in my raspberry colored partners haste (i think the brutha's lenses was over-rosey) to deliver the list and bottom five of the 10 greatest list he give ya, he neglected a few deserving songs. i won't. i will right this wrong one song at a time, anView Blogd the most glaring slight was the omission of a band consisting of a bald, fat guy in a technicolor robe and a light bright brutha in a mouse suit. gnarls barkley had a song called crazy:
both cee-lo green and danger mouse were known for their work as hip hop artists, danger mouse as a producer (dangerdoom) and cee-lo as a rapper (goodie mob, dungeon family and solo). but together the spawned the funkiest electro-pop smash of the decade at the very least. i'd dedlve into the hypnotic danger mouse track, or cee-lo's gospel inspired falsetto, but you played the vid right? good!
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
speaking of duncan v. kobe...
i had to present the awesomeness that was their sprite commercial:
yes, that was none other than the misdemeanor herself! all is right with the world now. you're welcome.
yes, that was none other than the misdemeanor herself! all is right with the world now. you're welcome.
blitzen fiasco
yall know how i hate to give coloreds props for shit, but this may be the coolest f'n commercial since the 'kobe v. duncan' joint:
IT'S LUPE FIASCO AS BLITZEN RAPPIN! :O (collect yo self dude)
well i woulda ripped that flow better, cause i rock harder than.... pretty much everybody else, but i guess it was alright for what it was...
IT'S LUPE FIASCO AS BLITZEN RAPPIN! :O (collect yo self dude)
well i woulda ripped that flow better, cause i rock harder than.... pretty much everybody else, but i guess it was alright for what it was...
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
10 greatest songs of the decade (so far)
it's your momma's favorite lover man, luscious, here bringing you the official DIUU list of the top ten rankings for songs of the decade in the category of: GREATNESS. what is greatness? we define it as a song of at least upper mid quality that had an impact, meaning it was a hit, effected the industry, was an anomaly, career definer, or genre definer, was socially relevant or crossed over into pop culture. the most important factor is quality, obviously. so some very big songs didn't make the cut (sorry "umbrella" and “in da club". the second most important factor is, however, chart positioning. only top 40 songs were eligible, so there are some very good songs that were left off the list (sorry Raconteurs and DOOM catalog). there was one more factor that weighed heavy on the list, and that was that the entry had to be a song released originally this decade, meaning no remakes or millennium holdovers, excluding monters like "what's going on", "float on", and the first numero uno of the decade, "big pimpin'". with no further ado, DIUU presents the list:
“Paper Planes”- M.I.A.
“Jesus Walks”- Kanye West
“Stan”- Eminem/ “Hey Ya!”- OutKast
“Clocks”- Coldplay/ “Ordinary People” John Legend
“Don’t Know Why”- Norah Jones
“American Idiot”- Green Day
“Ms. Jackson”- OutKast
“Seven Nation Army”- The White Stripes
“Where is the Love?”- Black Eyed Peas f/ Justin Timberlake
“A Milli”- Lil’ Wayne/ “Gone”- N*SYNC
Ok, so it's really 13 songs, but who's counting? neway, it should be no surprise that the M.I.A. offering is the greatest song of the decade. it was a smash single,is socially relevant, and is still as popular what, two years post natal (literally. ya'll saw Maya at the grammys looking like the poster girl for BellaBluMaternity.com). well, here are more in-depth explanations for the winners:
A Milli
Artist: Lil’ Wayne
Year: 2008
Album: Tha Carter III
Rank: 10(t)
Why: the song that bore ‘a milli’on remakes. Was the biggest and most influential song of the career of the man some say is the next GOAT candidate. One of the top 100 hip hop songs ever, likely top 50, arguably top 20.
Gone
Artist: N*SYNC
Year: 2002
Album: Celebrity
Rank: 10(t)
Why: the pantheon of boy bands that permeated the pop era was a muddled bunch, to say the least. Two of these stood above the rest: The Backstreet Boys and N*SYNC. After this song, there was only N*SYNC. The only song that was equally loved by rich white teenie bopper girls and grown black men. By both preps and thugs. No small feat, considering the bands origins.
Where is the Love?
Artist: Black Eyed Peas f/ Justin Timberlake
Year: 2003
Album: Elefunk
Rank: 9
Why: The Black Eyed Peas enjoyed a long career of fringe hip hop fame, enjoying support from a core group of fans thast appreciated their niche sound. Around ’03, former Mickey Mouse Clubber, Fergie, joined the group and the Peas decided to collab with Justin Timberlake (N*SYNC alum) on this song. The Black Eyed Peas have since enjoyed a career as mainstream artists. Will.i.am and Fergie have also had solo success. This song was their coming out party, so to speak.
