life after the cup: to the Americans

i'm sorry y'all. i know i'm usually raspberry red with passion and mango sweet with the juicy life enriching goodness. but i've been raspberry blue lately. see, i called in a few favors and rented out a pent house with lions and tigers in cages lined with ghana jerseys. i had my main man diddy bring all his friends over. i had usher give a live performance. i even shanghi'd the entire russian ballet bruce wayne style.now, for what would i go to such lengths for, you ask? you normally wouldn't risk a perfectly manicured finger for anything last than a major international, multicultural phenomenon! well, if you were paying attention (and if you were, here's a cookie!) you would have picked up on the ghana jersey lined animal cages i mentioned earlier. that would have clued you in to the nature of my extravaganza (if you read the title, here's a dollar! so you can buy yourself a cookie!) i got a baaad case of the us-soccer-lost-to-ghana-again-and-is-now-out-of-the-world-cup-...-again blues. where's little walter when you need him? well, despite the fact that no blues artist ever made a song about soccer (well, there IS this nice zydeco infused nawlins offering)yours truly reclaimed his status as the henny topped lemon drop thanks to the uplifting words in this song, and i think our red, white and blue boys just might take comfort in it, too.

the reason why we sing

as your DARK leader, i am required to occasionally provide you, the DARKling, with a small token of my apreciation. this usually comes in the form of some brief piece of unabridged awesomeness i haphazardly happened upon in my many travels. well, the following may just be the most unabridged piece of unabridged awesomeness ever to come from a subsidiary of an evil multibillion dollar multinational entertainment conglomerate. behold:

kobe dissenters unite!

before i begin let me make one thing clear: i ain't a hater. i've never been a hater. in fact i'm not even one hundred percent the term "hater" is defined in the drew-ctionary. if you happen to be a hater, please refrain from commenting on or reading this particular rant.

with that said, KOBE BEAN BRYANT IS A FESTIZIO AND A MANGINA! not for winning all the time, or having extramarital relations, or doing it again, or running the diesel out of LA, or getting his chin checked by chris childs, or opting not to be a part of the US basketball team that nearly buried US basketball, causing the gulf oil spill (among other things), shooting JR, etc. no, those are simply facts about the mans actions, and drew doesn't hold people responsible for their past. Kobe is an asshole because... HE'S AN ASSHOLE! it's his personality, his ego that get's him onto the permanent DIUU shit list. it's because of what he did as a high school phenom on draft day. now, the man of every hour makes no secret that he was born and reared in the greatest city on earth: Charlotte, NC! for those of you born after 2000, you may not know that we once had a basketball team in Charlotte, you may know them as the "gag me with a spoon" New Orleans Hornets. well way back in the dark ages (1996 if memory serves) the then Charlotte Hornets were set to select with the 11th, 12th, or 13th pick in the NBA draft.

then again, '96 was AWESOME

well, there was this high school phenom named for a dish at a japanese steak house, and the Hornets decided that they were going to use their lottery pick on him. apparently, an entity within the organization that you've dreamed of and worked your whole life to be in that is willing to bet their future on you wasn't good enough for him... because the city wasn't big enough. this ass hat straight dissed the team in my city because it wasn't new york or LA! for that, i will never be able to support him. even if i can concede that he is the greatest basketballer in the world, which i can and do, he will never have the drew everyday, nor will he get the DIUU seal of approval. so take those five rings and stick em where you ish from, mamba!

and here's video of kobe getting his chin checked by chris childs:

Kobe Bryant and Chris Childs Fight

don8yourhrtlikeOMG!!!!!bro-dylan | MySpace Video

whispers me to sleep

summer rains are some of my favorite things ever! they arrise so suddenly and often with little warning, leave their mark on the land and then vanish without leaving much of a trace behind. they remind me of mini flings, the kind that are sweet for a few weeks and then end amicably, the ones that you look back on when you're 80 and say, "what a gal, what a gal..." while you're grand kids wonder why they never had a fling like that. so rain on, monday, rain on...

question du jour ala radsom

if you were to take every NBA championship team and put them in a tournament to determine the ultimate champion, who takes it all?

my money's on these guys....


or any team with this guy:

...and DREW gets the girl

self explanatory