ps, this

any questions?

the return... challenge accepted

after almost 3 months, an IM chat with a fellow law student has led me to the inspiration for my next swagtastic blab fest. as i was discussing with the lovely and talented miss sam bam of lawlessandflawless the finer points of her introductory blog about 90's kid awesomeness (click that there link up there) i was reminded of a rather obscure piece of pop crossover swag frim back when mtv was still cool. it was a show called " Say What?! Karaoke" and Danielle "Topanga Lawerence" Fishel, aka my school boy crush, was rapping to busta rhymes single "Gimme Some More"!


see how impressive that is? anywho, sammie challenged me to produce the video (ok, so she just said she didn't remember that and i set out to prove it happened) but there was one problem: this seems to be the only obscure video the interwebs can't produce! i began to believe i'd just made it up! so i did the next best thing. i asked google if it even happened at all, and got my answer: yes, it even happened at all! according to wiki.answers: "She did the rap during a Celebrity special of MTV's Say What Karaoke". by the rules of the internet, this means that somebody has video of it somewhere! and now, drewninites, i charge you with helping me find it! my bloggers integrity depends on it.





ps, i cant in good conscience do a topanga rapping blog and leave you with no topanga clips so hears, the boy meets world karaoke contest:

swag! swag swag swag swag swag swag!!!!!!!

this lemony fresh piece of swag is so draped up and dripped out with swag that if this video was ice cube in the 80's, it's hair would be leave jheri swag juice stains in all its mama's furniture. if it were a puppet, it'd live on swaggle rock. if this video were a baseball card, it'd be a mint condition honus swagner rookie. were it a dog, it'd be swagging its tail furiously. if this video were a pokemon, it'd be a poliswag.

what did the five fingered chestburster say to the face?

if it were a car, it'd be volks-swagon. if it were a flower, it'd be a swagnolia. this vid has me in swagony.
 

gettin fat. whatev's

if you read the whole thing you'll get to watch 2 whole videos!!!!! so do it



Fuck law school and the miserable bastard that invented.

My foolhardy endeavor to get my legalese on has cost me a lot. It's caused me to estrange or alienate my friends and family, lose touch with what's going on in the outside world, fall into what I'm sure are the early stages of alcoholism, and worst of all, it may even cost me the best romance I've ever known. Law school sucks SOOOOOO hard. The blows I've taken to my psyche, confidence and social life since getting here will never be fully relieved. Even if i can salvage my relationship with her, let's face it: what it was is gone forever. Forever. The stink of this situation  (at least based on how i feel now) will always be there. A stain like that just doesn't come out, but you know what? I could live with all of that, all of it, hard and undesirable as it may be. I could do it, but law school has had one more nagging fee. A fee that taxes many of us wise fools who walk this path: I'm getting fat. Inexplicably fat at that.

And I ain't talking a few extra pounds either. I've put on a solid 20 extra, book reading, note taking, brief writing pounds since the start of last semester. Guys, there are shirts I bought at Christmas that looked nice then that just aren't cutting it anymore. And it's not for lack of maintenance, I'm in the gym sweating it out 4, 5, hell sometimes 6 times a week every week without fail. It's Thursday and I've already hit the gym twice, plan on going tonight and probably will go twice tomorrow since there's no class on Friday anymore. The amount of work I put in each week at the gym rivals the amount I put in doing LAW! But here I am, abdominal definition gone, belly making a comeback at my computer knocking out this quick blog before I do more law!

Sitting here, I look at my formerly vascular arms just upset at myself for letting this school business kick my ass. But, black Phoenix Wright that I am, I believe I've figured out why: several things!

objection overruled!