Seven Nation Army
Artist: The White Stripes
Year: 2003
Album: Elephant
Rank: 8
Why: though already well known from their “White Blood Cells” album, ‘army’ seemingly formed like the universe: from nothing, then an explosion of everything. The single ‘SNA’ mirrored this sudden explosion, as a brooding guitar, so deep and dark it had to be a bass, but wasn’t, lick told the story before Jack White’s first frenetic line. Then sister Meg with her never too much but always just right cadence built into the explosive refrain (no hook here, just verse) like a fuse igniting the accelerant. Then, much like the universe itself, the cold darkness of the first riff returns and the process begins again. By the way, Euro fans still chant this riff at sporting events.
Ms. Jackson
Artist: OutKast
Year: 2001
Album: Stankonia
Rank: 7
Why: the 2 dope boys in the Cadillac had been around, garnering critical success and hip hop respect ever since the ‘playas ball’ in ’92. Sporting an eclectic mix of grimey southern smoked out rhymes, and space age future funk, not to mention the best MC in the south (Andre 3000) and the slickest lyricist in the game (Big Boi), they had spun gold becoming the most respected duo since Eric B. and Rakim. However, they had never had any crossover success. Enter 2000’s ‘Stankonia’. Throwing away conventions, they selected the exhausting buzzsaw of a song ‘ B.O.B.’ as the debut single. Next came this song. This song finally gave the ATL dream team the commercial success they deserved. Was the biggest hit of their career at the time…
American Idiot
Artist: Green Day
Year: 2004
Album: American Idiot
Rank: 6
Why: Green Day should have been dead. They should have been a half mile down the ‘Boulevard of Broken Dreams’ by then. They were a relic of a bygone era. From an era where a flannel shirt, ripped jeans, scraggly hair, and driving guitars equaled mass appeal and big bucks. A decade passed their prime, and a term removed from their last studio album, came an anthem. Not only did this anthem revive their careers, it made it possible for other message filed, politically charged anthems to permeate the pop charts. ‘Idiot’ marked a high point in the careers of the already highly respected quartet.
Don’t Know Why
Artist: Norah Jones
Year: 2002
Album: Come Away With Me
Rank: 5
Why: it’s Grammy time, folks, and there are only two contenders really. And everybody knows that this year the battle comes down to Slim Shady and The Boss. Eminem or Springsteen. Up against each other in every major category, and with the two biggest critically acclaimed albums of the year, and the same number of nominations it all comes down to which one takes the most. First we must chose the best new artist. In comes Norah. She takes best new artist. She is also up in all the categories that Slim and Boss are in. so here we go! Each man has expectedly swept their genre’s. now record of the year goes too… Norah Jones “Don’t Know Why”?!?!?!? okay, song of the year too… Norah Jones “Don’t Know Why”?!?!?!? again?! Well time for the big showdown: album of the year goes to Slim or The Boss right? No! Norah Jones wins that as well! ‘Don’t Know Why’ makes this list for the body count it left at the ’03 Grammy awards. It toppled the unconquerable Eminem and felled the mighty Bruce Springsteen.
i know, i know, this is only 7 songs (the bottom five rankings). so you wanna know what gives? you're gonna have to wait for the others.... ta ta for now
“Paper Planes”- M.I.A.
“Jesus Walks”- Kanye West
“Stan”- Eminem/ “Hey Ya!”- OutKast
“Clocks”- Coldplay/ “Ordinary People” John Legend
“Don’t Know Why”- Norah Jones
“American Idiot”- Green Day
“Ms. Jackson”- OutKast
“Seven Nation Army”- The White Stripes
“Where is the Love?”- Black Eyed Peas f/ Justin Timberlake
“A Milli”- Lil’ Wayne/ “Gone”- N*SYNC
Ok, so it's really 13 songs, but who's counting? neway, it should be no surprise that the M.I.A. offering is the greatest song of the decade. it was a smash single,is socially relevant, and is still as popular what, two years post natal (literally. ya'll saw Maya at the grammys looking like the poster girl for BellaBluMaternity.com). well, here are more in-depth explanations for the winners:
A Milli
Artist: Lil’ Wayne
Year: 2008
Album: Tha Carter III
Rank: 10(t)
Why: the song that bore ‘a milli’on remakes. Was the biggest and most influential song of the career of the man some say is the next GOAT candidate. One of the top 100 hip hop songs ever, likely top 50, arguably top 20.
Gone
Artist: N*SYNC
Year: 2002
Album: Celebrity
Rank: 10(t)
Why: the pantheon of boy bands that permeated the pop era was a muddled bunch, to say the least. Two of these stood above the rest: The Backstreet Boys and N*SYNC. After this song, there was only N*SYNC. The only song that was equally loved by rich white teenie bopper girls and grown black men. By both preps and thugs. No small feat, considering the bands origins.
Where is the Love?
Artist: Black Eyed Peas f/ Justin Timberlake
Year: 2003
Album: Elefunk
Rank: 9
Why: The Black Eyed Peas enjoyed a long career of fringe hip hop fame, enjoying support from a core group of fans thast appreciated their niche sound. Around ’03, former Mickey Mouse Clubber, Fergie, joined the group and the Peas decided to collab with Justin Timberlake (N*SYNC alum) on this song. The Black Eyed Peas have since enjoyed a career as mainstream artists. Will.i.am and Fergie have also had solo success. This song was their coming out party, so to speak.
