during one of my more recent investigations, i uncovered what appeared to be a letter of burden written by a fellow named andrew monroe. it didn't seem important to the investigation, but you never know. so here it is, and if it means anything to you please contact DIUU:
"I, ANDREW C. MONROE, BEING OF SOUND MIND AND BODY AND OF MY OWN FREE WILL DO ISSUE THIS, MY OFFICIAL LETTER OF REGRET AND REPENTANCE. I AM ASHAMED OF MYSELF AND DO BEG FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS IN THIS MATTER. FOR THE PAST SEVERAL MONTHS I HAVE BEEN LIVING IN THE CHARLOTTE AREA. IN THIS TIME O HAVE RECONNECTED WITH ZERO OF MY PAST ACQUAINTANCES, NOR HAVE I CONNECTED WITH ANYMORE NEW PEOPLE FOR CREATIVE OR PERSONAL REASONS. FOR THIS I OFFER MY DEEPEST AND MOST SOLEMN APOLOGIES. FOR THOSE WHO I SUPPORTED AND THOSE WHO I NEGLECTED TO MEET I WILL MAKE AMENDS. I DO HOPE YOU FORGIVE MY NEGLIGENCE.
SINCERELY YOURS,
ACM"
as i said, it doesn't seem pertinent to my investigation, but it could be of interest to you, oh DARKlings of mine.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
the anticipatory blog
ok, bitches, this here blog isn't real a blog at all. i know what you're thinking.... let me explain. ya see, on my previous blog (the still active, if unutilized, myspace page) there was this tradition where every year i would announce who the worlds greatest fuck-ups were. i called it the fuck-up of the year award. well, guess what bitches? i'm bringing it to DIUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! try to contain your euphoria. not sure when i'll have my list finished for last year but it should be coming soon....
ps, since the decade ended guess what else is coming? the (wait for it) FUCK-UP OF THE DECADE AWARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *gasp* spaz now if you please...
ps, since the decade ended guess what else is coming? the (wait for it) FUCK-UP OF THE DECADE AWARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *gasp* spaz now if you please...
Thursday, January 21, 2010
don't piss off conan
so what you're gonna do is click on the player and then answer this short DIUU quiz:
why shouldn't you throw rocks at conan o'briens throne if he works for you?
a) because he has bigger rocks
b) because he'll start crying in your office in front of that client you've been trying to close with
c) eleven
d) because he'll blow a fuck ton of you money on a not-very-long segment of airtime
if you answered a, b, or c, you didn't follow instructions (see me after class). in fact if you answered c you're suspended. shame on you. clearly you don't fuck with somone who can mess with your wallet! $1.5 million for like 55 seconds of air?!?! talk about rocky break-ups! remind me never to mess up anybody that can mess with my pockets, yo. cause that's what - $1.5 million? i need to sit down....
ok, so he didn't actually spend that much (he borrowed the bugatti and NBC has a deal that allows them to use music at a discount. i don't know how either) but it still was quite expensive for a minute long segment. some folks are upset that big red "chickened out" by not actually buying the car, but let's think for a minute: conan's getting a $45 million severance package. if he really spent exorbitant amounts of NBC's money during these last two shows, where do you think NBC is gonna pull it? that severance package. and i don't care how upset you are, no sane person would mess with his own money. click the title for more.
why shouldn't you throw rocks at conan o'briens throne if he works for you?
a) because he has bigger rocks
b) because he'll start crying in your office in front of that client you've been trying to close with
c) eleven
d) because he'll blow a fuck ton of you money on a not-very-long segment of airtime
if you answered a, b, or c, you didn't follow instructions (see me after class). in fact if you answered c you're suspended. shame on you. clearly you don't fuck with somone who can mess with your wallet! $1.5 million for like 55 seconds of air?!?! talk about rocky break-ups! remind me never to mess up anybody that can mess with my pockets, yo. cause that's what - $1.5 million? i need to sit down....
ok, so he didn't actually spend that much (he borrowed the bugatti and NBC has a deal that allows them to use music at a discount. i don't know how either) but it still was quite expensive for a minute long segment. some folks are upset that big red "chickened out" by not actually buying the car, but let's think for a minute: conan's getting a $45 million severance package. if he really spent exorbitant amounts of NBC's money during these last two shows, where do you think NBC is gonna pull it? that severance package. and i don't care how upset you are, no sane person would mess with his own money. click the title for more.
