good sleep is a myth. you never really get it. i've never gotten "good" sleep. the only sleep i've ever gotten is "whatever i could afford at the time" sleep, or "not quite enough" sleep, or "i didn't get any" sleep. yesterday, i got sleep. twice. and it was adequate, but none of it was "good". i woke up feeling refreshed, but sluggish once, and terrible from wings and beer the second time. every time i wake up i feel cheated; either i feel like the sleep was just about to get good, or that dream was getting to the big payoff and now it's gone forever. sleep and i have a very complicated relationship. sleep never let's me have it when it would be beneficial, like at night, or when i have a few hours and could use a nap. but when i don't want it sleep just HAS to get at me NOW. it's usually in an inappropriate situation: i can always find a way to fall asleep in class, or fall asleep in church, or even once behind the wheel of my car (in the neighborhood and i woke up before i hit anything... well, before i hit anything head on). it also has to get at me at times i'd rather be doing other things. when i wanna watch that movie at 10:30 sleep wants to meet up at 10:25. or when i'm at that basketball game and it's getting good, like it's really close in the third so you know the fourth is gonna be exciting, sleep wants to show me pictures of it's cat, or weave a basket or some eff''n thing. and sometimes those inappropriate sleeps are the best feeling sleeps. but you can't even enjoy those because of how wrong you know it is.
long story short is that no sleep, even the good feeling ones, are "good". well, at least for me.
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