1) I don't sleep. Like at all. This lovely blog that you all should read spells out my issues with the sandman quite nicely.
2) Terrible food! Earlier today i made an assessment of what my meals consisted of and i realized that a brother hasn't seen a leafy green vegetable that wasn't accompanied by greasy hunks of salted sugar meats in... a long time. And I don't count the broccoli that came with the sesame chicken I had for dinner a few nights ago.
3) The AC that keeps my room a balmy 84 degrees. Apparently by doing that, I'm robbing my body of all those wonderful calorie burning opportunities that keeping self regulating Drew's internal temp offers.
4) Living in America *James Brown voice*.  all these silly industrial chemicals that float around in the air we breathe cause us to pack on the pounds. Science types have done studies, believe me.
5) Law school (which fucking sucks). All the not moving around I have to do in order to be a decent law student is making me fat! I FUCKING KNEW IT! Also, there are tons of empty calories in alcohol which, as I implied earlier, I consume in copious amounts because how the fuck else am I supposed to deal with the stress of law school?

6) and finally: NO SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I was deciding to go to law school I planned on being single so I could, like, bang with the lady 1Ls and junk. However, in an ironic twist of fate, I decided to begin a relationship with a nice young lady from college and proceeded to do the boyfriend thing. As this relationship was both fairly young and totally awesome, I decided not to break up before the semester started, effectively and simultaneously also deciding to be celibate while in law school. As we all know few activities are more physically exhausting and calorie burnerific (trademark) than a good thrust session, and as I have not had any thrust sessions I haven't burned those precious extra calories.

OK, so you want proof. well, sorry to say i didn't do any research. BUT, the guy in the video below sure did. And as you can probably tell by the causes of fatty fat fatness we both use, i sat on my fat ass and watched it. You do the same... fatties..

broken bones

honestly iun eem know why i try anymore







i guess it's the fear of dying alone









back half broke in a broke down chair
both feet broke but i really don't care
bed not made and the clothes unfold
familiar symptoms, i been told

they say the definition of insanity is trying the same thing again
and expecting it turn out different
punched a wall and it broke my hand
got mad at it and punched it again

took my broken foot and i kicked a can
then my other one, the cycle begins
past midnight and i'm wide awake
fo the second day and night straight

to the drewniverse i escape
minus mask, never had a cape
without chain, no medallion
no name, just white tee stylin

man, fresh as the morning dew
orange red and purple light gleam through
and as the cycle begins anew

i could go back to the old drew




trying to do anything to skirt the real issues







even though it's eatin me away



you know i can't let you go



that's how i know i'm going crazy


but i don't know if i can do this
to feel your touch and your kiss
that's the shit that i miss
but you know what?
i gotta be honest

the way i'm feeling right now, i don't know how it's gon work
i know we can deal with these goblins
but we wont just be doing it now, cause i know you'll be trying
and that's the problem

it just won't be the same

but does that mean it just shouldn't be at all?

i guess i'm saying why do we always love the ones who hurt?
treat 'em in kind right?
i should be better than that,
but maybe it's iron pyrite

and even though you shine bright
and it's more than just the limelight
it's your glow
and ooh, girl, i love it so

it's just right now iunno

kharma

so this is what i get, huh? this is me now? all those things i did and this is how you get me? this kharma thing is a real vindictive bitch. you know, i've done my dirt. i've broken my hearts, hell, we all have. but the one time i try to do the really for real right thing and not love these hoes, this. this? really, this? i mean i've never actually BEEN the good guy before. i always have had at least 1 other one on the side. always! and i don't think i ever made any pretenses that i didn't have other ones. in high school it was "uhh, yeah. there are other girls. i'm 16, whadya want me to do, marry you NOW? meh, i'm just tryna have fun". in college it was, "nah, i don't really believe in the whole 'boyfriend/girlfriend' thing. it's all just a big fallacy anyway. just an arbitrary label society makes us wear so we don't have to tell our parents 'i want you to meet the person i'm putting penis inside/giving up my va jay jay to this semester'. it's a big joke! the only real titles are 'fiance' and 'spouse', so i hope you don't espect me to miss out on all this random college yum yum because we both like trainspotting and UGK. i'm only 19 so, hey, i'm just having fun". even after graduation when i finally gave in to the idea of having a girlfriend who wasn't just an excuse to make sexy time, it was, "i'm done playing around with scattered ass girls. but i ain't for the dating just to have somethinf tip. you can have that one. i'm cool with mine. man this single life is the shit, what with the no naggin questions, and the 'who was that bitch i seen you with' questions. now i can weed these girls out and find the good ones and keep them to myself. i mean, i'm 22: time to build the strong team so i can have fun" but now, for once in my life it's, "i look around and don't see anybody that's worth the risk of losing her. she must be special. i'm 24, and her and i are fun together". but this hatin ass hater kharma... she hit me with the okie doke. she got me. i got got. i guess that's the fate of all of us wannabe players masquerading as good guys our whole lives. when you finally start to live the part, finally actually do the good guy thing thinking you got kharma figured out, you turn around to look for her intent on gloating about how she missed you, how she didn't get you, and then you finally see her and ...

