11th hour happenings

strange news, DARKlings. i returned from patrol to find apparently i have been, tentatively at least, accepted to the norman adrian wiggins law school @ campbell university.

this is the one

i feel some kinda way about this. i could, and by all rights should, be honored that they're giving me a fair shot despite my admittedly incomplete application (i'm on the waiting list. i said it was a 'tentative' acceptance). but there is a rather sizable chunk of me that just... feels... maybe... a little... teensy bit... insulted. if you've been following like the faithful darklings, and, yes, drewninites, that i know you are then you know that i've already been UNconditionally accepted into law school..... TWICE!!!! NOT ONE, NOT 3, BUT TWICE! 1, 2, 3, 4, TWICE!!! only for campbell to stick me on the waiting list. the waiting list! as if i were some dipwad who turned in an incompl- and lets just move on. the other reason i may or may not take offense to this 11th hour gesture: they waited until i spent 1,000 smackers reserving my seat in new york!!! i feel slighted! but i'm not upset. life has certainly provided more roses than thorns of late. and with that, i bid you adieu! these mean streets need their guardian

fear no tears

tis i, the one and only tenderizer of the ronies, luscious. sorry i've been away so long. i had an urgent engagement with two fine tahitian ladies on a beach in bora bora (don't ask questions) and completely lost track of myself. anyway, i feel like i owe y'all something. something real nice and retro, you know, as a gift for havin to wait so long for my return. so with no further ado, i give you a little tears for fears! now if you'll excuse me, Nanihi and Miri aren't gonna massage oil onto themselves...

Hey, June! (RQOD)

take a sad song and make it better...
speaking of sad songs, drewninites, here's my random question of the day:


is it sad that a man falling victim to his man-tosterone, and having sexual experiences, is enough toget him excommunicated from public service? isn't it more sad that, based on the frequency of "man-tosteromegate" scandals, the excommunicators are likely engaging in similar acts?

drop us a comment in the drewniverse...

the president asked me to deliver a message

DARK's prayer (for those being taunted by the light)

dear lord,
for years i have walked in near constant darkness. the hardships of doubt and despair, rejection and refusal, the trial and error, self denial and indulgence in the uneasy comfort my tribulation brought me. there was a sort of honor in the single man's fight for actualization. Lord, the revelry, the relishing in it -- tempering my resolve to brilliant cut and flame polished, my steadfastness to a singularity's denseness-- i felt pride in my fight. lord, i knew, because you told me that if i walked 1000 miles toward my goal, you's carry 1000000 more. i, even during those sleepless nights where the doubt would gently rock me to wake every second tock, even when the days were wed and afternoons were breakfast fed, never once left your path. you told me to walk, lord, and i did. and i was rewarded! oh, the bounty was poured from on high: love and happiness from the one you smelted for me, and my goal, the one you sent my mother when i was young, was beset in my path. i could taste victories, luscious and wholesome, in the air, and i relaxed.

lord, the pains i went through to do everything the right way. i made the grades, i made the scores, i wandered through my desert for my 40 years. why, lord, must i be forsaken? why must my goal be thrust even further from me? the lusciousness has left the air. there is only the stench of what should have been. but lord, if your will is for me to bear this cross for a while longer, then i will walk these next 1000 miles with my head held high. if it is your will, i will walk until the air becomes luscious again

Amen

from the catacomb archives: the death of geocites / the herald underground (T.H.Ug)

check out my latest adventure with that bad-time bammy, The Groundskeeper of the The Herald Underground. i was doing... research.... more to come
from the catacomb archives: the death of geocites / the herald underground (T.H.Ug)

not 1, not 3! but 2! a DIUU tale about red tape

*UPDATE: uhhh, yeah, so about 8 hours after i wrote this, the HR department called me to schedule my orientation. so with that said, enjoy this now meaningless rant! also, I GOT A JOB!!!!!*

one of the big reasons a north carolina university will not have it's name emblazoned across the topm of my law school diploma is that i have become fed up with entrusting any part of my success or failure in other peoples hands. each school i applied to in my home state gave me the same answer: impressive application, but LSAC didn't send in letters from recommendors, so thanks for coming, and we'd really really like to admit you but we're gonna call your application incomplete. REALLY!

same thing is going on with this job i'm going for. oh, i applied for, interviewed for, and was ESSENTIALLY HIRED BY the interviewers. well, i figured i had my bases covered. needed to recommendations, got 3. three. but, they needed one from my former boss, so i call her up, and guess what? she says she'll write me a nice one! so i keep checking in, and she informs me that she's done it and everything. only problem is, the hr department, (they requested her recommendation) doesn't have a completed one from her, they say, so guess what? I CAN'T START THE JOB THAT I EARNED THROUGH MY OWN MERITS BECAUSE SOME EFFN RED TAPE BS CAN'T GET SORTED OUT! ain't life grand?

peachy

you gotta have charisma

also known as the best rapper you've never heard of. he had his life cut short at the age of 20. sadly, unlike big L (who thanks to relationships with the likes of jay-z and biggie smalls is widely lauded for his rhyming skills to this day), charizma doesn't have near the following he should. his former running mate peanut butter wolf, through several posthumous releases and collaborations (including this very well done compilation) has done all he can to keep his friend and partner's memory alive. so here is my attempt. behold:

sex.com, though?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

2 days in march: the official DIUU tachikoma

dook university prof. miguel nicolelis has been making striking breakthroughs in bio-neurological technologies. with his research, it will soon be possible for humans to conquer physical limitations by linking your mind to mechanical apparati! He's already perfected the "monkey-moving-a-robot-with-only-his-thoughts" conundrum (mankind will be sure to thank you for the robomonkey insurrection that's all but assured now) in fact, there are hopes that this research will allow disabled people who have lost the ability to use their limbs a new lease on life! naturally we here at DIUU, being of both monetary and intellectual means, were well ahead of the curve! therefore we were wondering when tachikomas were going to be available to the public!

 what's a tachikoma? well, i'm glad you asked! a tachikoma is a sentient battle tank, personal assistant and all around bad ass transport device, in other words a literal "think tank". it's the only thing i know of that can help you study for a test, get you there on time, AND kick that kid who steals your lunch money's ass. it's that awesome. here's how one looks:

 

awesome, right? that's just the basic, or "true blue", model. here's ours terrorizing old guys and kittens on a boardwalk:

 you read the title, right

want one? i know you do. we have three. tres. trois. here's our battle ready edition:

note the camouflage and the sensible muted black lettering, perfect for staying incognito while blowing stuff up! oh yeah, we got a sweet yellow and black sports edition complete with official DIUU barcode decal, because why the hell not?

well, that's it. our tachikoma collection. literally sunk our entire fortune into it, but, F*** YOU! we've got three now! us 1, reasonable spending and wealth management 0. til next time...