Seven Nation Army
Artist: The White Stripes
Year: 2003
Album: Elephant
Rank: 8
Why: though already well known from their “White Blood Cells” album, ‘army’ seemingly formed like the universe: from nothing, then an explosion of everything. The single ‘SNA’ mirrored this sudden explosion, as a brooding guitar, so deep and dark it had to be a bass, but wasn’t, lick told the story before Jack White’s first frenetic line. Then sister Meg with her never too much but always just right cadence built into the explosive refrain (no hook here, just verse) like a fuse igniting the accelerant. Then, much like the universe itself, the cold darkness of the first riff returns and the process begins again. By the way, Euro fans still chant this riff at sporting events.
Ms. Jackson
Artist: OutKast
Year: 2001
Album: Stankonia
Rank: 7
Why: the 2 dope boys in the Cadillac had been around, garnering critical success and hip hop respect ever since the ‘playas ball’ in ’92. Sporting an eclectic mix of grimey southern smoked out rhymes, and space age future funk, not to mention the best MC in the south (Andre 3000) and the slickest lyricist in the game (Big Boi), they had spun gold becoming the most respected duo since Eric B. and Rakim. However, they had never had any crossover success. Enter 2000’s ‘Stankonia’. Throwing away conventions, they selected the exhausting buzzsaw of a song ‘ B.O.B.’ as the debut single. Next came this song. This song finally gave the ATL dream team the commercial success they deserved. Was the biggest hit of their career at the time…
American Idiot
Artist: Green Day
Year: 2004
Album: American Idiot
Rank: 6
Why: Green Day should have been dead. They should have been a half mile down the ‘Boulevard of Broken Dreams’ by then. They were a relic of a bygone era. From an era where a flannel shirt, ripped jeans, scraggly hair, and driving guitars equaled mass appeal and big bucks. A decade passed their prime, and a term removed from their last studio album, came an anthem. Not only did this anthem revive their careers, it made it possible for other message filed, politically charged anthems to permeate the pop charts. ‘Idiot’ marked a high point in the careers of the already highly respected quartet.
Don’t Know Why
Artist: Norah Jones
Year: 2002
Album: Come Away With Me
Rank: 5
Why: it’s Grammy time, folks, and there are only two contenders really. And everybody knows that this year the battle comes down to Slim Shady and The Boss. Eminem or Springsteen. Up against each other in every major category, and with the two biggest critically acclaimed albums of the year, and the same number of nominations it all comes down to which one takes the most. First we must chose the best new artist. In comes Norah. She takes best new artist. She is also up in all the categories that Slim and Boss are in. so here we go! Each man has expectedly swept their genre’s. now record of the year goes too… Norah Jones “Don’t Know Why”?!?!?!? okay, song of the year too… Norah Jones “Don’t Know Why”?!?!?!? again?! Well time for the big showdown: album of the year goes to Slim or The Boss right? No! Norah Jones wins that as well! ‘Don’t Know Why’ makes this list for the body count it left at the ’03 Grammy awards. It toppled the unconquerable Eminem and felled the mighty Bruce Springsteen.
i know, i know, this is only 7 songs (the bottom five rankings). so you wanna know what gives? you're gonna have to wait for the others.... ta ta for now
Saturday, December 12, 2009
transitions
It’s a funny feeling; walking through a formal banquet hall wearing a purple/green/black hoodie, hand-me-down, or rather, pass-across jeans, and sneakers.
The jazz band tunes in, mocking
Ironic that you would to neglect form
They have no sympathy for your amorphous garb
A trifle, your vain attempts at respect whispering, white cord noose
4-years dangle from your freshly tapered neck
As suits and skirts “ahem” your passing
There is no shame with eating desert first.
A sample of tirami-sue me if you disagree
While you sway from that tree
Honored by the thought of one day obliging the sentiment
Of tightening the lady’s eye binds
While you slip an ounce or two more onto your plate
Tip
Scales in your favor
For once may the scales tip in your favor
May the bough on which you cling by your
Honor may it break into a maelstrom of hale
And spit
And sweat
And tears
And blood
And grit
And bile
And rock-a-bye to these suits and skirts
With their two-button up-turned noses
And there knee length ¾ split lip pursed
As if your hoodie, jeans, and sneakers bring shame to the cord that hangs them
Jazz band understands
I know, for my sneakers have been taken in by it
Nurtured and reared into lock step
My neck seems somewhat less burdened by strain of the cord
The jazz band exorcised the tree
My head, weak from the effort, bobs in kind
Confidence, once a drip, is now a trickle
It won’t last for ever so enjoy it
And no suit with it’s narrow, tailor cut lapel
Will say that my hoodie cheapens the pin that adorns it
No crisp cotton blend white shirt will usurp my colorful flannel
Allow me to sneak in a few more minutes of comfort from these sneakers
I’ll grow up tomorrow
The jazz band tunes in, mocking
Ironic that you would to neglect form
They have no sympathy for your amorphous garb
A trifle, your vain attempts at respect whispering, white cord noose
4-years dangle from your freshly tapered neck
As suits and skirts “ahem” your passing
There is no shame with eating desert first.