 

cold mother ffffffuuuuu-

sleepy time blues

good sleep is a myth. you never really get it. i've never gotten "good" sleep. the only sleep i've ever gotten is "whatever i could afford at the time" sleep, or "not quite enough" sleep, or "i didn't get any" sleep. yesterday, i got sleep. twice. and it was adequate, but none of it was "good". i woke up feeling refreshed, but sluggish once, and terrible from wings and beer the second time. every time i wake up i feel cheated; either i feel like the sleep was just about to get good, or that dream was getting to the big payoff and now it's gone forever. sleep and i have a very complicated relationship. sleep never let's me have it when it would be beneficial, like at night, or when i have a few hours and could use a nap. but when i don't want it sleep just HAS to get at me NOW. it's usually in an inappropriate situation: i can always find a way to fall asleep in class, or fall asleep in church, or even once behind the wheel of my car (in the neighborhood and i woke up before i hit anything... well, before i hit anything head on). it also has to get at me at times i'd rather be doing other things. when i wanna watch that movie at 10:30 sleep wants to meet up at 10:25. or when i'm at that basketball game and it's getting good, like it's really close in the third so you know the fourth is gonna be exciting, sleep wants to show me pictures of it's cat, or weave a basket or some eff''n thing. and sometimes those inappropriate sleeps are the best feeling sleeps. but you can't even enjoy those because of how wrong you know it is.

long story short is that no sleep, even the good feeling ones, are "good". well, at least for me.

10 minute break pt 2: the redux

this is the point in my career where i start to think i might have been better suited choosing a different path in life.

i really like taking my break to write about shit that's on my mind rather than spending hard earned bucks on shitty kiosk food.

all my professors this year that i didn't have last year seem to really believe in their knowledge of the law, and don't get me wrong, they're really smart, but damn. you don't have to make a brother feel like an a-hole for not quite being there yet.

part of me wants to grow my fro back. i know i won;t be able to wear one again until i prove myself as a serious legal mind, so while i'm a silly 1L-2L i want to do it one last time.... also i wanna beat Ashley's fro

paying attention in class is for squares. like pants!

i figure that with my health, advances in modern medicine, and my future high income, it's not unrealistic to believe i could live to be 245-300 years.

there's this wicked awesome looking fan made Pokemon game that appears to run on the SFIII engine. if you're not creaming your pants 1) clearly you're not a nerd, and thus should reevaluate your life, and/or 2) you lack the vision to truly understand the gravity of that proclamation. let me spell it out: imagine you took the most bad-ass fighting monsters on Nintendo's roster (that are bipedal) and instead of having to wait your turn to throw an attack, you just had them go at it in a 1-on-1 no holds barred two round match. if that doesn't do it for you, just watch this. see.? wow...

was ithe only one that watched the pro bowl and thought: "wow. this is really really bad"

alert level juris

you ever get that feeling that through no real misstep, no real slip up, no real fault of your own, you made a really big mistake? that's how i feel right now. i feel like i did most everything right: i graduated high school in the top 10% of my class, graduated with honors from college, started working right away, then i got into post graduate education. whoopee, right? well there's a problem: i went to law school. and I'm starting to feel like it was a fool's decision more and more.

