it's your mistletoe nympho, luscious, spreading a little hot buttered holiday cheer all over your hot cross christmas buns. as my gift to you i went out, in my finest peruvian alpaca sweater, to the deepest depths of the interweb. i came from that with another luscious nog of awesome. time to curl up under your handwoven quilt next to a wood fire with a nice spiced holiday drink. without further ado, my gift to you.... unforgivable
Friday, December 24, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
twofer!
keeping with the theme, doesn't josh hartnett look like what young tommy lee jones would have looked like,you know, if young tommy lee jones wasn't such a head crackin, ivy league football playing (when that meant something) bad ass?
young tommy lee jones
young tommy lee jones
random Q of the D
doesn't WWE wrestler sheamus look strikingly similar to another semi-famous ginger: minor villain Cpt. Walker D. Plank from obscure 90's cartoon James Bond Jr.?
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Bonus RQOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
with his access to the hopes, interests, and trends that drive the future of the global socioeconomic landscape, is mark zuckerberg the most powerful man in the world?
return of the RQOD
DARKlings, i have a twofer today:
am i the only one who thinks that education should be apolitical?
with this run to the fringes, is it time for the republican party to go the way of the whigs?
am i the only one who thinks that education should be apolitical?
with this run to the fringes, is it time for the republican party to go the way of the whigs?
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
2 sided coin
it's your carolina chocolate drop, luscious, back from a well deserved island vacay with an interesting twist on your life enrichment. as i was skimming the interweb looking for some new exciting treats for you, i came acroos not one, but two interesting things. one was some cee-lo "i always keep it clean" green, the other was a squeaky grimey christian rapper incredibly named bizzle. take a listen:
mmmmmm, i believe my comrade, Drew Everyday said it best on his twitter page, "i don't usually get down with "christian rap", but ill is ill, and #bizzle got spit #nobonesaboutit"
almost completely opposite from the tone of our man bizzle's ditty, Cee-lo "lean mean" green offers another uniquely real musical diatribe, aptly titled "fuck you":
two very different songs with very different messages, but two examples of how good music and lyricism can enrich your lives, even if only for the few minutes they're in your ears. now if you'll excuse me, this seaweed wrap isn't going to happen by itself....
mmmmmm, i believe my comrade, Drew Everyday said it best on his twitter page, "i don't usually get down with "christian rap", but ill is ill, and #bizzle got spit #nobonesaboutit"
almost completely opposite from the tone of our man bizzle's ditty, Cee-lo "lean mean" green offers another uniquely real musical diatribe, aptly titled "fuck you":
two very different songs with very different messages, but two examples of how good music and lyricism can enrich your lives, even if only for the few minutes they're in your ears. now if you'll excuse me, this seaweed wrap isn't going to happen by itself....
Sunday, September 5, 2010
two for one: "sorry 4 august" day!
Paradigm shift
As a tree loses it’s leaves in mid july
Sun-baked, deprived of nutrients, and water-parched
He, too, begins his slow descent
They depend on each other, the tree and he
The tree, a child in arms, needs the constant care of he
To shoo the pests that would swarm
And feed the soil that does sustain it
He, in turn, is sustained by the fruits of its branch
Nourishing his will to soar
Basking in the arboreal splendor
Shaded from the ultraviolet death rays
the very same that, his protector, feed
leaves hit blades, green tears from its wooden glance
fuel to the ground that now holds it in a strangle
leaves hit blades, dry scabs flaking from its frail phalanges
baked golden brown and delicious by the sun, once food itself
unable to cry for its protector
unable to reach its massive arm, once flourishing, out to he that suckled
and ate from its branch
and basked in its arboreal splendor
perfect symbiosis
now he, no longer fearful of impact
no longer slave to the verdant safety dome
dives with abandon into the brilliant blue
no wing to fly, nor net to fall
an odd thing happens to those faithful leapers
when they abandon reservation
when they conquer doubt
when they discover their own ‘fuck it’ and just jump
eyes wide open into the azure unknown
believing when they are splayed on the awaiting blades
is when discovery and affirmation will reassemble the mess
and this, this will be that which they were always meant
they don’t all plummet.
He glides, slowly and steady as cardiac rhythm
Fueled by the sunburn, now his back
Cheshire expressions as he looks down on his tether and guard
As a tree loses it’s leaves in mid july
Sun-baked, deprived of nutrients, and water-parched
He, too, begins his slow descent
They depend on each other, the tree and he
The tree, a child in arms, needs the constant care of he
To shoo the pests that would swarm
And feed the soil that does sustain it
He, in turn, is sustained by the fruits of its branch
Nourishing his will to soar
Basking in the arboreal splendor
Shaded from the ultraviolet death rays
the very same that, his protector, feed
leaves hit blades, green tears from its wooden glance
fuel to the ground that now holds it in a strangle
leaves hit blades, dry scabs flaking from its frail phalanges
baked golden brown and delicious by the sun, once food itself
unable to cry for its protector
unable to reach its massive arm, once flourishing, out to he that suckled
and ate from its branch
and basked in its arboreal splendor
perfect symbiosis
now he, no longer fearful of impact
no longer slave to the verdant safety dome
dives with abandon into the brilliant blue
no wing to fly, nor net to fall
an odd thing happens to those faithful leapers
when they abandon reservation
when they conquer doubt
when they discover their own ‘fuck it’ and just jump
eyes wide open into the azure unknown
believing when they are splayed on the awaiting blades
is when discovery and affirmation will reassemble the mess
and this, this will be that which they were always meant
they don’t all plummet.
He glides, slowly and steady as cardiac rhythm
Fueled by the sunburn, now his back
Cheshire expressions as he looks down on his tether and guard
because we shunned august
i thought i'd make it up with something.... creativish....
FEAR
Sixteen was wrong.
Driving isn’t as much the ultimate expression of
youthful freedom for the modern American teen
as it is the ultimate vice of the modern American
adult
Driving alone down a bright
and bustling midday interstate highway,
the mind is ripe with thoughts
of men and women on the trip back from weekend furlough.
Prison
War
Work.
The American dream in Technicolo
friends
welcome to Pleasantville, population we.
We are the lucky few who can feed our vices.
We men of war
we drones
we inmates of societal norm.
we are they by which the gears turn and the cogs
cog.
Let us not forget our fallen comrades.
Those poor unfortunate souls
with their carless nature
and their work-free environment
and their undrafted and non-enlisted existence.
They are the forgotten.
Let us not be the proliferators of this injustice.
To the point at hands
friends
we are not the huddled masses of old.
We are not the huddled masses of old.
We are not the huddled masses of old.
Driving has become mass hypnosis
and we’re all chickens.
We all stay inside the invisible barriers
all the while keeping an eye
for the watchmen.
We mind our speed
thanks in part to the roadside dampeners
zapping our automotive power to the necessary levels
with varied success.
We are mostly powerless against the
omnipotent gatekeepers
waiting for the life giving light of the
bottom face to allow our passage
if only for a preordained period.
On we drive
away from our lives
and back to our lawn care
our 401-k
our mortgage payments
our college loans
our desk job.
Cell walls
tri-faceted and un-flapping
caged in with desk plants
and blue tinted monitors.
Heavens shine countenance down in all its
fluorescent glory.
Fiber glass covered quadrangles
thoughtfully placed
one square separating on both ends
and two across from the next row.
The soothing matrix of the false ceiling
reflects subtly mocking of your life.
So this is the stuff of your dreams:
a steady paycheck
benefits -- dental included
two point five kids, a picket fence
and a well manicured lawn.
In all, a saccharine sweet Rockwell
hanging on the walls of your life.
And a dog.
FEAR
Sixteen was wrong.
Driving isn’t as much the ultimate expression of
youthful freedom for the modern American teen
as it is the ultimate vice of the modern American
adult
Driving alone down a bright
and bustling midday interstate highway,
the mind is ripe with thoughts
of men and women on the trip back from weekend furlough.
Prison
War
Work.
The American dream in Technicolo
friends
welcome to Pleasantville, population we.
We are the lucky few who can feed our vices.
We men of war
we drones
we inmates of societal norm.
we are they by which the gears turn and the cogs
cog.
Let us not forget our fallen comrades.
Those poor unfortunate souls
with their carless nature
and their work-free environment
and their undrafted and non-enlisted existence.
They are the forgotten.
Let us not be the proliferators of this injustice.
To the point at hands
friends
we are not the huddled masses of old.
We are not the huddled masses of old.
We are not the huddled masses of old.
Driving has become mass hypnosis
and we’re all chickens.
We all stay inside the invisible barriers
all the while keeping an eye
for the watchmen.
We mind our speed
thanks in part to the roadside dampeners
zapping our automotive power to the necessary levels
with varied success.
We are mostly powerless against the
omnipotent gatekeepers
waiting for the life giving light of the
bottom face to allow our passage
if only for a preordained period.
On we drive
away from our lives
and back to our lawn care
our 401-k
our mortgage payments
our college loans
our desk job.