A sample of tirami-sue me if you disagree
While you sway from that tree
Honored by the thought of one day obliging the sentiment
Of tightening the lady’s eye binds
While you slip an ounce or two more onto your plate
Tip
Scales in your favor
For once may the scales tip in your favor
May the bough on which you cling by your
Honor may it break into a maelstrom of hale
And spit
And sweat
And tears
And blood
And grit
And bile
And rock-a-bye to these suits and skirts
With their two-button up-turned noses
And there knee length ¾ split lip pursed
As if your hoodie, jeans, and sneakers bring shame to the cord that hangs them
Jazz band understands
I know, for my sneakers have been taken in by it
Nurtured and reared into lock step
My neck seems somewhat less burdened by strain of the cord
The jazz band exorcised the tree
My head, weak from the effort, bobs in kind
Confidence, once a drip, is now a trickle
It won’t last for ever so enjoy it
And no suit with it’s narrow, tailor cut lapel
Will say that my hoodie cheapens the pin that adorns it
No crisp cotton blend white shirt will usurp my colorful flannel
Allow me to sneak in a few more minutes of comfort from these sneakers
I’ll grow up tomorrow
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
charlotte, north carolina nerd rage
nerd rage moment of the night: this is a link: (*_*). when you click on a link it takes you to a website. no duh, right? true as elephants being bigger than the moon , right? you'd think but my malevolent laptop has other ideas on the subject. according to it, i gotta do it just right or no dice. that's how it must be, because when i click on the first link, it takes me to a download box... and then doesn't download anything. grrrrrrrrrrr. you see this kitty? that's me going all angry nintendo nerd on my computer. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr and double grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (new school dick dastardly *NERD!*)
in less nerdy news, this kid from my high school is giving a play called "a tuna christmas" here's a link. normally i would blather on about how great an actor colby davis, the kid from my high school, is, or how tough playing 11 characters is. or i'd spew how everybody should check out this play and support the home team, but i won't. i refuse t talk up this unique (or, er, weird, yeah thats it) piece of art. i also won't wish the actors good luck. and i definitely won't be buying a ticket to one of the showings between the 3rd and 13th of december (the shows run). and i defy you to see me putting up a link to the ticket page so you, the reader, can pick one up online. and because i won't do that i won't tell you how affordable they are (under $30 bucks) that's not how i roll. i'm the man of every motherfuckin hour, drew every-motherfuckin-day! how i even look promote another man's shit? like i care if you go to spirit square's mcglohon theater to see "a tuna christmas" between the 3rd and 13th of december? it ain't makin me no money...
in less nerdy news, this kid from my high school is giving a play called "a tuna christmas" here's a link. normally i would blather on about how great an actor colby davis, the kid from my high school, is, or how tough playing 11 characters is. or i'd spew how everybody should check out this play and support the home team, but i won't. i refuse t talk up this unique (or, er, weird, yeah thats it) piece of art. i also won't wish the actors good luck. and i definitely won't be buying a ticket to one of the showings between the 3rd and 13th of december (the shows run). and i defy you to see me putting up a link to the ticket page so you, the reader, can pick one up online. and because i won't do that i won't tell you how affordable they are (under $30 bucks) that's not how i roll. i'm the man of every motherfuckin hour, drew every-motherfuckin-day! how i even look promote another man's shit? like i care if you go to spirit square's mcglohon theater to see "a tuna christmas" between the 3rd and 13th of december? it ain't makin me no money...
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
smartest play ever?
the clock reads 1:45. the quarter reads 4. you are on their 10 yard line. you need the 4 for a first down. they have no timeouts. you're up one. their coach says, "hey defense, let 'em score so we can get the ball back with some time left." of course your coach calls a run. you are the running back. what do you do?
a) say, "TO MUCH PRESSURE!!!" and go lay in a fetal position on the sideline
b) go get a touchdown, champ. you deserve it!
c) richard nixon
d) run into the first defender you see and fall, hoping it's not ray lewis
if you answered a, b, or c you'd be wrong. also if you answered d you'd be incorrecto mundo. the correct answer is:
e) run down to the 1 yard line and take a knee keeping the clock moving and guaranteeing your team four shots from the one.
well check out the guy who knew and did all of this
to appreciate the brilliance of this play just listen to the commentators, all smart guys, musing about whether or not the jets, who had no timeouts, should just let the jags score and try to get the ball back with enough time to put together a drive to tie the game. maurice jones-drew knew that the jets might be thinking that. he saw that they were indeed not going to tackle him. so he decided that rather than give them about 1:30 to work down the field he would take a knee at the one, insuring that the clock continued to tick. that, my friends, is a genius level understanding of game situations from a still underrated player. behold.
