no ugly people allowed!

it is no secret that i wear a mask. it isn't that i am ashamed by my looks, nor am i embarrassed at my own beauty. it is because i , your DARK warrior, must protect my identity, lest i risk loved ones becoming targets of some evildoers twisted vengeance. but let the people (and i use that in the loosest sense) of beautifulpeople.com have their way and the entirety of the unattractive population would be required to wear masks at all times--you know-- so the "beautiful people" wouldn't have to strain their gorgeous corneas looking at all you ugmos.

don't believe me? think that's just an empty sentiment?

well read this article. yeah, they reportedly kicked off 30,000 "less than aesthetically pleasing" users. still unconvinced? it's corroborated here. and here. oh, and here.

there are two things i find wrong with this picture. first let's look at, well, the picture:

breathtaking -_-

notice anything about the people in it? they're all seemingly tall and thin; they all appear to be 20-somethings: they look like models. is this what a "beautiful people" (see what i did there) is? sure, tyra banks is beautiful, but so is jill scott! natalie portman is beautiful, but so is natalie cole! why is such a narrow spectrum represented on your home screen, beautifulpeople.com?

furthermore, it is a dating site. based solely looks. are. you. kidding. me. this may be slightly tangential, but we at DIUU are not fans of dating sites at all. from the one where the criteria for males is that they be millionaires, to match and eHarmony (i give a damn how many 'marriages' your users have had. tell me, ematcharmony, how many of those 'marriages' ended in divorce?), they all break relationships down to a formula. relationships aren't built on a set of criteria. they're a partnership between two people. and tell me, how many people do you know in successful relationships that have a catalog of prerequisites? you're not gonna find the 6' 3" guy with a love for poetry, jeezy, the opera, the bachelorette, scuba, blue eyed with dreads and a 6 figure gig! you're not finding megan fox's face on vivica fox's body and a love for video games, mma, n.w.a., kid n' play, and michael buble! these sites already try to put a definitive on the abstract concept that is relationships, but beautifulpeople.com has stripped it down to the most base factor in choosing a mate (or a date): looks.

we disapprove. now let TLC tell you how we feel about you shallow muh' fuggas out there in beautiful people land:

DARKdays is upon us, bitches...

YOU ARE THE PROTOTYPE

it's the most luxurious trip on earth, luscious, with another slickified literary love ball for your hoop of passion. sitting here in my love train on my plush periwinkle couch, sipping on a mango echinacea smoothie i came across a trailer for a movie film called "the losers". in this trailor there was a sexy little love pot named aisha kicking booty and taking names. i was intrigued. my juicy fruit ripened under her sol-full glow. i just had to know who this ingenue that so had my genue on? one word: zoe saldana. we at DIUU are butt crazy in lust with her. why doesn't everyone look like zoe? oh, yeah, my trailor review the movie also has idris elba (the wire, daddy's little girls, rock n' rolla), jeffery dean morgan (watchmen, grey's anatomy), jason patric (in the valley of ellah, narc) and columbus short (cadillac records, stomp the yard) and likes like quite the romp. i know drew and DARK are gonna see it. me too, but only for zoe saldana...

addendum to IO:ZSITHLOTOAOP(OM)

less talkie more lookie (thanks again 'los!)

it's official: zoe saldana is the hottest lady on this or any other planet (or moon)

so a few days ago i saw that avatar movie with sissy tang, and had my mind sufficiently blown (btw imax 3D is the only way to watch movies of that kind, but that's another show). but something had been bothering me. i thought something was wrong with me, because there was no way i was supposed to think like this. i mean it's a computer generated, motion captured blue thing... with a tail. i'm rambling. so what could have shaken me so about a fantastical indictment of western imperialism? not the damn message thats for sure. then it hit me.

neytiri, the na'vi princess (i guess she qualifies for that title) was hot.

not 'she looks like the heat is getting to her' hot, i mean like cat call, howl-at-the-moon hot.

i was bugged by this because, after all, shes 10 foot tall blue alien... with a tail. so i went through the motions in the old noggin, trying to find either a justification for this flummoxing development, or a good reason to convince myself i was tripping. but i couldn't. no matter how i colored it, neytiri was a hottie and there was no good reason why. she was a hottie, period. a 10 foot, blue, half naked, bow wielding, dynobird riding hottie. i had to ask for help, so i went to the most qualified source of souch help: twitter. i got one response from my buddy carlos, "@DrewEveryday Absolutely not! Zoe Saldana is sexy all the time... animated or not" then it hit me like hot grits on al green's forehead: it wasn't that neytiri was so damn hot, it was that zoe saldana's hotitude (trademark) permeated through her azure facade! i was relieved! i wasn't secretly a furry! i was just a guy who appreciated beauty!

so i, the only one of these DIUU staffers that really matters, the man of every hour himself, drew everyday, have decided that zoe saldana has usurped previous winner freida pinto (latika, 'slumdog millionaire') as the worlds hottest woman, because aynybody can look good as a human, but it takes a special kind of hottie to pull off blue alien w/ tail hottieness. so here w/o further ado, is the photo tribute to the hottest thing in the cosmos, zoe saldana!

weaveless tyra: a DARKdays message to the ladies

recently on her now syndicated talk show (*martin voice* you go girl) former supermodel and all around beauty tyra banks gave her audience a revelation: her real hair! much to my surprise (and for that matter my delight) she wasn't bald! not that there's anything wrong with short haired girls, hell there are some sexy short haired girls, like halle berry back in the day. but tyra has long pretty black hair. faithful followers, i must ask: why do our women feel it's necessary to hide their real hair? i don't know of any man who has looked at a girl and said anything to the effect of "look at that girl, she bad as shit! damn i sure do wish she had a butt load of horse hair in her head! or even better hair that somebody else grew! that shit would be sexy!" i know that there's the idea that guys like long hair, but ladies, i'm going to let you in a secret. are you listening? good cause i'm only saying this once... GUYS LIKE GIRLS! we don't care that your hair is this way or that, we like you for your vagina and lady parts! and sometimes your personality, too. sure we appreciate the things that ladies have that are beautiful, like for instance if a girl has long, luxurious locks we do like that, but only if it is HER long, luxurious locks growing from HER scalp. we appreciate a girl with gorgeous green, blue, grey, or hazel eyes if the iris that we see is attatched to the rest of the organ. take it from me, it is a major turn off to find out that one of the things that has attracted us to a young lady was merely the clever rouse dreamt up by some mickey mouse corporation to fool us into mating. hell, if you're like me a guy like me then you don't even like girls to chemically alter their hair. not that there's anything wrong with that.

ladies, i understand that women can be especially harsh to one another, and at times you feel like you have to live up to their standards, but you shouldn't let others dictate your beauty to you. that's why i applaud tyra for doing this. in the world she lives in appearance is everything and extentions are almost a requiremnt for even the longest haired out there. she has always been one to tear down standards of beauty, whether it's challenging the notion of the 00 fashion model or becoming the first black to grace the cover of the SI swimsuit issue, or even just making a girl feel better about herself through her show, she has always been an advocate for young women everywhere. and this isn't anything new for her. she's already done a show sans makeup and a show with no bra during her career. so ladies, please stop wearing weave. that's really not a good look.