Cell walls
tri-faceted and un-flapping
caged in with desk plants
and blue tinted monitors.
Heavens shine countenance down in all its
fluorescent glory.
Fiber glass covered quadrangles
thoughtfully placed
one square separating on both ends
and two across from the next row.
The soothing matrix of the false ceiling
reflects subtly mocking of your life.
So this is the stuff of your dreams:
a steady paycheck
benefits -- dental included
two point five kids, a picket fence
and a well manicured lawn.
In all, a saccharine sweet Rockwell
hanging on the walls of your life.
And a dog.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Monday, July 5, 2010
clear black seas
live feed after the jump.
Tar balls’ toxic, CNN watchin’
MSNBC is on the topic
FOX news dally on Barry O. as if he start it
Headline News steady talkin’
All this time nobody’s doing anything real to stop it
Burn the top off, but ain’t soppin’ from the bottom
BP, a customer, you’ve lost him
Never going back, that’s a promise
Tip toeing around the real problem
Solder up the hole, get the hay out
Time to clean up the water
There are
Many other effective
And green options
Chemical dispersants have failed
And constant exposure to the water
Kills the flora and the fauna
Dead zones poppin’ up
Dolphins, whales, fish dyin’, with the belly up
In the O2 depleted gulf, swimming through a petri cup
When it hits the coastline that’s a different story
Globules’ washing up already
Unfortunately the storm hit and as the fan with the shit
Spread the mess expanded the cesspit
The sputtering relief efforts furthered in it’s descent
With the british pilot fightin’ sleep in the cockpit
And the main engine still leakin’ fluid
R2 unit on the wing with no toolkit
Just rub some dirt on the wound, that’ll do it
That kinda talkin? Golf ball garbage
Man,
Tryna plug the hole with golf balls, garbage, sand
Disregard what’s in charge on the wetlands
A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the muck
Clean ‘em up with the dish soap
Those that ain’t croak
Not to mention the boats that can’t fish for the oyster shrimp
If hope floats send them a boat load
2 months in with no end in sight
Ready to plug the hole with the pinchin’
Not to mention ready to not pay the compensation
To end folks plight, an imitation of right
Tar balls toxic, marred in the politics
Tryna pass the buck like a dollar tip
Oceanic’s are nonpartisan even if the hearts of men
Are turned off to Neptune hollerin’
“save me, save me!!”
Gulf on their knees prayin’, “lord why we?”
1st katrina, then gustav, BP
Andrew had the panhandle rattled back in 93
Back in 92 touched land with the blind speed
Nowadays disasters man made with the blimey
The clock’s tickin’
No time to be sittin’ on our hands, wishin’
For a miracle, we gotta make it happen
HEAL THE GULF!
Sunday, July 4, 2010
american history 3010
we live in a consumer culture. the byproduct of our culture is that we demand our products and services to be provided as quickly and inexpensively as possible. in return, producers choose their methods in order to maximize the amount of a product that demand entails. in many industries this means turning to the latest technological advances, streamlining production to an efficiency unattainable with manual labor alone. in others it means perfecting a tried and true method. when the system works it leads to innovations that catapult an industry into the future. unfortunately, sometimes the product itself can hold an society back. one product that exemplifies this problem is energy, or specifically, energy production. though technology has advanced exponentially in the past 100 years, the way we power it has remained largely the same. coal, which has been used for hundreds of years to provide heat and power is still the most widely used power source in the nation. petrol, another post-centennial fossil fuel, is still the standard for powering automotive, aeronautical, and marine vehicles. despite their effectiveness, the side effects of their use outweigh the benefits. though there is ample research to suggest that the burning of fossil fuels is causing considerable damage to the atmosphere, new technologies have been slow to develop or be adopted by the industry. it is also a well known fact that fossil fuels are a finite resource. knowing this, fossil fuel producers have been inclined to steadily raise prices to compensate for the diminishing supply. when one considers that alternative energy sources have been in development since the 1950s, and have existed in principle since the early 19th century, it's safe to assume that future generations will view our willingness to accept such an archaic and inefficient practice with bewilderment.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
life after the cup: to the Americans
i'm sorry y'all. i know i'm usually raspberry red with passion and mango sweet with the juicy life enriching goodness. but i've been raspberry blue lately. see, i called in a few favors and rented out a pent house with lions and tigers in cages lined with ghana jerseys. i had my main man diddy bring all his friends over. i had usher give a live performance. i even shanghi'd the entire russian ballet bruce wayne style.now, for what would i go to such lengths for, you ask? you normally wouldn't risk a perfectly manicured finger for anything last than a major international, multicultural phenomenon! well, if you were paying attention (and if you were, here's a cookie!) you would have picked up on the ghana jersey lined animal cages i mentioned earlier. that would have clued you in to the nature of my extravaganza (if you read the title, here's a dollar! so you can buy yourself a cookie!) i got a baaad case of the us-soccer-lost-to-ghana-again-and-is-now-out-of-the-world-cup-...-again blues. where's little walter when you need him? well, despite the fact that no blues artist ever made a song about soccer (well, there IS this nice zydeco infused nawlins offering)yours truly reclaimed his status as the henny topped lemon drop thanks to the uplifting words in this song, and i think our red, white and blue boys just might take comfort in it, too.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
the reason why we sing
as your DARK leader, i am required to occasionally provide you, the DARKling, with a small token of my apreciation. this usually comes in the form of some brief piece of unabridged awesomeness i haphazardly happened upon in my many travels. well, the following may just be the most unabridged piece of unabridged awesomeness ever to come from a subsidiary of an evil multibillion dollar multinational entertainment conglomerate. behold:
Friday, June 18, 2010
kobe dissenters unite!
before i begin let me make one thing clear: i ain't a hater. i've never been a hater. in fact i'm not even one hundred percent the term "hater" is defined in the drew-ctionary. if you happen to be a hater, please refrain from commenting on or reading this particular rant.
with that said, KOBE BEAN BRYANT IS A FESTIZIO AND A MANGINA! not for winning all the time, or having extramarital relations, or doing it again, or running the diesel out of LA, or getting his chin checked by chris childs, or opting not to be a part of the US basketball team that nearly buried US basketball, causing the gulf oil spill (among other things), shooting JR, etc. no, those are simply facts about the mans actions, and drew doesn't hold people responsible for their past. Kobe is an asshole because... HE'S AN ASSHOLE! it's his personality, his ego that get's him onto the permanent DIUU shit list. it's because of what he did as a high school phenom on draft day. now, the man of every hour makes no secret that he was born and reared in the greatest city on earth: Charlotte, NC! for those of you born after 2000, you may not know that we once had a basketball team in Charlotte, you may know them as the "gag me with a spoon" New Orleans Hornets. well way back in the dark ages (1996 if memory serves) the then Charlotte Hornets were set to select with the 11th, 12th, or 13th pick in the NBA draft.
then again, '96 was AWESOME
well, there was this high school phenom named for a dish at a japanese steak house, and the Hornets decided that they were going to use their lottery pick on him. apparently, an entity within the organization that you've dreamed of and worked your whole life to be in that is willing to bet their future on you wasn't good enough for him... because the city wasn't big enough. this ass hat straight dissed the team in my city because it wasn't new york or LA! for that, i will never be able to support him. even if i can concede that he is the greatest basketballer in the world, which i can and do, he will never have the drew everyday, nor will he get the DIUU seal of approval. so take those five rings and stick em where you ish from, mamba!
and here's video of kobe getting his chin checked by chris childs:
Kobe Bryant and Chris Childs Fight
don8yourhrtlikeOMG!!!!!bro-dylan | MySpace Video
with that said, KOBE BEAN BRYANT IS A FESTIZIO AND A MANGINA! not for winning all the time, or having extramarital relations, or doing it again, or running the diesel out of LA, or getting his chin checked by chris childs, or opting not to be a part of the US basketball team that nearly buried US basketball, causing the gulf oil spill (among other things), shooting JR, etc. no, those are simply facts about the mans actions, and drew doesn't hold people responsible for their past. Kobe is an asshole because... HE'S AN ASSHOLE! it's his personality, his ego that get's him onto the permanent DIUU shit list. it's because of what he did as a high school phenom on draft day. now, the man of every hour makes no secret that he was born and reared in the greatest city on earth: Charlotte, NC! for those of you born after 2000, you may not know that we once had a basketball team in Charlotte, you may know them as the "gag me with a spoon" New Orleans Hornets. well way back in the dark ages (1996 if memory serves) the then Charlotte Hornets were set to select with the 11th, 12th, or 13th pick in the NBA draft.
then again, '96 was AWESOME
well, there was this high school phenom named for a dish at a japanese steak house, and the Hornets decided that they were going to use their lottery pick on him. apparently, an entity within the organization that you've dreamed of and worked your whole life to be in that is willing to bet their future on you wasn't good enough for him... because the city wasn't big enough. this ass hat straight dissed the team in my city because it wasn't new york or LA! for that, i will never be able to support him. even if i can concede that he is the greatest basketballer in the world, which i can and do, he will never have the drew everyday, nor will he get the DIUU seal of approval. so take those five rings and stick em where you ish from, mamba!
and here's video of kobe getting his chin checked by chris childs:
Kobe Bryant and Chris Childs Fight
don8yourhrtlikeOMG!!!!!bro-dylan | MySpace Video
Monday, June 14, 2010
whispers me to sleep
summer rains are some of my favorite things ever! they arrise so suddenly and often with little warning, leave their mark on the land and then vanish without leaving much of a trace behind. they remind me of mini flings, the kind that are sweet for a few weeks and then end amicably, the ones that you look back on when you're 80 and say, "what a gal, what a gal..." while you're grand kids wonder why they never had a fling like that. so rain on, monday, rain on...