a) say, "TO MUCH PRESSURE!!!" and go lay in a fetal position on the sideline
b) go get a touchdown, champ. you deserve it!
c) richard nixon
d) run into the first defender you see and fall, hoping it's not ray lewis
if you answered a, b, or c you'd be wrong. also if you answered d you'd be incorrecto mundo. the correct answer is:
e) run down to the 1 yard line and take a knee keeping the clock moving and guaranteeing your team four shots from the one.
well check out the guy who knew and did all of this
to appreciate the brilliance of this play just listen to the commentators, all smart guys, musing about whether or not the jets, who had no timeouts, should just let the jags score and try to get the ball back with enough time to put together a drive to tie the game. maurice jones-drew knew that the jets might be thinking that. he saw that they were indeed not going to tackle him. so he decided that rather than give them about 1:30 to work down the field he would take a knee at the one, insuring that the clock continued to tick. that, my friends, is a genius level understanding of game situations from a still underrated player. behold.
ANNOUNCEMENT, BITCHES!
the man of every hour just stepped into the building! and he came bearing announcements for ya'lls punk ass. you know how occasionally myself and like HIM and Sporty and shit hijack DARK's bitch ass little forum and shit? well he decided (i don't get it why) to let me and luscious and like sporty and have our own profiles on his "team". honestly, right, i don't even really even wanna, like, do this for real, nah mean? but i guess i ain't even got no choice. iun even do dude like that. but
alright let me drop the act. dude said he was gonna give me my own profile on this blog because, he's "doing all the work promoting the groups ideas" or whatever. i don't know where he got this so called "group" from (dude's mad weird, yo) but i guess if he's gonna follow me around i could maybe, sorta, write down my thoughts, too. i don't care. i'm out here tryna take over the world. i'm gone! bitches...
alright let me drop the act. dude said he was gonna give me my own profile on this blog because, he's "doing all the work promoting the groups ideas" or whatever. i don't know where he got this so called "group" from (dude's mad weird, yo) but i guess if he's gonna follow me around i could maybe, sorta, write down my thoughts, too. i don't care. i'm out here tryna take over the world. i'm gone! bitches...
Thursday, October 29, 2009
behold the purply rnb goodness that is h-town & jodeci (by drewfus mclovin)
behold ladies and germs, real rnb straight from the annuls of 1992! behold as the houston crooners h-town and charlotte's vocal suavisimos jodeci take the culture back to a time when sessy music didn't need no stinking lab tricks. back to a day when all you needed was two or three homies (or brothers, or cousins) to back yo sangin' ass up and a few harmonies and spladow! you had a panty dampening hit! no voice modulators, 'ceptin of course the uber cool (because of, not despite the fact that it was used so well soooo sparingly) synthesizer. remember computer love? me too! thanks zapp & roger! anyway, this song is such hot buttered goodness that even my friend, luscious manwellington, said "i just wanna simmer this song in its own juices and sop it up with a biscuit." i don't know what that means either but from him, it's about as good as it gets. anyway, this song makes me wanna throw on my lavender linen suit with minty green ascot and walk down the beach outside my villa with no shoes on, then go back inside and lay spme lucky lady down on a bed rose petals and give her a standing ovation, but that's just me...
Thursday, October 15, 2009
the 30 senators that voted against the anti-rape bill
picture this: a freshmen senator from Minnesota is set to sponsor his first bill. he knows, given his background as a comedian and comedy writer, that he must pick a subject for this bill that is an absolute, foolproof, 100% slam dunk, home run issue that everyone agrees on. he also knows that he must pick a very serious issue or else run the risk that some of his more vicious opposition could dismiss it as the musings of a comic playing politician for shits and giggles, or a writer simply using congress to prepare his memoirs. we all know that limbaugh and o'reilly would tear into him, and beck would, like, cry or whatever. ahile pondering all these things, an issue comes gift-wrapped to his office door: halliburton KBR, a dick cheney founded oil company with a small fortune in government contracts, had silenced a woman who, while working for the company in the middle east, was gang raped by company employees, then shoved in a crate when she threatened to take action against the assholes that did it. well, she would eventually make it back stateside, upon which time she attempts to take action against KBR for allowing this to occur. as it turned out KBR (which i assume stands for Keeps Bush's Rich) had written what amounted to a "no sexual harassment suites" clause into all contracts. excuse me *cough*howthefuckdoesanevilfuckingcorporationlikehalliburtonstillgetgovernmentmoneythislongaftepeoplewhobenefitareoutofpower*cough* sorry about that. anyway, in this atrocity this man might see his bill. a bill that would prevent atrocities like this from ever happening on the taxpayers dime again. surely this would be his absolute, foolproof, 100% slam dunk, home run of a bill that everyone agreed on. this issue would surely inspire no opposition. there was no possible way that even the staunchest opposers could see any gain, political or otherwise, in opposing a bill that would prevent government contractees from preventing rape victims from seeking even the slightest semblance of retribution from the employers that facilitated their ordeal. this would e the rare bill that got unanimous support from the senate.
