2 days in march: the official DIUU tachikoma

dook university prof. miguel nicolelis has been making striking breakthroughs in bio-neurological technologies. with his research, it will soon be possible for humans to conquer physical limitations by linking your mind to mechanical apparati! He's already perfected the "monkey-moving-a-robot-with-only-his-thoughts" conundrum (mankind will be sure to thank you for the robomonkey insurrection that's all but assured now) in fact, there are hopes that this research will allow disabled people who have lost the ability to use their limbs a new lease on life! naturally we here at DIUU, being of both monetary and intellectual means, were well ahead of the curve! therefore we were wondering when tachikomas were going to be available to the public!

 what's a tachikoma? well, i'm glad you asked! a tachikoma is a sentient battle tank, personal assistant and all around bad ass transport device, in other words a literal "think tank". it's the only thing i know of that can help you study for a test, get you there on time, AND kick that kid who steals your lunch money's ass. it's that awesome. here's how one looks:

 

awesome, right? that's just the basic, or "true blue", model. here's ours terrorizing old guys and kittens on a boardwalk:

 you read the title, right

want one? i know you do. we have three. tres. trois. here's our battle ready edition:

note the camouflage and the sensible muted black lettering, perfect for staying incognito while blowing stuff up! oh yeah, we got a sweet yellow and black sports edition complete with official DIUU barcode decal, because why the hell not?

well, that's it. our tachikoma collection. literally sunk our entire fortune into it, but, F*** YOU! we've got three now! us 1, reasonable spending and wealth management 0. til next time...

behold the purply rnb goodness that is h-town & jodeci (by drewfus mclovin)

behold ladies and germs, real rnb straight from the annuls of 1992! behold as the houston crooners h-town and charlotte's vocal suavisimos jodeci take the culture back to a time when sessy music didn't need no stinking lab tricks. back to a day when all you needed was two or three homies (or brothers, or cousins) to back yo sangin' ass up and a few harmonies and spladow! you had a panty dampening hit! no voice modulators, 'ceptin of course the uber cool (because of, not despite the fact that it was used so well soooo sparingly) synthesizer. remember computer love? me too! thanks zapp & roger! anyway, this song is such hot buttered goodness that even my friend, luscious manwellington, said "i just wanna simmer this song in its own juices and sop it up with a biscuit." i don't know what that means either but from him, it's about as good as it gets. anyway, this song makes me wanna throw on my lavender linen suit with minty green ascot and walk down the beach outside my villa with no shoes on, then go back inside and lay spme lucky lady down on a bed rose petals and give her a standing ovation, but that's just me...