Sunday, June 6, 2010
question du jour ala radsom
if you were to take every NBA championship team and put them in a tournament to determine the ultimate champion, who takes it all?
my money's on these guys....
or any team with this guy:
my money's on these guys....
or any team with this guy:
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Monday, May 31, 2010
what dreams may come
the melony sweet heavenly peep is back! luscious here with another life affirming '80s jam to brightening your otherwise blah day.just because luscious never sleeps, usually thanks to some succulent little young tender ronie, doesn't mean i don't want you to curl up on some crushed velvet and satin sheets for a few "sweet dreams". so i present to you the eurythmics!
Monday, May 24, 2010
love & why i can never go to the beach again
i'm in love.
i admit it. there is no denying it. it's written, and so shall it be.
i'm in love *with a stripper?* no, T-Pain, SHUT UP! it's not with a stripper. i fell in love *with a girl?* NO, Jack White of The White Stripes, SHUT UP!! it's not with a girl. *dude, yes it is, isn't it?* SHUT UP, YouTube's The Third Mind Channel, YOU WERE DROPPED AS A BABY!!! *let him finish!* thank you, Host of Cable's 'Hardball with Chris Matthews', Chris Matthews.
love, as we all know, is complicated. it doesn't have one stone set definition. it pertains to multiple situations, divergent ones, even. situations that have no correlation other than love. for example, i love sushi, could it eat every meal of every day for the rest of my life. i also love football, but i'll be damned if i ever wear the shoulder pads and cleats again. i'm indifferent to sushi. you can have whatever opinion you want on it, it doesn't bother me. if i don't eat sushi for an extended period of time life goes on, it doesn't bother me (whoa.. deja vu). but i love it. on the other hand, i'll fight you to the bitter end over an ill sentiment towards football. in the fall i plan my week around my teams schedule. i follow the off-season patterns of my favorite teams and players. i write entire blog posts over a single play in a regular season game (right here, see?) were i but born a european, i'd no doubt be a bit of a hooligan, but i guess we'd be talking about futbol then, wouldn't we? but i love it (there it is again...).
it's, again, different when the object of your affection is sentient. you see i love my sibs, but in a different way than i love my folks, who i don't love in the same way i love the extended fam. i've loved a girl or two (three to be exact) in my day, all in different ways, all from the same place(s) in my heart, mind, body, soul (you know, r&b record regions). i love my friends, again all from similar areas yet in different ways.
that leads me to the reason for this blilz-nizzog: i'm in love with ... (no interruptions, interesting) the place i'm in when i'm around good friends in gorgeous (and by gorgeous i mean 'away from the watchful eyes of home and the burdens of real life') settings. that's why i'll never.... EEEEEVVVEEERR set foot in a beach town again. think about it: when do you beach it up? when you're on vacay. who do you vacay with at 23? unless you're married (and why would you be?) you're going with your friends, and they're damn sure good ones. this combination of dearly beloved and freedom puts me in a really nice place. it puts me in a carefree, top-of-the-world, "nothing can possibly be better than this moment right here" kinda place. the place that, provided this were a utopia, i'd always be in. i am unashamed to admit that i CRAVE that. nothing would make me as content in life than constantly having this feeling. i am completely, unflinchingly, head-over-heels with being in that place. i will probably spend my remaining days working to myself and whoever i'm to be fortunate enough to have in my life at the time in a state of perpetual that. i love it. i need it. i can't not have it. that place, for me, is as good as it gets in this soul cracking world of hours, this spirit crushing planet we call home. you find that place of perpetual optimism and ease, you've found your place. i was in that place a few short weeks ago w/ the LS crew, at the f'n beach. i was there, again with LS, the previous week playing paintball. i was there some months back with the fellas, when we went to see Cudi and N.E.R.D. play Duke. i was there about a year ago, the last time i was an undergraduate, living in durham. i haven't been there since. i haven't been there in Charlotte, not since i became a high school graduate.
i've been in a funk, a haze that, for the life of me, i can't seem to shake. ever since i left the beach that monday morning, leaving the honest to goodness final experience of young Andrew, i haven't been able to find that same optimism. sure, good things present themselves, opportunities to do life affirming shit elsewhere in the world have come available. but there's that looming since of, "that was it. the last hurrah with those peeps. time to start over again from square one." certainly other issues have added to my present malaise, Joe knows what i'm talking about, and no, you can't ask him. but this fact remains: you bums, you miscreants, you misguided beacons of the HBCU counter culture, you fellas, you ladies, you clique members, you salsa dancers, old friends, new friends, high school stalwarts, young bucks, fellow old heads, fearless leaders, former partners, you former love interests, apples of my eye, objects of my desire, you nerds and gamers, you ball players and workout buddies, you music lovers and band mates, you co-pilots and wingmen, you drunkies and drinking partners, those of you who remember the damn van, those of you who knew the gray car before the accident, those of you who practiced at masondale, those of you who drank with me at abercromby, those who invaded chapel hill, who saw the inside of visions, players, avalon, those who got kicked out of campus crossing with me, those who crashed on my couch in eagle landing, those who have invited me to crash on their couches, and even those who haven't:
i love you.
for every moment you put me in THAT place.
i just thought you jerks should know that.
ps,
SHUT UP! your mom likes balls...
i admit it. there is no denying it. it's written, and so shall it be.
i'm in love *with a stripper?* no, T-Pain, SHUT UP! it's not with a stripper. i fell in love *with a girl?* NO, Jack White of The White Stripes, SHUT UP!! it's not with a girl. *dude, yes it is, isn't it?* SHUT UP, YouTube's The Third Mind Channel, YOU WERE DROPPED AS A BABY!!! *let him finish!* thank you, Host of Cable's 'Hardball with Chris Matthews', Chris Matthews.
love, as we all know, is complicated. it doesn't have one stone set definition. it pertains to multiple situations, divergent ones, even. situations that have no correlation other than love. for example, i love sushi, could it eat every meal of every day for the rest of my life. i also love football, but i'll be damned if i ever wear the shoulder pads and cleats again. i'm indifferent to sushi. you can have whatever opinion you want on it, it doesn't bother me. if i don't eat sushi for an extended period of time life goes on, it doesn't bother me (whoa.. deja vu). but i love it. on the other hand, i'll fight you to the bitter end over an ill sentiment towards football. in the fall i plan my week around my teams schedule. i follow the off-season patterns of my favorite teams and players. i write entire blog posts over a single play in a regular season game (right here, see?) were i but born a european, i'd no doubt be a bit of a hooligan, but i guess we'd be talking about futbol then, wouldn't we? but i love it (there it is again...).
it's, again, different when the object of your affection is sentient. you see i love my sibs, but in a different way than i love my folks, who i don't love in the same way i love the extended fam. i've loved a girl or two (three to be exact) in my day, all in different ways, all from the same place(s) in my heart, mind, body, soul (you know, r&b record regions). i love my friends, again all from similar areas yet in different ways.
that leads me to the reason for this blilz-nizzog: i'm in love with ... (no interruptions, interesting) the place i'm in when i'm around good friends in gorgeous (and by gorgeous i mean 'away from the watchful eyes of home and the burdens of real life') settings. that's why i'll never.... EEEEEVVVEEERR set foot in a beach town again. think about it: when do you beach it up? when you're on vacay. who do you vacay with at 23? unless you're married (and why would you be?) you're going with your friends, and they're damn sure good ones. this combination of dearly beloved and freedom puts me in a really nice place. it puts me in a carefree, top-of-the-world, "nothing can possibly be better than this moment right here" kinda place. the place that, provided this were a utopia, i'd always be in. i am unashamed to admit that i CRAVE that. nothing would make me as content in life than constantly having this feeling. i am completely, unflinchingly, head-over-heels with being in that place. i will probably spend my remaining days working to myself and whoever i'm to be fortunate enough to have in my life at the time in a state of perpetual that. i love it. i need it. i can't not have it. that place, for me, is as good as it gets in this soul cracking world of hours, this spirit crushing planet we call home. you find that place of perpetual optimism and ease, you've found your place. i was in that place a few short weeks ago w/ the LS crew, at the f'n beach. i was there, again with LS, the previous week playing paintball. i was there some months back with the fellas, when we went to see Cudi and N.E.R.D. play Duke. i was there about a year ago, the last time i was an undergraduate, living in durham. i haven't been there since. i haven't been there in Charlotte, not since i became a high school graduate.
