this lemony fresh piece of swag is so draped up and dripped out with swag that if this video was ice cube in the 80's, it's hair would be leave jheri swag juice stains in all its mama's furniture. if it were a puppet, it'd live on swaggle rock. if this video were a baseball card, it'd be a mint condition honus swagner rookie. were it a dog, it'd be swagging its tail furiously. if this video were a pokemon, it'd be a poliswag.
what did the five fingered chestburster say to the face?
if it were a car, it'd be volks-swagon. if it were a flower, it'd be a swagnolia. this vid has me in swagony.
if you read the whole thing you'll get to watch 2 whole videos!!!!! so do it
Fuck law school and the miserable bastard that invented.
My foolhardy endeavor to get my legalese on has cost me a lot. It's caused me to estrange or alienate my friends and family, lose touch with what's going on in the outside world, fall into what I'm sure are the early stages of alcoholism, and worst of all, it may even cost me the best romance I've ever known. Law school sucks SOOOOOO hard. The blows I've taken to my psyche, confidence and social life since getting here will never be fully relieved. Even if i can salvage my relationship with her, let's face it: what it was is gone forever. Forever. The stink of this situation (at least based on how i feel now) will always be there. A stain like that just doesn't come out, but you know what? I could live with all of that, all of it, hard and undesirable as it may be. I could do it, but law school has had one more nagging fee. A fee that taxes many of us wise fools who walk this path: I'm getting fat. Inexplicably fat at that.
And I ain't talking a few extra pounds either. I've put on a solid 20 extra, book reading, note taking, brief writing pounds since the start of last semester. Guys, there are shirts I bought at Christmas that looked nice then that just aren't cutting it anymore. And it's not for lack of maintenance, I'm in the gym sweating it out 4, 5, hell sometimes 6 times a week every week without fail. It's Thursday and I've already hit the gym twice, plan on going tonight and probably will go twice tomorrow since there's no class on Friday anymore. The amount of work I put in each week at the gym rivals the amount I put in doing LAW! But here I am, abdominal definition gone, belly making a comeback at my computer knocking out this quick blog before I do more law!
Sitting here, I look at my formerly vascular arms just upset at myself for letting this school business kick my ass. But, black Phoenix Wright that I am, I believe I've figured out why: several things!
objection overruled!
1) I don't sleep. Like at all. This lovely blog that you all should read spells out my issues with the sandman quite nicely.
2) Terrible food! Earlier today i made an assessment of what my meals consisted of and i realized that a brother hasn't seen a leafy green vegetable that wasn't accompanied by greasy hunks of salted sugar meats in... a long time. And I don't count the broccoli that came with the sesame chicken I had for dinner a few nights ago.
3) The AC that keeps my room a balmy 84 degrees. Apparently by doing that, I'm robbing my body of all those wonderful calorie burning opportunities that keeping self regulating Drew's internal temp offers.
4) Living in America *James Brown voice*. all these silly industrial chemicals that float around in the air we breathe cause us to pack on the pounds. Science types have done studies, believe me.
5) Law school (which fucking sucks). All the not moving around I have to do in order to be a decent law student is making me fat! I FUCKING KNEW IT! Also, there are tons of empty calories in alcohol which, as I implied earlier, I consume in copious amounts because how the fuck else am I supposed to deal with the stress of law school?
6) and finally: NO SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When I was deciding to go to law school I planned on being single so I could, like, bang with the lady 1Ls and junk. However, in an ironic twist of fate, I decided to begin a relationship with a nice young lady from college and proceeded to do the boyfriend thing. As this relationship was both fairly young and totally awesome, I decided not to break up before the semester started, effectively and simultaneously also deciding to be celibate while in law school. As we all know few activities are more physically exhausting and calorie burnerific (trademark) than a good thrust session, and as I have not had any thrust sessions I haven't burned those precious extra calories.
OK, so you want proof. well, sorry to say i didn't do any research. BUT, the guy in the video below sure did. And as you can probably tell by the causes of fatty fat fatness we both use, i sat on my fat ass and watched it. You do the same... fatties..
