mcnasty filth

you ever see something that just made your face scrunch up as you say, "now that... that's just mean"? check out this mark (*shrugs* iunno why it's called that either) from an Australian rules football game:

doesn't that just make you wanna do this?

that's from Australian rules football, which, like rugby, is played without pads in countries where millionaires and billionaires don't piss and moan about who gets what percentage of the billions of dollars they make playing a game! and also that was an epic run on sentence! well lets hope this season in the NFL produces an epic moment or two like that. I'll let CM Punk tell you how i feel about the lockout:

when will we get...

i've gone back to black today. as i can not allow myself to only say goodbye with words, i dedicate this post to the memory of ms. Amy Winehouse: one of my personal favorite ladies.

kame.. .ha... mE... HADOUKEN!!!!!!!!

So yesterday I got blown up. Not in that slang, "they keep blowing me up", kinda way. I mean going up in flames, towering inferno blown up. I mean goodness gracious great ball of fire. I mean intense heat and concussive pressure blown up. I'm saying it was literal.

Now I don't wanna put to much on it -- this isn't one of those post near-death experience posts -- but it does make me think. It didn't scare me. You know, beyond the initial 'hadouken! Duck!!' reaction.

it's quite a reaction.

But there was no lingering sense that I had been in real danger. There wasn't a Richard Pryor, "when that fire hit yo' ass" moment of clarity. I laughed it off picked up my phone (I'd dropped it on account of the yoga flame in my face) and went on to cook a meal and a quite good one @ that. A day later you'd never know anything went down. But I have had time to reflect, and this is what I've come to: that cold have been a lot worse. I could have been burned, the grill could have literally exploded instead of just producing a fireball (the red one. That Ken threw in Turbo by pressing HP. It set the other guy on fire.), this post could be from a hospital bed instead of my bathroom, or worse I could be gone. So what do I do oh this pseudo second chance? Iunno, y'all. I don't know. Stay posted, drewninites...

also, mario fireballs

no ugly people allowed!

it is no secret that i wear a mask. it isn't that i am ashamed by my looks, nor am i embarrassed at my own beauty. it is because i , your DARK warrior, must protect my identity, lest i risk loved ones becoming targets of some evildoers twisted vengeance. but let the people (and i use that in the loosest sense) of beautifulpeople.com have their way and the entirety of the unattractive population would be required to wear masks at all times--you know-- so the "beautiful people" wouldn't have to strain their gorgeous corneas looking at all you ugmos.

don't believe me? think that's just an empty sentiment?

well read this article. yeah, they reportedly kicked off 30,000 "less than aesthetically pleasing" users. still unconvinced? it's corroborated here. and here. oh, and here.

there are two things i find wrong with this picture. first let's look at, well, the picture:

breathtaking -_-

notice anything about the people in it? they're all seemingly tall and thin; they all appear to be 20-somethings: they look like models. is this what a "beautiful people" (see what i did there) is? sure, tyra banks is beautiful, but so is jill scott! natalie portman is beautiful, but so is natalie cole! why is such a narrow spectrum represented on your home screen, beautifulpeople.com?

furthermore, it is a dating site. based solely looks. are. you. kidding. me. this may be slightly tangential, but we at DIUU are not fans of dating sites at all. from the one where the criteria for males is that they be millionaires, to match and eHarmony (i give a damn how many 'marriages' your users have had. tell me, ematcharmony, how many of those 'marriages' ended in divorce?), they all break relationships down to a formula. relationships aren't built on a set of criteria. they're a partnership between two people. and tell me, how many people do you know in successful relationships that have a catalog of prerequisites? you're not gonna find the 6' 3" guy with a love for poetry, jeezy, the opera, the bachelorette, scuba, blue eyed with dreads and a 6 figure gig! you're not finding megan fox's face on vivica fox's body and a love for video games, mma, n.w.a., kid n' play, and michael buble! these sites already try to put a definitive on the abstract concept that is relationships, but beautifulpeople.com has stripped it down to the most base factor in choosing a mate (or a date): looks.

we disapprove. now let TLC tell you how we feel about you shallow muh' fuggas out there in beautiful people land:

DARKdays is upon us, bitches...