i've been in a funk, a haze that, for the life of me, i can't seem to shake. ever since i left the beach that monday morning, leaving the honest to goodness final experience of young Andrew, i haven't been able to find that same optimism. sure, good things present themselves, opportunities to do life affirming shit elsewhere in the world have come available. but there's that looming since of, "that was it. the last hurrah with those peeps. time to start over again from square one." certainly other issues have added to my present malaise, Joe knows what i'm talking about, and no, you can't ask him. but this fact remains: you bums, you miscreants, you misguided beacons of the HBCU counter culture, you fellas, you ladies, you clique members, you salsa dancers, old friends, new friends, high school stalwarts, young bucks, fellow old heads, fearless leaders, former partners, you former love interests, apples of my eye, objects of my desire, you nerds and gamers, you ball players and workout buddies, you music lovers and band mates, you co-pilots and wingmen, you drunkies and drinking partners, those of you who remember the damn van, those of you who knew the gray car before the accident, those of you who practiced at masondale, those of you who drank with me at abercromby, those who invaded chapel hill, who saw the inside of visions, players, avalon, those who got kicked out of campus crossing with me, those who crashed on my couch in eagle landing, those who have invited me to crash on their couches, and even those who haven't:
i love you.
for every moment you put me in THAT place.
i just thought you jerks should know that.
ps,
SHUT UP! your mom likes balls...
Friday, May 7, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
pregunta al azar del día
with Guru on the other side (RIP) and Black Thought on late night tv, how long will it be before hip hop really is dead?
Thursday, April 15, 2010
RIP: Spider "Long Legs" Webster 20??-2010
oh, faithful readers, this is a sad day. we have lost one of the silent defenders of our hominid realm against the invading insectoid hoard. as i, DARK, was showering post-training a series of events occurred that circumstantially led to the untimely demise of the great arachnoid hero, Spider "Long Legs" Webster. as i retracted the shower curtain i noticed a small object fall to the shower floor. i realized it was too massive and, well, alive to be a rogue hair, so i searched the area and found our hero fighting valiantly against the barrage of pressurized and artificially heated water plummeting from a source unknown to him. perhaps some vengeful god had marked him for death. perhaps clouds can form indoors and rain on you. how should he know? he's a spider! well despite the tempest surrounding him, he managed to claw his way to apparent safety. i, seeing his will to live, decided to move from his path, because i was unaware what he would've needed to do to live, but i knew what he was gonna do: live. and god help whoever was trying to prevent him from doing it! alas, in my act of self preservation i bumped an old bottle of hippie conditioner. this sent the bottle plummeting. i imagine that at this time, everything was moving in slow motion for Spider: focused and valiant, our hero fights the torrent, his situation seems ever more futile with each passing moment, yet his arachnid resolve growing with each ill-fated swipe of the leg. only now, with survival tantalizingly close does he look up and notice the white and orange monolith to human vanity descending upon him. ever the spider's spider in life, i imagine that at this point he looked down, smiled and said something profound and affirming under his breath, and like bill murray at the end of 'lost in translation', i'm certain it was just right. (under the same circumstances, my offering would have been more like this). our hero Spider Webster, lost his life in a moment of such serendipitous awesome that i had no choice but to immortalize him on this blog. that picture at he beginning of this eulogy of sorts is of his final resting place upon the label of the monolith (kubrickian innit?) my, friends, the awesome sauceness and tragedy of his passing is outshined only by the excellent life he lived. a veteran of the arachno-hornet war, he made his name by webbing and draining over 30 hornets during the famed battle of 2 houses down and 1 street over. he was awarded the spidra medal of valor, the arachnid equivalent to the human medal of honor. after his honorable discharge, he retired to my bathroom, where his awesomeness continued. he has left hundreds of would be pests hollow and digested in his wake thus earning the repuation of being the pestcide with a pulse of the DARKlair. his contributions to my non-bug prblem cannot be overstated and he shall be sorely missed. so rest in peace, Spider "Long Legs" Webster. you're controlling God's pest problem now!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
so tell me, who's mad world would you wanna live in?
the tears for fears edition?
or gary jules' version?
the man of every hour is a fan of originals, so for my money i'm rockin with the tears for fears boys. but both versions have their merits. you've probably heard the jules version more, and it ain't unusual for a remake to surpass the original in popularity. but that doesn't auto-magically make juley's version superior. it's quite rare for a remake to trump the original in quality, but not unheard of (the modest mouse remake of 'float on' comes to mind). still, theses two are coming from such different worlds it''s impossile to determine which is better. guess it's up to the listener. let me now in the comment section, bitches!
then again, this kiwi may have it all figured out...
or gary jules' version?
the man of every hour is a fan of originals, so for my money i'm rockin with the tears for fears boys. but both versions have their merits. you've probably heard the jules version more, and it ain't unusual for a remake to surpass the original in popularity. but that doesn't auto-magically make juley's version superior. it's quite rare for a remake to trump the original in quality, but not unheard of (the modest mouse remake of 'float on' comes to mind). still, theses two are coming from such different worlds it''s impossile to determine which is better. guess it's up to the listener. let me now in the comment section, bitches!
then again, this kiwi may have it all figured out...
Sunday, April 11, 2010
life enriching material from your friends at diuu
i know your big wheel of sex appeal doesn't usually lay down hot buttered goodness on you in such short succession. i know it's even more rare for the deacon of deliciousness to erect two pillars of life enriching eFarfegnugen two days in a row. but baby girls, i have no choice. it's my pleasure to present to you satin wrapped orange dreamsicle, this lace front yakki vid, this sugar coated eye pastry, this, this... oh just watch. men without hats. safety. dance. now if you excuse me, i'm gonna go exfoliate. enjoy!
the holy grail
lAWD LAWD LAWD, ladies, your banana nut love muffin, luscious, has a very special announcement just for y'all. well, i guess you can bring your mens with you, too. that's right, this thing i have for you this evening is more important than a champagne filled hot tub with two sexy brazillian ladies. it's hotter than a chai mint latte with just a hint of raspberry. it's more luxurious than a seaweed wrap after a milk bath. it's more incredible than a rosemary and lemon oil rub down on a persian rug in your villa on the riviera with the venetian blinds up so you can smell the fresh croissant perfumed air. baby, i have found the holy grail of eVid's for y'alls viewing pleasure. i've found, now brace yourself and try not to scream to loud, but i have found... the gat damn JUGGERNAUT BITCH!!!! whoo, this is to much for me! if you'll excuse me, imma take me a tea tree oil shower and lay down on my goose down pillow with the silk sheets and burn some of this black love. y'all enjoy!
Saturday, April 10, 2010
random question of the day
oh, dear readers, i have to ask you something: doesn't "nazi pope" sound like a captain america villain
or a skin head death metal band?
then why do we have one?
or a skin head death metal band?
then why do we have one?
Thursday, April 8, 2010
souls of misconduct
i have a confession to make: i don't have any important message to deliver. sorry i mislead you. my conduct has been unbecoming of a masked avenger, which i am. in fact i must drop character for a moment to speak to you as the man behind the mask. as recently as yesterday, i was the guy you all know and love, or at least a good bit of you knew and loved, but on the ride back from where i was, i had what alcoholics refer to as a moment of clarity. i realized just how unsatisfied i was with living this way. i don't have my own space, i don't have any friends nearby and i neglect the one true friend that is accessible to me. and, as it turns out, she hasn't been honest with me, but that's neither here nor there. the truth is i am terrified about what lies ahead for me. i still, STILL don't know where or even if i'm going to be in school in the next few months. how wild is that? i STILL don't know the most important bit of info about my future. and ladies and gentleman, that pretty much sums things up right now. that cold bitter fear of the unknown has crept back into my life.
it reminds me of my childhood, see back then i was afraid of the dark. in fact i wouldn't move, speak, or even open my eyes in a dark room for fear that the imaginary 'it' would be waiting just ahead of me to do something unspeakable if i moved or made a noise. and that 'it' has become 'life', and that 'life' has been stripped down to it's most notorious components: I-F. and, no, snoopy ain't flying down to save me from this red baron. i realized during that car ride that the 'it' of my childhood follies had become the 'if' that life throws at us all. while many of my friends and associates have taken that if by the neck and wrestled it back to life, i just haven't been able to. hell, i'm scared to. if i fail to bring if back to life, then i have a bachelors degree and am, to quote a younger me, "d0omed to the cubicle to feed my legacy". if i succeed then i'm on my way to law school in durham, LA, or NYC, and then i'm a lawyer, and i'm fucking trapped by my title and my practices location. i'm an angelino, new yorker, or carolinian, period, pencils down, pass in the test. THIS IS AN IRRATIONAL FEAR! success is the 'it' lurking in the dark, and i can't move, can't even open my eyes to behold it!