don't get me wrong, it's a great opportunity to do fulfilling work and make a a lot of money, (but volunteers can do fulfilling work, and the lotto is also a good opportunity to make a lot of money and they won't put you almost $200k in the hole). but that really is only true for those who don't have to pay their way through with loans (remember that $200k hole?). for people like me it's more like i gotta hope i do well enough to  put myself in position to rub elbows with the right people, because, let's face it, the only people who get jobs that payout enough to cover the cost of school are the ones who schmooze the best.

the top students in the class don't necessarily get the best jobs, the self promoters do. that's logical fallacy of law school number 1. logical fallacy number 2 is that law school = future success and financial windfall. that's what attracted me to it in the first place. the idea that i could do something where i could help people and make bread doing it was all i needed to know. law school was for me. the third logical fallacy of law school is what i just mentioned: the fulfilling work. yes, there are Gloria Allred types out there who advocate for causes they believe in and earn a nice living doing it (not to mention a reputation), but to be fair, it's usually only the full-ride kids who can justify "doing it for the love, not the money" type jobs. the rest of us federal and bank loan students have to get gigs that can cover those loans. we are the soulless bloodsuckers who give lawyers a bad name, but we only do so out of necessity. it's the way the system is set up. these law schools have to provide us with an immense pool of resources just to learn us the law and how to use it. in order to fund all that, especially for private schools (like mine), they charge us ridiculously high tuition. in my case when you add on fees, I'll be paying around $60k/year. 6-0. if my applications hadn't been sabotaged, (but that's another blog) I'd be in state at a state school and I'd be paying $13-$24k/year.

but I'm getting away from the real issue with law school: the real job market. when i graduate there will be hundreds of jobs available. hundreds of jobs with thousands of applicants. and each applicant without a scarlet "H" or navy "Y" on their diploma is already at a disadvantage. among the jobs that don't hire exclusively from the ivy, you have to deal with the other of the several top 40 schools in the greater NY area. once those jobs get filled, it's time to push for job as a PD or ADA which will earn you between $40k and $100k/year, which sounds good until you consider cost of living in NY. what $400/mth would get me in Durham I'd be paying $1000+ for up here. now scale that up to a home suitable for a person with a law degree. now add on price of gas, food, doctor bills, repairs -- oh yeah, and the $2,000+ you'll be paying in loans each month... get it? unsustainable. then there are the clerk positions that you could get as a 1L-2L in law school. that's what the next bit of us have to look forward to. now let's consider my unique situation: I'm not only going to have to glad-hand my way into a decent gig, but I'm going to have to do so while convincing a firm in NC that my NY education will translate to NC law. and that's if I'm lucky enough to find a job at all... did i mention that there's a very real possibility that i could go through law school and do everything right and intern over the summers and STILL wind up jobless and in debt? because that's true, too.

so I'm starting to not feel very good about my life choices. but, hey, there's always the JD-MBA route...

so tell me, what do you think about your path in life?

random question of the day: the swagged out edition

let's face it: as cool as zack morris was, he was really just what ferris bueller was when he wasn't playing hookie. and a.c. slater? take away the muscles and the mullet and all you have is...

yeah...

and don't get me started on cody lambert. a middle american surfer? Crawl much, bu-uuuuddy? (please don't roundhouse kick my face in the balls) which brings me to my question: will smith, carlton banks (fuck you, he had swag), and obviously clarissa darling withstanding, was there a swaggier mo fo ever on tv ever than dwayne wayne?

part 2: who among the big four was the swaggiest?

dwayne?

 

will?

carlton?

or clarissa?

**PS: i purposefully left the lisa turtle's and blossoms and hillary banks's of the world out of consideration. i tried to make this the all dudes edition, but clarissa is just too swaggy to deny**

**PPS: remember how the stoner dude from step by step's wicked awesome roundhouse kick? remember that show roundhouse?