11th hour happenings

strange news, DARKlings. i returned from patrol to find apparently i have been, tentatively at least, accepted to the norman adrian wiggins law school @ campbell university.

this is the one

i feel some kinda way about this. i could, and by all rights should, be honored that they're giving me a fair shot despite my admittedly incomplete application (i'm on the waiting list. i said it was a 'tentative' acceptance). but there is a rather sizable chunk of me that just... feels... maybe... a little... teensy bit... insulted. if you've been following like the faithful darklings, and, yes, drewninites, that i know you are then you know that i've already been UNconditionally accepted into law school..... TWICE!!!! NOT ONE, NOT 3, BUT TWICE! 1, 2, 3, 4, TWICE!!! only for campbell to stick me on the waiting list. the waiting list! as if i were some dipwad who turned in an incompl- and lets just move on. the other reason i may or may not take offense to this 11th hour gesture: they waited until i spent 1,000 smackers reserving my seat in new york!!! i feel slighted! but i'm not upset. life has certainly provided more roses than thorns of late. and with that, i bid you adieu! these mean streets need their guardian

fear no tears

tis i, the one and only tenderizer of the ronies, luscious. sorry i've been away so long. i had an urgent engagement with two fine tahitian ladies on a beach in bora bora (don't ask questions) and completely lost track of myself. anyway, i feel like i owe y'all something. something real nice and retro, you know, as a gift for havin to wait so long for my return. so with no further ado, i give you a little tears for fears! now if you'll excuse me, Nanihi and Miri aren't gonna massage oil onto themselves...

Hey, June! (RQOD)

take a sad song and make it better...
speaking of sad songs, drewninites, here's my random question of the day:


is it sad that a man falling victim to his man-tosterone, and having sexual experiences, is enough toget him excommunicated from public service? isn't it more sad that, based on the frequency of "man-tosteromegate" scandals, the excommunicators are likely engaging in similar acts?

drop us a comment in the drewniverse...

the president asked me to deliver a message

DARK's prayer (for those being taunted by the light)

dear lord,
for years i have walked in near constant darkness. the hardships of doubt and despair, rejection and refusal, the trial and error, self denial and indulgence in the uneasy comfort my tribulation brought me. there was a sort of honor in the single man's fight for actualization. Lord, the revelry, the relishing in it -- tempering my resolve to brilliant cut and flame polished, my steadfastness to a singularity's denseness-- i felt pride in my fight. lord, i knew, because you told me that if i walked 1000 miles toward my goal, you's carry 1000000 more. i, even during those sleepless nights where the doubt would gently rock me to wake every second tock, even when the days were wed and afternoons were breakfast fed, never once left your path. you told me to walk, lord, and i did. and i was rewarded! oh, the bounty was poured from on high: love and happiness from the one you smelted for me, and my goal, the one you sent my mother when i was young, was beset in my path. i could taste victories, luscious and wholesome, in the air, and i relaxed.

lord, the pains i went through to do everything the right way. i made the grades, i made the scores, i wandered through my desert for my 40 years. why, lord, must i be forsaken? why must my goal be thrust even further from me? the lusciousness has left the air. there is only the stench of what should have been. but lord, if your will is for me to bear this cross for a while longer, then i will walk these next 1000 miles with my head held high. if it is your will, i will walk until the air becomes luscious again

Amen

from the catacomb archives: the death of geocites / the herald underground (T.H.Ug)

check out my latest adventure with that bad-time bammy, The Groundskeeper of the The Herald Underground. i was doing... research.... more to come
from the catacomb archives: the death of geocites / the herald underground (T.H.Ug)