so during this moment of clarity, a query was about me. i asked myself "drew, what do you love?" and the answer was clear. i love the college atmosphere, and no sooner had the thought completed itself than i realized i was wrong. i'm not afraid of the fail/succeed conundrum, the bogeyman is boredom! i feel like i'm leaving the best years behind me without having fully realized them, and now it's work and taxes. even once i get into law school, 3 years and it's work and taxes. sorry but, that won't fly with me.
it reminds me of my childhood, see back then i was afraid of the dark. in fact i wouldn't move, speak, or even open my eyes in a dark room for fear that the imaginary 'it' would be waiting just ahead of me to do something unspeakable if i moved or made a noise. and that 'it' has become 'life', and that 'life' has been stripped down to it's most notorious components: I-F. and, no, snoopy ain't flying down to save me from this red baron. i realized during that car ride that the 'it' of my childhood follies had become the 'if' that life throws at us all. while many of my friends and associates have taken that if by the neck and wrestled it back to life, i just haven't been able to. hell, i'm scared to. if i fail to bring if back to life, then i have a bachelors degree and am, to quote a younger me, "d0omed to the cubicle to feed my legacy". if i succeed then i'm on my way to law school in durham, LA, or NYC, and then i'm a lawyer, and i'm fucking trapped by my title and my practices location. i'm an angelino, new yorker, or carolinian, period, pencils down, pass in the test. THIS IS AN IRRATIONAL FEAR! success is the 'it' lurking in the dark, and i can't move, can't even open my eyes to behold it!
so during this moment of clarity, a query was about me. i asked myself "drew, what do you love?" and the answer was clear. i love the college atmosphere, and no sooner had the thought completed itself than i realized i was wrong. i'm not afraid of the fail/succeed conundrum, the bogeyman is boredom! i feel like i'm leaving the best years behind me without having fully realized them, and now it's work and taxes. even once i get into law school, 3 years and it's work and taxes. sorry but, that won't fly with me.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
shocked at the notion
The Man of Every Hour doesn't like to hype events he's not apart of. unfortunately this culture shock thing is is being put on by friends of drew, so he's kinda forced to. that being said... well, look at the damn picture! it says, "DREW SAYS SEE IT" and i do. so see it!
april 5-6: 5th at NCCU new school of education and 6th outdoors festival style, brant street in durham.
be there, bitches!!!!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Tracy, let me ease your fearful heart
now, tracy, i don't know you, so i won't judge you. on the contrary, i want to help you. you see, we rational's (that's what i am. liberal, yes, but i base my views on rationality, not my political bent) do. we help people trapped in the poltical spectrum ease their minds about things they don't agree with, admittedly to limited success. and exactly what body WOULD you like controlling your freedoms, hmmm? Amana? Blue Cross? Metlife? ya see, or maybe you don't see, this is where this particular argument falls apart. it's the illusion of socialism and communism that has been created by right wing talking heads that has people spooked, not health care reform. it's sad, really, because alot of very intelligent people have been conned into opposing the first initiative since civil rights that will actually improve the quality of life of the american citizen. and that's what it is: a mass con perpetrated by your republican representatives and the conservative media. they conned you all by framing the debate in imaginary fantasy nightmare monsters like death panels, nazis, socialists, and black men with power. they dreamt up scary numbers with suffixes like "trillion" to sway you. they organized and gave themselves edgy names like "tea bagger" and "sarah palin".
i could go into the time not a decade ago when a president and his administration actually DID infringe upon our constitutional freedoms, but let's stick to the subject at hand.
alright, so you're frightened right now. i understand. change is scary, for sure, but so is surgery, and that can save your life. so let's ease your mind right now. this new law is not a socialist plot. there are no death wagons coming for grandma. there aren't any black suits monitoring your doctor visits. there are no government checkpoints that you have to carry papers for. now answer me this: at what point in this bill is a government run health care system proposed? i'll wait... oh, that's right, it isn't proposed in this bill! this is an INSURANCE reform bill, not a "government takeover of the health care system". all it does is tell Amana, and BCBS, and Metlife what they can't do to us, and what they must do for us.
you cannot do things without paying for them. it's funny, and i'm just observing here, how so few people from a certain side of the political spectrum were critical of the reckless way the previous administration spent money. it's even a bit shocking that nobody from a certain side of the political spectrum, and again this is just an observation, seemed to be outraged with the anti-regulatory policies enacted by the previous administration that led to the mess that the current regime had to clean up. you can't blame the current owner for the way the previous owner left the house. had the country not been bleeding money over the past decade due to poor balance of trade's, bubble economics, and a seeming aversion to creating new revenue streams, maybe we wouldn't have felt the need to pass that ghastly bailout. if the past decade hadn't been spent in a collection of wars that proved to be money pit's, not to mention where victory is an improbability, perhaps our deficit wouldn't be in the trillions.
Tracy, my dear, change is scary for all of us. i must admit that even I am not 100% sold on what has passed, but i know one thing for sure: i'd rather have an imperfect reform bill than a for profit health baron deciding my fate. give it time, my dear, give it time.
i could go into the time not a decade ago when a president and his administration actually DID infringe upon our constitutional freedoms, but let's stick to the subject at hand.
alright, so you're frightened right now. i understand. change is scary, for sure, but so is surgery, and that can save your life. so let's ease your mind right now. this new law is not a socialist plot. there are no death wagons coming for grandma. there aren't any black suits monitoring your doctor visits. there are no government checkpoints that you have to carry papers for. now answer me this: at what point in this bill is a government run health care system proposed? i'll wait... oh, that's right, it isn't proposed in this bill! this is an INSURANCE reform bill, not a "government takeover of the health care system". all it does is tell Amana, and BCBS, and Metlife what they can't do to us, and what they must do for us.
you cannot do things without paying for them. it's funny, and i'm just observing here, how so few people from a certain side of the political spectrum were critical of the reckless way the previous administration spent money. it's even a bit shocking that nobody from a certain side of the political spectrum, and again this is just an observation, seemed to be outraged with the anti-regulatory policies enacted by the previous administration that led to the mess that the current regime had to clean up. you can't blame the current owner for the way the previous owner left the house. had the country not been bleeding money over the past decade due to poor balance of trade's, bubble economics, and a seeming aversion to creating new revenue streams, maybe we wouldn't have felt the need to pass that ghastly bailout. if the past decade hadn't been spent in a collection of wars that proved to be money pit's, not to mention where victory is an improbability, perhaps our deficit wouldn't be in the trillions.
Tracy, my dear, change is scary for all of us. i must admit that even I am not 100% sold on what has passed, but i know one thing for sure: i'd rather have an imperfect reform bill than a for profit health baron deciding my fate. give it time, my dear, give it time.
Friday, February 19, 2010
YOU ARE THE PROTOTYPE
it's the most luxurious trip on earth, luscious, with another slickified literary love ball for your hoop of passion. sitting here in my love train on my plush periwinkle couch, sipping on a mango echinacea smoothie i came across a trailer for a movie film called "the losers". in this trailor there was a sexy little love pot named aisha kicking booty and taking names. i was intrigued. my juicy fruit ripened under her sol-full glow. i just had to know who this ingenue that so had my genue on? one word: zoe saldana. we at DIUU are butt crazy in lust with her. why doesn't everyone look like zoe? oh, yeah, my trailor review the movie also has idris elba (the wire, daddy's little girls, rock n' rolla), jeffery dean morgan (watchmen, grey's anatomy), jason patric (in the valley of ellah, narc) and columbus short (cadillac records, stomp the yard) and likes like quite the romp. i know drew and DARK are gonna see it. me too, but only for zoe saldana...
Monday, February 15, 2010
... for i have sinned
i don't know if i ever told you guys this, but in my many adventures, i became acquainted with one of the members of the raleigh, nc sleeper cell. fret not, oh faithful followers. my contact with the individual (then known as dylan boyd, though he has reportedly adopted an islamic name) ended long before (or at least that's what i assume) he became involved with any guerilla organizations. though i make no judgments against him or defenses of his character, i'll let the justice system decide his innocence or guilt, i did find proof positive of our acquaintanceship: an email from 2004, the year we met:
sup homie?
...
Mon, August 16, 2004 5:31:23 PM
From:
Dylan Alexander Boyd
...
Add to Contacts
To: gcodeco05@yahoo.com
hey dude. Its Dylan...Holla at cha boy if u can!
though i shutter to think that a man i once called friend could be involved in any plot to kill innocent people, i will not deny prior contact with him. whatever choices he made in his life are his and his alone. he knew the risks involved and no must face the consequences. as far as i know nobody's ever put a gun to his head and made him do anything. and if he was somehow coerced into joining such a misguided cause, then here's hoping the US penal system sorts it out.
this is for your own good
ummm... not sure how to blog about this. let's just say that the next time you find yourself on the short end of a situation, or that last match goes out before you can light that fire on a cold night, or the resistance blows up your space station of evil, or you fall to your doom in that ravine over there (you know the one), or she kisses him instead of you, or your mom makes you eat her smelly slime ballesque brussels sprouts, click here. oh, and be sure to do what the little chinese girl in "rush hour" says
"the wire" comes true in va
normally i myself would bless y'all w/ my take on crazy ass shit in the world. but for this occasion i thought it would be nice to let y'all hear a more seasoned writers take. this is rare, me doing deference and that, so pay the hell attention to what ms. jameson has to say!