you don't have to picture it, because it really happened. al franken is a freshman senator from minnesota. he is a former comedian and comedy writer. senator franken did face that dilemma and this mythical bill was his. and it passed. it received overwhelming bipartisan support. let me repeat, it received OVERWHELMING BIPARTISAN SUPPORT. but overwhelming is not synonymous with unanimous, which is the level of support the 2010 Defense Appropriations bill, or rather mr. franken's ammendment that would prevent contractors from denying litigation for victims of sexual misconduct, did not get. which means this seemingly unoffensive bill offended somebody enough to vote nay.
there were 98 senators present for this vote. none voted present, 68 voted aye. the ayes had it. but what about the rest of the senators? that leaves 1-2-3-4... 30! 30 nay votes on the let rape victims get their retribution bill! who were these people? who could possibly vote nay on this bill? i'll give you a hint: none of them had a little d by their name. none had an i by their name either. they were:
Alexander (R-TN)
Barrasso (R-WY)
Bond (R-MO)
Brownback (R-KS)
Bunning (R-KY)
Burr (R-NC)
Chambliss (R-GA)
Coburn (R-OK)
Cochran (R-MS)
Corker (R-TN)
Cornyn (R-TX)
Crapo (R-ID)
DeMint (R-SC)
Ensign (R-NV)
Enzi (R-WY)
Graham (R-SC)
Gregg (R-NH)
Inhofe (R-OK)
Isakson (R-GA)
Johanns (R-NE)
Kyl (R-AZ)
McCain (R-AZ)
McConnell (R-KY)
Risch (R-ID)
Roberts (R-KS)
Sessions (R-AL)
Shelby (R-AL)
Thune (R-SD)
Vitter (R-LA)
Wicker (R-MS)
so what was the reason that many of these so called public servants voted against this benevolent bill? apparently some senators don't see that government has the authority to dictate to those on the govenrnment payroll how they should conduct government sponsored business. never mind that some of these practices may be criminal. but hark, many of these "distinguished" "ladies" and "gentlemen" are the same that stood upon the soapbox to cut the government funding to ACORN, a non profit that provides housing, job training, and voter registration for low income (read black and latino) communities, because of some amateur video that showed a few rogue agents going against protocol. oh, and they also happen to be a liberal group that supported the Obama campaign. why was there such vitriol about government funding when it was ACORN and such opposition to the same sort of controls when good ol' cheneyburton Keeps Bush's Rich is involved? hypocrisy.
all jokes aside, the scariest name on this list? McCain. he could have been our president. luckily, a number of these people will likely lose their seat next year. demint and ensign are as good as gone. my charge to the reader is to see that all 30 of these seats change in the next 6 years. lets start with the 2010ers. we here at DIUU will make it our mission to see that any public official that would dare take the side of a corporation that would allow you to be raped without so much as a "my bad" over your safety, any public official that is more concerned with destroying their opponents across the aisle than serving the community they represent be removed from office through impeachment or through the election process. we make no exceptions. we play no sides. we do not desire that one arty win out over another, our goal is simply to remove ineffective or compromised public officials from their positions of power. it is time we the people of the united states of america flexed our muscles. it is pertinent that we end this washingtonian cronyism through our vote and our protest. i promise that i will do more than scream about these injustices from the sanctity of my DARK fortress. my first target? Richard Burr of North Carolina. Mr. senator, you are official on my list.
you don't have to picture it, because it really happened. al franken is a freshman senator from minnesota. he is a former comedian and comedy writer. senator franken did face that dilemma and this mythical bill was his. and it passed. it received overwhelming bipartisan support. let me repeat, it received OVERWHELMING BIPARTISAN SUPPORT. but overwhelming is not synonymous with unanimous, which is the level of support the 2010 Defense Appropriations bill, or rather mr. franken's ammendment that would prevent contractors from denying litigation for victims of sexual misconduct, did not get. which means this seemingly unoffensive bill offended somebody enough to vote nay.
