snow = cold. cold = AL GORE'S A BIG FAT STUPID!!!

even if you've been living under a rock for the past week, you are surely aware of two things: 1) you need to upgrade your living arrangements, and 2) it's F'N COLD! there is a record blizzard everywhere! i mean, where is the liberal premier, his scienciness al gore, and his global warming when we need it, am i right?! am i right?!?!

it's like right now. you see it's dark out. so therefore i must conclude that the sun will never again come out. i know that that's true because the sun isn't out right now. i also know that this means that there is not a place on this planet where the sun is it. if the sun is indeed out somewhere than why can't i see it? huh? HUH? riddle me THAT, batman!!!

it's like today, you know, before the sun left us forever i didn't see any birds or bees so i am certain, and i do mean doubtless that birds and bees have gone extinct. right now my nose itches, therefore non itchy noses are a myth. the phone is off, so the theory of telecommunication is false. i'm laying flat, therefore the world is flat. i see a red headed lady, so all ladies must have red hair, thus disproving blond and brunette. i can't see my sister, therefore i don't have a sister.
it's cold but it's not snowing here, so there must be no such thing as snow. but it is cold, so global warming? false, am i right?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

well, kemosabe, i hate to break it to you but you're wrong. cold dead, under a rock, and wrong to top it off. also, before i continue, good luck President Goodluck Johnathon of Nigeria (more to come later. now back to your regularly scheduled blog rant)

this, friends, is a logical flaw. the exact flaw present in this group of arguments is the same of that asserted by our conservative blab-o-nauts ® about global warming. the word is that because they are all snowed in their conserv-o-lairs® (i can only assume some reagan shaped cave-lab, sponsored by big corporate, in the middle of one of the great lakes) that al gore is a big stupid head who lied about global warming. let me repeat: they said "BECAUSE MY TUSHY IS COLD, GLOBAL WARMING IS A LIE!"

there are two names for this flaw. name one (what we'll be using) is the proof by example fallacy. also known as an inappropriate generalization, the proof by example fallacy says that because x is true and x is apart of set A than what's true of x is true of A. i know it sounds reasonable, but here's an example of this fallacy: it rains in the sahara desert, deserts are dry, so the sahara is not a desert. here's another one: gravity, if it exists, holds things down. birds fly. birds are things, therefore gravity doesn't exist. oh you need one more? a red delicious is red, a red delicious is an apple, therefore all apples are red.

what do we know? we know that the sahara is a desert with a dry climate, we know that gravity exists, and we know that apples come in many different colors. the mistake is made when you mistake the characteristics of part of a whole for the whole, saying silly things like the sahara isn't a desert because it rained occur.

the same can be said for climate change. when you mistakenly attribute a weather event in a small part of the planet as the barometer for the climactic trends of the whole planet you get republiphiles like limbaugh and becky saying "i'm cold, so global warming is a lie". saying a blizzard in the northeastern US disproves global warming is like saying that a lady smacking you proves that all women are violent. it doesn't correlate that way. people like faux, erm , fox news and limbaugh will take any opportunity to swipe at so called liberal ideals, despite facts. here are the facts:

FACT global warming is a global climactic process that is taking place over years and decades, and has occured before.

FACT the 2000's were the hottest decade on record, causing unparralled melting of the ice caps, record breaking storms, and (yes) record snowfall.

FACT the right has a history of politicizing the non-political

in conclusion, don't you fall for the bull chucking and mud slinging coming out of the right in the wake of this blizzard. after all, we know that since you're not in washington that means it doesn't exist. unless you are, in which case i don't exist because you can't see me. either way you're probably right. you can crawl back under your rock now.

birth of the blues

They says they was a man
But they ain’t sho’
Don’t nobody know what was this mans home
He don’t got a mama o’ a pappy
Aun brutha o’ sista
Alls he got’s his gitar and a his saaaad sad song
His balls and his word
But dontcha go on aksin him
Cuz he wont tell

Lawd jesus could he play
Eva note the tears o’ the devil
Let me tell it the devil his self
They say he wont born
He like not to eva’ exist
Nary a picture of him ‘round

They say he was come to the cross roads
Full grown, a go’geus black man
Lands a’mighty he shone like wood fire
Beside this man was a gitar carved from
Black oak with strangs a’gold
He git up and looked
Left, was desert, right was a forest
Trees fulla that there
Strange fruit

And ahead was blacker than the heart
That made him
So black ya couldn’t see ya eyes close
And it was sweet as revenge

They say they was a road yonder
Plain as day it shone through that darkness
And it was anotha’n run ‘cross it
He aint know why or what, but he know
He gotta cross that road

And there he go, holdin’ fast to
His flesh bound book

Skin was white as snow in the moonlight
Eyes burned like whip ‘cross yo back
With the finest zoot suit yo’ eyes did see
He was beautiful
And this man called to that butha
And told him he would change the world
If he would give up his soul

If’n he he was a man ‘fore this
He might’na knowed what’d happen
But he wasn’t
He was newborn, green, a lil’ sapplin
And this here beautiful man was a full tit
Offerin’ him the great I am
The world for a soul and a suck

This man they say look at his gitar
Then he look at the snow white stranga’
He say he’d give anythin’ a make that
black and gold moan
And he prick his own fanga
And sign his name in that stranga’s book

Not even ‘fore the blood dry
This here wood fired man o’ ash and coal
Strum them strangs
And sounds man aint neva know poured out
The tears o’ the devil
They say that strange fruit jump down
from the tree, and move like
Like this man plucked Gawd’s breath outta that
Gitar

man look around for the stranga
But he was gone
Nuthin but the smell o’ sulfur and burnin’ flesh
Left behind
And a note that say
“See ya’ in 27 years my boy”

So he was born
Black man sho’ nuff like no other
And ever act to come there afta’
Would know the name
O’ Robert Johnson