Shooting At Church
Previous
Post by tonyajameson in National on Feb 15, 2010 at 2:36 pm
VIA ABC News
A brazen shooting inside a Richmond, California churches got me to thinking about my favorite TV show ever, “The Wire.” If you haven’t heard the story, it’s unimaginable. Police are still looking for the men who stormed into a church Sunday and opened fire. Two teens were injured during the attack.
When I heard about it, I immediately thought about the episode of “The Wire,” when the Barksdale crew tried to kill Omar. He was taking his grandmother to church when gunmen opened fire and shot the hat off his grandmother’s head.
Omar was stunned, telling his crew:
“…For as long as I been grown, once a month I been with her on a church Sunday, telling myself ain’t no need to worry, ’cause ain’t nobody in this city that lowdown to disrespect a Sunday morning!”
oh, and here's that scene, you know, if you ain't up on your "the wire" lore...
and this is the aftermath...
street law: don't fuck with a n-word on a sunday morning. that's just foul.
Shooting At Church
Previous
Post by tonyajameson in National on Feb 15, 2010 at 2:36 pm
VIA ABC News
A brazen shooting inside a Richmond, California churches got me to thinking about my favorite TV show ever, “The Wire.” If you haven’t heard the story, it’s unimaginable. Police are still looking for the men who stormed into a church Sunday and opened fire. Two teens were injured during the attack.
When I heard about it, I immediately thought about the episode of “The Wire,” when the Barksdale crew tried to kill Omar. He was taking his grandmother to church when gunmen opened fire and shot the hat off his grandmother’s head.
Omar was stunned, telling his crew:
“…For as long as I been grown, once a month I been with her on a church Sunday, telling myself ain’t no need to worry, ’cause ain’t nobody in this city that lowdown to disrespect a Sunday morning!”
oh, and here's that scene, you know, if you ain't up on your "the wire" lore...
and this is the aftermath...
street law: don't fuck with a n-word on a sunday morning. that's just foul.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
snow = cold. cold = AL GORE'S A BIG FAT STUPID!!!
even if you've been living under a rock for the past week, you are surely aware of two things: 1) you need to upgrade your living arrangements, and 2) it's F'N COLD! there is a record blizzard everywhere! i mean, where is the liberal premier, his scienciness al gore, and his global warming when we need it, am i right?! am i right?!?!
it's like right now. you see it's dark out. so therefore i must conclude that the sun will never again come out. i know that that's true because the sun isn't out right now. i also know that this means that there is not a place on this planet where the sun is it. if the sun is indeed out somewhere than why can't i see it? huh? HUH? riddle me THAT, batman!!!
it's like today, you know, before the sun left us forever i didn't see any birds or bees so i am certain, and i do mean doubtless that birds and bees have gone extinct. right now my nose itches, therefore non itchy noses are a myth. the phone is off, so the theory of telecommunication is false. i'm laying flat, therefore the world is flat. i see a red headed lady, so all ladies must have red hair, thus disproving blond and brunette. i can't see my sister, therefore i don't have a sister.
it's cold but it's not snowing here, so there must be no such thing as snow. but it is cold, so global warming? false, am i right?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
well, kemosabe, i hate to break it to you but you're wrong. cold dead, under a rock, and wrong to top it off. also, before i continue, good luck President Goodluck Johnathon of Nigeria (more to come later. now back to your regularly scheduled blog rant)
this, friends, is a logical flaw. the exact flaw present in this group of arguments is the same of that asserted by our conservative blab-o-nauts ® about global warming. the word is that because they are all snowed in their conserv-o-lairs® (i can only assume some reagan shaped cave-lab, sponsored by big corporate, in the middle of one of the great lakes) that al gore is a big stupid head who lied about global warming. let me repeat: they said "BECAUSE MY TUSHY IS COLD, GLOBAL WARMING IS A LIE!"
there are two names for this flaw. name one (what we'll be using) is the proof by example fallacy. also known as an inappropriate generalization, the proof by example fallacy says that because x is true and x is apart of set A than what's true of x is true of A. i know it sounds reasonable, but here's an example of this fallacy: it rains in the sahara desert, deserts are dry, so the sahara is not a desert. here's another one: gravity, if it exists, holds things down. birds fly. birds are things, therefore gravity doesn't exist. oh you need one more? a red delicious is red, a red delicious is an apple, therefore all apples are red.
what do we know? we know that the sahara is a desert with a dry climate, we know that gravity exists, and we know that apples come in many different colors. the mistake is made when you mistake the characteristics of part of a whole for the whole, saying silly things like the sahara isn't a desert because it rained occur.
the same can be said for climate change. when you mistakenly attribute a weather event in a small part of the planet as the barometer for the climactic trends of the whole planet you get republiphiles like limbaugh and becky saying "i'm cold, so global warming is a lie". saying a blizzard in the northeastern US disproves global warming is like saying that a lady smacking you proves that all women are violent. it doesn't correlate that way. people like faux, erm , fox news and limbaugh will take any opportunity to swipe at so called liberal ideals, despite facts. here are the facts:
FACT global warming is a global climactic process that is taking place over years and decades, and has occured before.
FACT the 2000's were the hottest decade on record, causing unparralled melting of the ice caps, record breaking storms, and (yes) record snowfall.
FACT the right has a history of politicizing the non-political
in conclusion, don't you fall for the bull chucking and mud slinging coming out of the right in the wake of this blizzard. after all, we know that since you're not in washington that means it doesn't exist. unless you are, in which case i don't exist because you can't see me. either way you're probably right. you can crawl back under your rock now.
it's like right now. you see it's dark out. so therefore i must conclude that the sun will never again come out. i know that that's true because the sun isn't out right now. i also know that this means that there is not a place on this planet where the sun is it. if the sun is indeed out somewhere than why can't i see it? huh? HUH? riddle me THAT, batman!!!
it's like today, you know, before the sun left us forever i didn't see any birds or bees so i am certain, and i do mean doubtless that birds and bees have gone extinct. right now my nose itches, therefore non itchy noses are a myth. the phone is off, so the theory of telecommunication is false. i'm laying flat, therefore the world is flat. i see a red headed lady, so all ladies must have red hair, thus disproving blond and brunette. i can't see my sister, therefore i don't have a sister.
it's cold but it's not snowing here, so there must be no such thing as snow. but it is cold, so global warming? false, am i right?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
well, kemosabe, i hate to break it to you but you're wrong. cold dead, under a rock, and wrong to top it off. also, before i continue, good luck President Goodluck Johnathon of Nigeria (more to come later. now back to your regularly scheduled blog rant)
this, friends, is a logical flaw. the exact flaw present in this group of arguments is the same of that asserted by our conservative blab-o-nauts ® about global warming. the word is that because they are all snowed in their conserv-o-lairs® (i can only assume some reagan shaped cave-lab, sponsored by big corporate, in the middle of one of the great lakes) that al gore is a big stupid head who lied about global warming. let me repeat: they said "BECAUSE MY TUSHY IS COLD, GLOBAL WARMING IS A LIE!"
there are two names for this flaw. name one (what we'll be using) is the proof by example fallacy. also known as an inappropriate generalization, the proof by example fallacy says that because x is true and x is apart of set A than what's true of x is true of A. i know it sounds reasonable, but here's an example of this fallacy: it rains in the sahara desert, deserts are dry, so the sahara is not a desert. here's another one: gravity, if it exists, holds things down. birds fly. birds are things, therefore gravity doesn't exist. oh you need one more? a red delicious is red, a red delicious is an apple, therefore all apples are red.
what do we know? we know that the sahara is a desert with a dry climate, we know that gravity exists, and we know that apples come in many different colors. the mistake is made when you mistake the characteristics of part of a whole for the whole, saying silly things like the sahara isn't a desert because it rained occur.
the same can be said for climate change. when you mistakenly attribute a weather event in a small part of the planet as the barometer for the climactic trends of the whole planet you get republiphiles like limbaugh and becky saying "i'm cold, so global warming is a lie". saying a blizzard in the northeastern US disproves global warming is like saying that a lady smacking you proves that all women are violent. it doesn't correlate that way. people like faux, erm , fox news and limbaugh will take any opportunity to swipe at so called liberal ideals, despite facts. here are the facts:
FACT global warming is a global climactic process that is taking place over years and decades, and has occured before.
FACT the 2000's were the hottest decade on record, causing unparralled melting of the ice caps, record breaking storms, and (yes) record snowfall.
