pregunta al azar del día

with Guru on the other side (RIP) and Black Thought on late night tv, how long will it be before hip hop really is dead?

RIP: Spider "Long Legs" Webster 20??-2010

oh, faithful readers, this is a sad day. we have lost one of the silent defenders of our hominid realm against the invading insectoid hoard. as i, DARK, was showering post-training a series of events occurred that circumstantially led to the untimely demise of the great arachnoid hero, Spider "Long Legs" Webster. as i retracted the shower curtain i noticed a small object fall to the shower floor. i realized it was too massive and, well, alive to be a rogue hair, so i searched the area and found our hero fighting valiantly against the barrage of pressurized and artificially heated water plummeting from a source unknown to him. perhaps some vengeful god had marked him for death. perhaps clouds can form indoors and rain on you. how should he know? he's a spider! well despite the tempest surrounding him, he managed to claw his way to apparent safety. i, seeing his will to live, decided to move from his path, because i was unaware what he would've needed to do to live, but i knew what he was gonna do: live. and god help whoever was trying to prevent him from doing it! alas, in my act of self preservation i bumped an old bottle of hippie conditioner. this sent the bottle plummeting. i imagine that at this time, everything was moving in slow motion for Spider: focused and valiant, our hero fights the torrent, his situation seems ever more futile with each passing moment, yet his arachnid resolve growing with each ill-fated swipe of the leg. only now, with survival tantalizingly close does he look up and notice the white and orange monolith to human vanity descending upon him. ever the spider's spider in life, i imagine that at this point he looked down, smiled and said something profound and affirming under his breath, and like bill murray at the end of 'lost in translation', i'm certain it was just right. (under the same circumstances, my offering would have been more like this). our hero Spider Webster, lost his life in a moment of such serendipitous awesome that i had no choice but to immortalize him on this blog. that picture at he beginning of this eulogy of sorts is of his final resting place upon the label of the monolith (kubrickian innit?) my, friends, the awesome sauceness and tragedy of his passing is outshined only by the excellent life he lived. a veteran of the arachno-hornet war, he made his name by webbing and draining over 30 hornets during the famed battle of 2 houses down and 1 street over. he was awarded the spidra medal of valor, the arachnid equivalent to the human medal of honor. after his honorable discharge, he retired to my bathroom, where his awesomeness continued. he has left hundreds of would be pests hollow and digested in his wake thus earning the repuation of being the pestcide with a pulse of the DARKlair. his contributions to my non-bug prblem cannot be overstated and he shall be sorely missed. so rest in peace, Spider "Long Legs" Webster. you're controlling God's pest problem now!

so tell me, who's mad world would you wanna live in?

the tears for fears edition?


or gary jules' version?


the man of every hour is a fan of originals, so for my money i'm rockin with the tears for fears boys. but both versions have their merits. you've probably heard the jules version more, and it ain't unusual for a remake to surpass the original in popularity. but that doesn't auto-magically make juley's version superior. it's quite rare for a remake to trump the original in quality, but not unheard of (the modest mouse remake of 'float on' comes to mind). still, theses two are coming from such different worlds it''s impossile to determine which is better. guess it's up to the listener. let me now in the comment section, bitches!



then again, this kiwi may have it all figured out...

life enriching material from your friends at diuu

i know your big wheel of sex appeal doesn't usually lay down hot buttered goodness on you in such short succession. i know it's even more rare for the deacon of deliciousness to erect two pillars of life enriching eFarfegnugen two days in a row. but baby girls, i have no choice. it's my pleasure to present to you satin wrapped orange dreamsicle, this lace front yakki vid, this sugar coated eye pastry, this, this... oh just watch. men without hats. safety. dance. now if you excuse me, i'm gonna go exfoliate. enjoy!

the holy grail

lAWD LAWD LAWD, ladies, your banana nut love muffin, luscious, has a very special announcement just for y'all. well, i guess you can bring your mens with you, too. that's right, this thing i have for you this evening is more important than a champagne filled hot tub with two sexy brazillian ladies. it's hotter than a chai mint latte with just a hint of raspberry. it's more luxurious than a seaweed wrap after a milk bath. it's more incredible than a rosemary and lemon oil rub down on a persian rug in your villa on the riviera with the venetian blinds up so you can smell the fresh croissant perfumed air. baby, i have found the holy grail of eVid's for y'alls viewing pleasure. i've found, now brace yourself and try not to scream to loud, but i have found... the gat damn JUGGERNAUT BITCH!!!! whoo, this is to much for me! if you'll excuse me, imma take me a tea tree oil shower and lay down on my goose down pillow with the silk sheets and burn some of this black love. y'all enjoy!

random question of the day

oh, dear readers, i have to ask you something: doesn't "nazi pope" sound like a captain america villain

or a skin head death metal band?

then why do we have one?

souls of misconduct

i have a confession to make: i don't have any important message to deliver. sorry i mislead you. my conduct has been unbecoming of a masked avenger, which i am. in fact i must drop character for a moment to speak to you as the man behind the mask. as recently as yesterday, i was the guy you all know and love, or at least a good bit of you knew and loved, but on the ride back from where i was, i had what alcoholics refer to as a moment of clarity. i realized just how unsatisfied i was with living this way. i don't have my own space, i don't have any friends nearby and i neglect the one true friend that is accessible to me. and, as it turns out, she hasn't been honest with me, but that's neither here nor there. the truth is i am terrified about what lies ahead for me. i still, STILL don't know where or even if i'm going to be in school in the next few months. how wild is that? i STILL don't know the most important bit of info about my future. and ladies and gentleman, that pretty much sums things up right now. that cold bitter fear of the unknown has crept back into my life.

it reminds me of my childhood, see back then i was afraid of the dark. in fact i wouldn't move, speak, or even open my eyes in a dark room for fear that the imaginary 'it' would be waiting just ahead of me to do something unspeakable if i moved or made a noise. and that 'it' has become 'life', and that 'life' has been stripped down to it's most notorious components: I-F. and, no, snoopy ain't flying down to save me from this red baron. i realized during that car ride that the 'it' of my childhood follies had become the 'if' that life throws at us all. while many of my friends and associates have taken that if by the neck and wrestled it back to life, i just haven't been able to. hell, i'm scared to. if i fail to bring if back to life, then i have a bachelors degree and am, to quote a younger me, "d0omed to the cubicle to feed my legacy". if i succeed then i'm on my way to law school in durham, LA, or NYC, and then i'm a lawyer, and i'm fucking trapped by my title and my practices location. i'm an angelino, new yorker, or carolinian, period, pencils down, pass in the test. THIS IS AN IRRATIONAL FEAR! success is the 'it' lurking in the dark, and i can't move, can't even open my eyes to behold it!

so during this moment of clarity, a query was about me. i asked myself "drew, what do you love?" and the answer was clear. i love the college atmosphere, and no sooner had the thought completed itself than i realized i was wrong. i'm not afraid of the fail/succeed conundrum, the bogeyman is boredom! i feel like i'm leaving the best years behind me without having fully realized them, and now it's work and taxes. even once i get into law school, 3 years and it's work and taxes. sorry but, that won't fly with me.