there were 98 senators present for this vote. none voted present, 68 voted aye. the ayes had it. but what about the rest of the senators? that leaves 1-2-3-4... 30! 30 nay votes on the let rape victims get their retribution bill! who were these people? who could possibly vote nay on this bill? i'll give you a hint: none of them had a little d by their name. none had an i by their name either. they were:
Alexander (R-TN)
Barrasso (R-WY)
Bond (R-MO)
Brownback (R-KS)
Bunning (R-KY)
Burr (R-NC)
Chambliss (R-GA)
Coburn (R-OK)
Cochran (R-MS)
Corker (R-TN)
Cornyn (R-TX)
Crapo (R-ID)
DeMint (R-SC)
Ensign (R-NV)
Enzi (R-WY)
Graham (R-SC)
Gregg (R-NH)
Inhofe (R-OK)
Isakson (R-GA)
Johanns (R-NE)
Kyl (R-AZ)
McCain (R-AZ)
McConnell (R-KY)
Risch (R-ID)
Roberts (R-KS)
Sessions (R-AL)
Shelby (R-AL)
Thune (R-SD)
Vitter (R-LA)
Wicker (R-MS)
so what was the reason that many of these so called public servants voted against this benevolent bill? apparently some senators don't see that government has the authority to dictate to those on the govenrnment payroll how they should conduct government sponsored business. never mind that some of these practices may be criminal. but hark, many of these "distinguished" "ladies" and "gentlemen" are the same that stood upon the soapbox to cut the government funding to ACORN, a non profit that provides housing, job training, and voter registration for low income (read black and latino) communities, because of some amateur video that showed a few rogue agents going against protocol. oh, and they also happen to be a liberal group that supported the Obama campaign. why was there such vitriol about government funding when it was ACORN and such opposition to the same sort of controls when good ol' cheneyburton Keeps Bush's Rich is involved? hypocrisy.
all jokes aside, the scariest name on this list? McCain. he could have been our president. luckily, a number of these people will likely lose their seat next year. demint and ensign are as good as gone. my charge to the reader is to see that all 30 of these seats change in the next 6 years. lets start with the 2010ers. we here at DIUU will make it our mission to see that any public official that would dare take the side of a corporation that would allow you to be raped without so much as a "my bad" over your safety, any public official that is more concerned with destroying their opponents across the aisle than serving the community they represent be removed from office through impeachment or through the election process. we make no exceptions. we play no sides. we do not desire that one arty win out over another, our goal is simply to remove ineffective or compromised public officials from their positions of power. it is time we the people of the united states of america flexed our muscles. it is pertinent that we end this washingtonian cronyism through our vote and our protest. i promise that i will do more than scream about these injustices from the sanctity of my DARK fortress. my first target? Richard Burr of North Carolina. Mr. senator, you are official on my list.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
sporty steinbergmanthol: the cutest shit ever!
:'-} look at the baby, awwwww! gents and lasses, this is what sports is about. sharing moments with loved ones. there's nothing quite like a day at the ballpark with dear old dad. and in this age where their are people who would scare you out of health care and those who would rather talk about jackass rappers, it is refreshing to see a human interest story that is completely organic. and just look at that sweetie baby bookie bookie boop!!! i happen to have a year old niece who would have done the exact same thing and been just as precious doing it. this moment just gets me right there. you know where, in the heart string area. and men, take a look at the dad. look at his face when he does things with his daughter. see how fulfilled and content he is? this is what you miss out on when you skirt your responsibilities to your offspring. look at this face! that coulda been you deadbeat dads!
ps: the phillies gave the whole family personalized jerseys, and gave the dad an autographed replacement ball, so he made out pretty good for the price of a night of baseball with his family.
and all this on the heels of this kid doing his thing. this is a great year for dads and there kids going to baseball games.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
weaveless tyra: a DARKdays message to the ladies
recently on her now syndicated talk show (*martin voice* you go girl) former supermodel and all around beauty tyra banks gave her audience a revelation: her real hair! much to my surprise (and for that matter my delight) she wasn't bald! not that there's anything wrong with short haired girls, hell there are some sexy short haired girls, like halle berry back in the day. but tyra has long pretty black hair. faithful followers, i must ask: why do our women feel it's necessary to hide their real hair? i don't know of any man who has looked at a girl and said anything to the effect of "look at that girl, she bad as shit! damn i sure do wish she had a butt load of horse hair in her head! or even better hair that somebody else grew! that shit would be sexy!" i know that there's the idea that guys like long hair, but ladies, i'm going to let you in a secret. are you listening? good cause i'm only saying this once... GUYS LIKE GIRLS! we don't care that your hair is this way or that, we like you for your vagina and lady parts! and sometimes your personality, too. sure we appreciate the things that ladies have that are beautiful, like for instance if a girl has long, luxurious locks we do like that, but only if it is HER long, luxurious locks growing from HER scalp. we appreciate a girl with gorgeous green, blue, grey, or hazel eyes if the iris that we see is attatched to the rest of the organ. take it from me, it is a major turn off to find out that one of the things that has attracted us to a young lady was merely the clever rouse dreamt up by some mickey mouse corporation to fool us into mating. hell, if you're like me a guy like me then you don't even like girls to chemically alter their hair. not that there's anything wrong with that.
ladies, i understand that women can be especially harsh to one another, and at times you feel like you have to live up to their standards, but you shouldn't let others dictate your beauty to you. that's why i applaud tyra for doing this. in the world she lives in appearance is everything and extentions are almost a requiremnt for even the longest haired out there. she has always been one to tear down standards of beauty, whether it's challenging the notion of the 00 fashion model or becoming the first black to grace the cover of the SI swimsuit issue, or even just making a girl feel better about herself through her show, she has always been an advocate for young women everywhere. and this isn't anything new for her. she's already done a show sans makeup and a show with no bra during her career. so ladies, please stop wearing weave. that's really not a good look.