Monday, January 18, 2010
the heavy
yo rosé roadie luscious always keeps y'all up on the music tip, so i just had give a little love to this sweet number by The Heavy called 'sixteen'
even though i usually perfer the smoother lady-friendly melodies, i must me i had to get out of plush chair and dance around in my indigo crushed velvet suit with lavender accents on this one. click der title for their funkdafied official web-page. i'ma go take me a eucalyptus bath.
even though i usually perfer the smoother lady-friendly melodies, i must me i had to get out of plush chair and dance around in my indigo crushed velvet suit with lavender accents on this one. click der title for their funkdafied official web-page. i'ma go take me a eucalyptus bath.
Friday, January 15, 2010
sam jackson makes iphones cool
i'll be first to say that the iphone is a pretty, high tech waste of your hard earned cash, especially if you were unlucky enough to buy a of the buggy one from their initial release. you know the one that was cheaper, less buggy, and more powerful a few months later? yeah. same goes for those of you who were fool enough to download iAmRich app. remember that? your bank account does.
that said, i will also be the first to admit that their latest app may quite ossibly be the coolest thing ever. possibly even climate-change-ceasingly cool. picture this: what if you could carry the ayatollah of cool, Samuel L. Jackson, around in your pocket? i know, the sun could fall from the sky and you wouldn't so much as break a sweat with that much cool in your pocket right? well thanks to his awesomeness and the good folks apple now you can have his awesomeness in your pocket! there is this new app called iSamJackson that allows you to access to over 150 studio recorded quotes from the man himself (sorta like this soundboard, but by apple)! for more click on the title for the direct link to the article, i gotta go throw on an extra jacket to deal with the cool eminating from the computer screen. peace!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
colorism: racism 2.0
we do not live in a post racial society. the advent of Obama was not the waning of the racist moon. the traditional racial lines have not been erased. not while color still means so much to us. not while our children still associate white with right. not while dark people are taught that their defining features are ugly and unacceptable in 'polite' society. until the locks and earthen tone of the dark continent are deemed equal to the euro-centric mainstream in this world, we will never move beyond race.
Obama did not write the final chapter to america's racial story. quite the contrary, a new can of worms was opened with his election. within this can were the innate bigotries that lay dormant within the hearts and minds of the american populous. for the first time in more than four decades people had to face their own issues with race. you could feel the collective cringe of those who had to finally admit to themselves that they couldn't vote for a black man. you could taste the bile from those who swore that the was a muslim, as if praying to Allah, the God of brown men, was a negative mark. we all heard the disenfranchised howls of the birthers, who knew that the election board had mistakenly allowed a foreigner to run for president.there was even tsalk of session from the most radical of the bunch. and to think all of this venom because a black man dared excerise his constitutional right to seek the presidency. how dare he.
but recently, harry reid, the senate majority leader, gives us a good teaching moment that sums up obama's true effect on the racial discussion. reid said in so many words that america was ready to embrace a "light-skinned" black man with no "negro" dialect. you can infer that this statement means, that in the eyes of americans light is right. light colored skin is considered acceptable because it is close to white skin. this raises an important issue in the racial discussion that is too oft over looked. in this country, and indeed the world over, colorism, or the preference lighter complexions, is a more important factor than race.