FACT the right has a history of politicizing the non-political
in conclusion, don't you fall for the bull chucking and mud slinging coming out of the right in the wake of this blizzard. after all, we know that since you're not in washington that means it doesn't exist. unless you are, in which case i don't exist because you can't see me. either way you're probably right. you can crawl back under your rock now.
because i'm bored....
... here are a few of the responses i've made to posts on creative loafing :)... :(
Posted by DARK on 07.29.08 @ 12:17 PM
i agree whole heartedly. this movie was by far shyamalan's worse (which is saying a lot in the post "village" world) it went beyond fantasy. it went beyond suspending disbelief. it went beyond the absurd. it even went beyond the "i'm-dreaming-and-now-realize-it-so-i-will-shape-the-subsequent-events"thing. "lady" had the nerve to make up the rules as it went. from the fact that story couldn't tell you anything until she COULD tell you anything, to the fact that the eatlon conveniently could make two trips if it missed her on the first,to the fact that the scrunts couldn't come inside until they could inside or that the always delightful franklin boy could read their plan on cereal boxes, this movie was one big crap fest and no "lady" i'd ever want to associate with. done.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
andrew's lament
during one of my more recent investigations, i uncovered what appeared to be a letter of burden written by a fellow named andrew monroe. it didn't seem important to the investigation, but you never know. so here it is, and if it means anything to you please contact DIUU:
"I, ANDREW C. MONROE, BEING OF SOUND MIND AND BODY AND OF MY OWN FREE WILL DO ISSUE THIS, MY OFFICIAL LETTER OF REGRET AND REPENTANCE. I AM ASHAMED OF MYSELF AND DO BEG FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS IN THIS MATTER. FOR THE PAST SEVERAL MONTHS I HAVE BEEN LIVING IN THE CHARLOTTE AREA. IN THIS TIME O HAVE RECONNECTED WITH ZERO OF MY PAST ACQUAINTANCES, NOR HAVE I CONNECTED WITH ANYMORE NEW PEOPLE FOR CREATIVE OR PERSONAL REASONS. FOR THIS I OFFER MY DEEPEST AND MOST SOLEMN APOLOGIES. FOR THOSE WHO I SUPPORTED AND THOSE WHO I NEGLECTED TO MEET I WILL MAKE AMENDS. I DO HOPE YOU FORGIVE MY NEGLIGENCE.
SINCERELY YOURS,
ACM"
as i said, it doesn't seem pertinent to my investigation, but it could be of interest to you, oh DARKlings of mine.
"I, ANDREW C. MONROE, BEING OF SOUND MIND AND BODY AND OF MY OWN FREE WILL DO ISSUE THIS, MY OFFICIAL LETTER OF REGRET AND REPENTANCE. I AM ASHAMED OF MYSELF AND DO BEG FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS IN THIS MATTER. FOR THE PAST SEVERAL MONTHS I HAVE BEEN LIVING IN THE CHARLOTTE AREA. IN THIS TIME O HAVE RECONNECTED WITH ZERO OF MY PAST ACQUAINTANCES, NOR HAVE I CONNECTED WITH ANYMORE NEW PEOPLE FOR CREATIVE OR PERSONAL REASONS. FOR THIS I OFFER MY DEEPEST AND MOST SOLEMN APOLOGIES. FOR THOSE WHO I SUPPORTED AND THOSE WHO I NEGLECTED TO MEET I WILL MAKE AMENDS. I DO HOPE YOU FORGIVE MY NEGLIGENCE.
SINCERELY YOURS,
ACM"
as i said, it doesn't seem pertinent to my investigation, but it could be of interest to you, oh DARKlings of mine.
the anticipatory blog
ok, bitches, this here blog isn't real a blog at all. i know what you're thinking.... let me explain. ya see, on my previous blog (the still active, if unutilized, myspace page) there was this tradition where every year i would announce who the worlds greatest fuck-ups were. i called it the fuck-up of the year award. well, guess what bitches? i'm bringing it to DIUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! try to contain your euphoria. not sure when i'll have my list finished for last year but it should be coming soon....
ps, since the decade ended guess what else is coming? the (wait for it) FUCK-UP OF THE DECADE AWARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *gasp* spaz now if you please...
ps, since the decade ended guess what else is coming? the (wait for it) FUCK-UP OF THE DECADE AWARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *gasp* spaz now if you please...
Thursday, January 21, 2010
don't piss off conan
so what you're gonna do is click on the player and then answer this short DIUU quiz:
why shouldn't you throw rocks at conan o'briens throne if he works for you?
a) because he has bigger rocks
b) because he'll start crying in your office in front of that client you've been trying to close with
c) eleven
d) because he'll blow a fuck ton of you money on a not-very-long segment of airtime
if you answered a, b, or c, you didn't follow instructions (see me after class). in fact if you answered c you're suspended. shame on you. clearly you don't fuck with somone who can mess with your wallet! $1.5 million for like 55 seconds of air?!?! talk about rocky break-ups! remind me never to mess up anybody that can mess with my pockets, yo. cause that's what - $1.5 million? i need to sit down....
ok, so he didn't actually spend that much (he borrowed the bugatti and NBC has a deal that allows them to use music at a discount. i don't know how either) but it still was quite expensive for a minute long segment. some folks are upset that big red "chickened out" by not actually buying the car, but let's think for a minute: conan's getting a $45 million severance package. if he really spent exorbitant amounts of NBC's money during these last two shows, where do you think NBC is gonna pull it? that severance package. and i don't care how upset you are, no sane person would mess with his own money. click the title for more.
why shouldn't you throw rocks at conan o'briens throne if he works for you?
a) because he has bigger rocks
b) because he'll start crying in your office in front of that client you've been trying to close with
c) eleven
d) because he'll blow a fuck ton of you money on a not-very-long segment of airtime
if you answered a, b, or c, you didn't follow instructions (see me after class). in fact if you answered c you're suspended. shame on you. clearly you don't fuck with somone who can mess with your wallet! $1.5 million for like 55 seconds of air?!?! talk about rocky break-ups! remind me never to mess up anybody that can mess with my pockets, yo. cause that's what - $1.5 million? i need to sit down....
ok, so he didn't actually spend that much (he borrowed the bugatti and NBC has a deal that allows them to use music at a discount. i don't know how either) but it still was quite expensive for a minute long segment. some folks are upset that big red "chickened out" by not actually buying the car, but let's think for a minute: conan's getting a $45 million severance package. if he really spent exorbitant amounts of NBC's money during these last two shows, where do you think NBC is gonna pull it? that severance package. and i don't care how upset you are, no sane person would mess with his own money. click the title for more.
Monday, January 18, 2010
the heavy
yo rosé roadie luscious always keeps y'all up on the music tip, so i just had give a little love to this sweet number by The Heavy called 'sixteen'
even though i usually perfer the smoother lady-friendly melodies, i must me i had to get out of plush chair and dance around in my indigo crushed velvet suit with lavender accents on this one. click der title for their funkdafied official web-page. i'ma go take me a eucalyptus bath.
even though i usually perfer the smoother lady-friendly melodies, i must me i had to get out of plush chair and dance around in my indigo crushed velvet suit with lavender accents on this one. click der title for their funkdafied official web-page. i'ma go take me a eucalyptus bath.
Friday, January 15, 2010
sam jackson makes iphones cool
i'll be first to say that the iphone is a pretty, high tech waste of your hard earned cash, especially if you were unlucky enough to buy a of the buggy one from their initial release. you know the one that was cheaper, less buggy, and more powerful a few months later? yeah. same goes for those of you who were fool enough to download iAmRich app. remember that? your bank account does.
that said, i will also be the first to admit that their latest app may quite ossibly be the coolest thing ever. possibly even climate-change-ceasingly cool. picture this: what if you could carry the ayatollah of cool, Samuel L. Jackson, around in your pocket? i know, the sun could fall from the sky and you wouldn't so much as break a sweat with that much cool in your pocket right? well thanks to his awesomeness and the good folks apple now you can have his awesomeness in your pocket! there is this new app called iSamJackson that allows you to access to over 150 studio recorded quotes from the man himself (sorta like this soundboard, but by apple)! for more click on the title for the direct link to the article, i gotta go throw on an extra jacket to deal with the cool eminating from the computer screen. peace!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
colorism: racism 2.0
we do not live in a post racial society. the advent of Obama was not the waning of the racist moon. the traditional racial lines have not been erased. not while color still means so much to us. not while our children still associate white with right. not while dark people are taught that their defining features are ugly and unacceptable in 'polite' society. until the locks and earthen tone of the dark continent are deemed equal to the euro-centric mainstream in this world, we will never move beyond race.
