet. what i can do is tell you where i stand. wat i think. how it is. of this much i am certain.

ps, i recently crossed paths with a fellow named Drew Everyday. i dont know how i feel about this guy. he's a little brash, but he seems like he's on the up and up. he won't leave me alone (i just want to be left alone) i dont know. that's fine with me though, the closer he is to me the better for me to keep an eye on him...