in the black community it's nnot uncommon for one to hear for their whole life how much better light skin is than dark. we associate dark skin with the things the euro-centric mainstream deem ugly about our ethnicity: dark skin, 'nappy' hair, wide noses and big lips and buttocks. we associate light skin with positive aspects of the culture: fair skin, straight hair, slim builds, and success. what has happened is that all things that define the black race physically have been deemed negative by the prevailing culture. this idea leads to bigotries even within ethnic groups by deeming certain members of the group superior. it's effectiveness is compounded when the distinction is made along visible lines like appearance. it causes people to teach their children that light skin and straight hair are desirable as opposed to kinky hair and dark skin. it is a control method used by slave traders and owners in order to create mental slaves (enslave the mind and yoiu dont need shackles). it was at this time that fairer skinned slaves (born of white fathers) were called superior and allpwed to live in the big house, while the darker toned (pure african) slaves were forced to toil their days in the fields. the house slaves were more likely to gain access to education than the field slaves, compounding the idea that light skin was superior.
the sad truth is that this mental slavery that was imposed at the end of the gun barrels and whips of european slave traders was more effective than they could have imagined. to this day these slave ideals that light skin and straight hair is superior to dark skin and kinky hair have prevailed throughout the black community, and, yes, the nation as a whole. the idea that in order to succeed as a black person in this nation one must shun their african features in favor of a more european appearance and persona. we are post racial indeed.
this problem is universal, as i said. name a brown nation on earth andi can point out examples of colorism. in many asain cultures, darker skin is associated with poverty and is deemed undesirable. in some latin american nations european descendants are considered more desirable than african and native descendants. even on the african continent, the hutus and tutsi are embroiled in a centuries old dispute based on european preference.
we do not live in a post racial world. and we will not until we can accept ourselves for who were designed to be.
Obama did not write the final chapter to america's racial story. quite the contrary, a new can of worms was opened with his election. within this can were the innate bigotries that lay dormant within the hearts and minds of the american populous. for the first time in more than four decades people had to face their own issues with race. you could feel the collective cringe of those who had to finally admit to themselves that they couldn't vote for a black man. you could taste the bile from those who swore that the was a muslim, as if praying to Allah, the God of brown men, was a negative mark. we all heard the disenfranchised howls of the birthers, who knew that the election board had mistakenly allowed a foreigner to run for president.there was even tsalk of session from the most radical of the bunch. and to think all of this venom because a black man dared excerise his constitutional right to seek the presidency. how dare he.
but recently, harry reid, the senate majority leader, gives us a good teaching moment that sums up obama's true effect on the racial discussion. reid said in so many words that america was ready to embrace a "light-skinned" black man with no "negro" dialect. you can infer that this statement means, that in the eyes of americans light is right. light colored skin is considered acceptable because it is close to white skin. this raises an important issue in the racial discussion that is too oft over looked. in this country, and indeed the world over, colorism, or the preference lighter complexions, is a more important factor than race.
in the black community it's nnot uncommon for one to hear for their whole life how much better light skin is than dark. we associate dark skin with the things the euro-centric mainstream deem ugly about our ethnicity: dark skin, 'nappy' hair, wide noses and big lips and buttocks. we associate light skin with positive aspects of the culture: fair skin, straight hair, slim builds, and success. what has happened is that all things that define the black race physically have been deemed negative by the prevailing culture. this idea leads to bigotries even within ethnic groups by deeming certain members of the group superior. it's effectiveness is compounded when the distinction is made along visible lines like appearance. it causes people to teach their children that light skin and straight hair are desirable as opposed to kinky hair and dark skin. it is a control method used by slave traders and owners in order to create mental slaves (enslave the mind and yoiu dont need shackles). it was at this time that fairer skinned slaves (born of white fathers) were called superior and allpwed to live in the big house, while the darker toned (pure african) slaves were forced to toil their days in the fields. the house slaves were more likely to gain access to education than the field slaves, compounding the idea that light skin was superior.
the sad truth is that this mental slavery that was imposed at the end of the gun barrels and whips of european slave traders was more effective than they could have imagined. to this day these slave ideals that light skin and straight hair is superior to dark skin and kinky hair have prevailed throughout the black community, and, yes, the nation as a whole. the idea that in order to succeed as a black person in this nation one must shun their african features in favor of a more european appearance and persona. we are post racial indeed.