Obama did not write the final chapter to america's racial story. quite the contrary, a new can of worms was opened with his election. within this can were the innate bigotries that lay dormant within the hearts and minds of the american populous. for the first time in more than four decades people had to face their own issues with race. you could feel the collective cringe of those who had to finally admit to themselves that they couldn't vote for a black man. you could taste the bile from those who swore that the was a muslim, as if praying to Allah, the God of brown men, was a negative mark. we all heard the disenfranchised howls of the birthers, who knew that the election board had mistakenly allowed a foreigner to run for president.there was even tsalk of session from the most radical of the bunch. and to think all of this venom because a black man dared excerise his constitutional right to seek the presidency. how dare he.
but recently, harry reid, the senate majority leader, gives us a good teaching moment that sums up obama's true effect on the racial discussion. reid said in so many words that america was ready to embrace a "light-skinned" black man with no "negro" dialect. you can infer that this statement means, that in the eyes of americans light is right. light colored skin is considered acceptable because it is close to white skin. this raises an important issue in the racial discussion that is too oft over looked. in this country, and indeed the world over, colorism, or the preference lighter complexions, is a more important factor than race.
in the black community it's nnot uncommon for one to hear for their whole life how much better light skin is than dark. we associate dark skin with the things the euro-centric mainstream deem ugly about our ethnicity: dark skin, 'nappy' hair, wide noses and big lips and buttocks. we associate light skin with positive aspects of the culture: fair skin, straight hair, slim builds, and success. what has happened is that all things that define the black race physically have been deemed negative by the prevailing culture. this idea leads to bigotries even within ethnic groups by deeming certain members of the group superior. it's effectiveness is compounded when the distinction is made along visible lines like appearance. it causes people to teach their children that light skin and straight hair are desirable as opposed to kinky hair and dark skin. it is a control method used by slave traders and owners in order to create mental slaves (enslave the mind and yoiu dont need shackles). it was at this time that fairer skinned slaves (born of white fathers) were called superior and allpwed to live in the big house, while the darker toned (pure african) slaves were forced to toil their days in the fields. the house slaves were more likely to gain access to education than the field slaves, compounding the idea that light skin was superior.
the sad truth is that this mental slavery that was imposed at the end of the gun barrels and whips of european slave traders was more effective than they could have imagined. to this day these slave ideals that light skin and straight hair is superior to dark skin and kinky hair have prevailed throughout the black community, and, yes, the nation as a whole. the idea that in order to succeed as a black person in this nation one must shun their african features in favor of a more european appearance and persona. we are post racial indeed.
this problem is universal, as i said. name a brown nation on earth andi can point out examples of colorism. in many asain cultures, darker skin is associated with poverty and is deemed undesirable. in some latin american nations european descendants are considered more desirable than african and native descendants. even on the african continent, the hutus and tutsi are embroiled in a centuries old dispute based on european preference.
we do not live in a post racial world. and we will not until we can accept ourselves for who were designed to be.
Obama did not write the final chapter to america's racial story. quite the contrary, a new can of worms was opened with his election. within this can were the innate bigotries that lay dormant within the hearts and minds of the american populous. for the first time in more than four decades people had to face their own issues with race. you could feel the collective cringe of those who had to finally admit to themselves that they couldn't vote for a black man. you could taste the bile from those who swore that the was a muslim, as if praying to Allah, the God of brown men, was a negative mark. we all heard the disenfranchised howls of the birthers, who knew that the election board had mistakenly allowed a foreigner to run for president.there was even tsalk of session from the most radical of the bunch. and to think all of this venom because a black man dared excerise his constitutional right to seek the presidency. how dare he.
but recently, harry reid, the senate majority leader, gives us a good teaching moment that sums up obama's true effect on the racial discussion. reid said in so many words that america was ready to embrace a "light-skinned" black man with no "negro" dialect. you can infer that this statement means, that in the eyes of americans light is right. light colored skin is considered acceptable because it is close to white skin. this raises an important issue in the racial discussion that is too oft over looked. in this country, and indeed the world over, colorism, or the preference lighter complexions, is a more important factor than race.
in the black community it's nnot uncommon for one to hear for their whole life how much better light skin is than dark. we associate dark skin with the things the euro-centric mainstream deem ugly about our ethnicity: dark skin, 'nappy' hair, wide noses and big lips and buttocks. we associate light skin with positive aspects of the culture: fair skin, straight hair, slim builds, and success. what has happened is that all things that define the black race physically have been deemed negative by the prevailing culture. this idea leads to bigotries even within ethnic groups by deeming certain members of the group superior. it's effectiveness is compounded when the distinction is made along visible lines like appearance. it causes people to teach their children that light skin and straight hair are desirable as opposed to kinky hair and dark skin. it is a control method used by slave traders and owners in order to create mental slaves (enslave the mind and yoiu dont need shackles). it was at this time that fairer skinned slaves (born of white fathers) were called superior and allpwed to live in the big house, while the darker toned (pure african) slaves were forced to toil their days in the fields. the house slaves were more likely to gain access to education than the field slaves, compounding the idea that light skin was superior.
the sad truth is that this mental slavery that was imposed at the end of the gun barrels and whips of european slave traders was more effective than they could have imagined. to this day these slave ideals that light skin and straight hair is superior to dark skin and kinky hair have prevailed throughout the black community, and, yes, the nation as a whole. the idea that in order to succeed as a black person in this nation one must shun their african features in favor of a more european appearance and persona. we are post racial indeed.
this problem is universal, as i said. name a brown nation on earth andi can point out examples of colorism. in many asain cultures, darker skin is associated with poverty and is deemed undesirable. in some latin american nations european descendants are considered more desirable than african and native descendants. even on the african continent, the hutus and tutsi are embroiled in a centuries old dispute based on european preference.
we do not live in a post racial world. and we will not until we can accept ourselves for who were designed to be.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
I AM ROOMBA CAT!
the following is the reason we at DIUU are not cat people:
this just proves our point about cats: they have a god complex. we don't trust god complexes. and this buster is like the kratos of cat god complexes, this cat thinks it's bast or something. see how it attacks the dog from atop it's chariot, devoid of provocation or mercy? like the damn british when they landed on plymouth, this cat, and all cats for that matter, just assume that all that is is theirs no matter what or who is there. see how it just assumes the roomba is it's own personal segway? stupid cats. i swear the DIUU mascot will be like a panther or something... what's that? the panther is a cat? oh, well, they suck too then. but they look cool, all sleek and black. yeah, panthers...
this just proves our point about cats: they have a god complex. we don't trust god complexes. and this buster is like the kratos of cat god complexes, this cat thinks it's bast or something. see how it attacks the dog from atop it's chariot, devoid of provocation or mercy? like the damn british when they landed on plymouth, this cat, and all cats for that matter, just assume that all that is is theirs no matter what or who is there. see how it just assumes the roomba is it's own personal segway? stupid cats. i swear the DIUU mascot will be like a panther or something... what's that? the panther is a cat? oh, well, they suck too then. but they look cool, all sleek and black. yeah, panthers...
Friday, January 8, 2010
it's official: zoe saldana is the hottest lady on this or any other planet (or moon)
so a few days ago i saw that avatar movie with sissy tang, and had my mind sufficiently blown (btw imax 3D is the only way to watch movies of that kind, but that's another show). but something had been bothering me. i thought something was wrong with me, because there was no way i was supposed to think like this. i mean it's a computer generated, motion captured blue thing... with a tail. i'm rambling. so what could have shaken me so about a fantastical indictment of western imperialism? not the damn message thats for sure. then it hit me.
neytiri, the na'vi princess (i guess she qualifies for that title) was hot.
not 'she looks like the heat is getting to her' hot, i mean like cat call, howl-at-the-moon hot.
i was bugged by this because, after all, shes 10 foot tall blue alien... with a tail. so i went through the motions in the old noggin, trying to find either a justification for this flummoxing development, or a good reason to convince myself i was tripping. but i couldn't. no matter how i colored it, neytiri was a hottie and there was no good reason why. she was a hottie, period. a 10 foot, blue, half naked, bow wielding, dynobird riding hottie. i had to ask for help, so i went to the most qualified source of souch help: twitter. i got one response from my buddy carlos, "@DrewEveryday Absolutely not! Zoe Saldana is sexy all the time... animated or not" then it hit me like hot grits on al green's forehead: it wasn't that neytiri was so damn hot, it was that zoe saldana's hotitude (trademark) permeated through her azure facade! i was relieved! i wasn't secretly a furry! i was just a guy who appreciated beauty!
so i, the only one of these DIUU staffers that really matters, the man of every hour himself, drew everyday, have decided that zoe saldana has usurped previous winner freida pinto (latika, 'slumdog millionaire') as the worlds hottest woman, because aynybody can look good as a human, but it takes a special kind of hottie to pull off blue alien w/ tail hottieness. so here w/o further ado, is the photo tribute to the hottest thing in the cosmos, zoe saldana!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
RE: Who the hell is Pat McCrory?
Posted by DARK on 02.20.08 @ 08:54 PM
i dont know if Pat is the right man for the job. i mean under his regime in charlotte we saw the rise of gang culture, the death of our NBA franchise, and the almost complete defunding of the arts in public schools. he did do a lot of good too, like bringing the light rail and the NFL to the city, but, i dont know. besides, do you really think a "moderate" republican can win a GOP primary who isn't named John McCain? i dont.