this problem is universal, as i said. name a brown nation on earth andi can point out examples of colorism. in many asain cultures, darker skin is associated with poverty and is deemed undesirable. in some latin american nations european descendants are considered more desirable than african and native descendants. even on the african continent, the hutus and tutsi are embroiled in a centuries old dispute based on european preference.
we do not live in a post racial world. and we will not until we can accept ourselves for who were designed to be.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
I AM ROOMBA CAT!
the following is the reason we at DIUU are not cat people:
this just proves our point about cats: they have a god complex. we don't trust god complexes. and this buster is like the kratos of cat god complexes, this cat thinks it's bast or something. see how it attacks the dog from atop it's chariot, devoid of provocation or mercy? like the damn british when they landed on plymouth, this cat, and all cats for that matter, just assume that all that is is theirs no matter what or who is there. see how it just assumes the roomba is it's own personal segway? stupid cats. i swear the DIUU mascot will be like a panther or something... what's that? the panther is a cat? oh, well, they suck too then. but they look cool, all sleek and black. yeah, panthers...
this just proves our point about cats: they have a god complex. we don't trust god complexes. and this buster is like the kratos of cat god complexes, this cat thinks it's bast or something. see how it attacks the dog from atop it's chariot, devoid of provocation or mercy? like the damn british when they landed on plymouth, this cat, and all cats for that matter, just assume that all that is is theirs no matter what or who is there. see how it just assumes the roomba is it's own personal segway? stupid cats. i swear the DIUU mascot will be like a panther or something... what's that? the panther is a cat? oh, well, they suck too then. but they look cool, all sleek and black. yeah, panthers...
Friday, January 8, 2010
it's official: zoe saldana is the hottest lady on this or any other planet (or moon)
so a few days ago i saw that avatar movie with sissy tang, and had my mind sufficiently blown (btw imax 3D is the only way to watch movies of that kind, but that's another show). but something had been bothering me. i thought something was wrong with me, because there was no way i was supposed to think like this. i mean it's a computer generated, motion captured blue thing... with a tail. i'm rambling. so what could have shaken me so about a fantastical indictment of western imperialism? not the damn message thats for sure. then it hit me.
neytiri, the na'vi princess (i guess she qualifies for that title) was hot.
not 'she looks like the heat is getting to her' hot, i mean like cat call, howl-at-the-moon hot.
i was bugged by this because, after all, shes 10 foot tall blue alien... with a tail. so i went through the motions in the old noggin, trying to find either a justification for this flummoxing development, or a good reason to convince myself i was tripping. but i couldn't. no matter how i colored it, neytiri was a hottie and there was no good reason why. she was a hottie, period. a 10 foot, blue, half naked, bow wielding, dynobird riding hottie. i had to ask for help, so i went to the most qualified source of souch help: twitter. i got one response from my buddy carlos, "@DrewEveryday Absolutely not! Zoe Saldana is sexy all the time... animated or not" then it hit me like hot grits on al green's forehead: it wasn't that neytiri was so damn hot, it was that zoe saldana's hotitude (trademark) permeated through her azure facade! i was relieved! i wasn't secretly a furry! i was just a guy who appreciated beauty!
so i, the only one of these DIUU staffers that really matters, the man of every hour himself, drew everyday, have decided that zoe saldana has usurped previous winner freida pinto (latika, 'slumdog millionaire') as the worlds hottest woman, because aynybody can look good as a human, but it takes a special kind of hottie to pull off blue alien w/ tail hottieness. so here w/o further ado, is the photo tribute to the hottest thing in the cosmos, zoe saldana!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
first donut of the year: song of the decade so far?
it's your chocolate cough drop, luscious here with the first blog of the new year. i thought i'd start the new decade the way i ended the last (i know, i know). so we at DIUU present the song of the teens! well i don't know if the song is that good, but the title is flippin' epic! seriously. i'm almost shocked that there wasn't a song called "let them hoes fight" about hoes that someone is allowing to fight before! so enjoy! or not, whatever... luscious out!
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