OBAMA INDOCTRINATES SCHOOL CHILDREN!
ATTENTION ALL! EARLIER TODAY, GRAND WIZARD HIGH CHIEF LORD VICEROY FUHRER OBAMA THE HORRIBLE, DESCENDANT OF HAGAR, HYPNOTIZED OUR CHILDREN INTO LIBERAL ZOMBIE DRONES AND HAS UNLEASHED THEM ON OUR UNSUSPECTING COUNTRY TO SPREAD THE EVILS OF HEALTH CARE FOR ALL CITIZENS, HOPE, INTELLIGENCE AND, MOST EVIL OF ALL, CHANGE!!!!! HIS DIABOLICAL SCHEME CAME TO FRUITION THIS MORNING WHEN HE COMMANDED HIS NEWLY SPAWNED OBAMOIDS TO PERFORM SUCH BRASHLY UNAMERICAN TASKS AS PAYING ATTENTION IN SCHOOL, APPLYING THEIR LESSONS TO REAL WORLD SITUATIONS IN THEIR FUTURE "CAREERS", AND SETTING EDUCATIONAL GOALS FOR THEMSELVES THEN WORKING TOWARD THEM! SUCH HEINOUS DISREGARD FOR OUR CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT TO STUPIDITY IS NOTHING SHORT OF THE WORK OF A FASCIST TYRANT WHO MUST BE STOPPED! HE IN HIS INFINITE EVIL GENIUS SAW FIT TO BRAINWASH OUR CHILDREN INTO THINKING THAT IT WAS OK TO FAIL BECAUSE NOT EVERYTHING WE TRY WILL SUCCEED AT FIRST. AS IF THAT WASN'T COMMUNIST ENOUGH, HE THEN SAW FIT TO ENCOURAGE THEM TO TRY TRY AGAIN IF AT FIRST THEY DON'T SUCCEED. HOW LOW CAN A MAN GET? HE ANGLED TO FOOL THEM INTO SUCH NAZI BEHAVIORS AS STANDING UP FOR THE LESS FORTUNATE, WORKING TO END POVERTY AND FIND NEW RENEWABLE ENERGY SOURCES THAT WE CAN MAKE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY, AND GETTING INVOLVED IN "EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES" SEE? HE WANTS OUR CHILDREN TO BE ACTIVE. WHAT A SOCIALIST NAZI COMMUNIST HE IS. HE EVEN HAD THE NERVE TO COERCE STUDENTS INTO TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR OWN ACTIONS.
PATRIOTS, GRAND PUBA OVERLORD DON BARACK "GENGHIS" OBAMA THE DASTARDLY, THE MAN WHO WOULD FORCE OUR CHILDREN TO WASH THEIR HANDS AND STAY HOME TO PREVENT H1N1 FROM SPREADING, IS A FASCIST GUERILLA HUN BEAST WHO WANTS OUR KIDS SMART AND EUROPEAN. THAT'S RIGHT, HE WANTS TO TURN OUR KIDS INTO THE FRENCH! HE'S MUSSOLINI! NO HE'S WORSE THAN MUSSOLINI, HE'S NAPOLEON! HE'S HITLER INCARNATE! HE'S THE ANCESTOR OF ATTILA! HE'S THE SPAWN OF THE GREAT GOJIRA! HE'S, HE'S.... MANBEARPIG! WE MUST WORK TO RECONVERT OUR CHILDREN INTO THE IGNORANT, GOD-FEARING, XENOPHOBIC PALINITES THEY WERE BEFORE THIS CEREBRAL ASSAULT FROM TYRANT MONSTER DEMON SEED BIG-BAD-WOLFISH MUTANT TERRORIST COUNT OBAMA THE UNSEEMLY. YOU KNOW, LIKE THE FOUNDING FATHERS WANTED!!! WE MUST SAVE THEM BECAUSE GOD FORBID
a black man who happens to be a democrat might have the message our nations youth need to hear right now. stop this madness.
PATRIOTS, GRAND PUBA OVERLORD DON BARACK "GENGHIS" OBAMA THE DASTARDLY, THE MAN WHO WOULD FORCE OUR CHILDREN TO WASH THEIR HANDS AND STAY HOME TO PREVENT H1N1 FROM SPREADING, IS A FASCIST GUERILLA HUN BEAST WHO WANTS OUR KIDS SMART AND EUROPEAN. THAT'S RIGHT, HE WANTS TO TURN OUR KIDS INTO THE FRENCH! HE'S MUSSOLINI! NO HE'S WORSE THAN MUSSOLINI, HE'S NAPOLEON! HE'S HITLER INCARNATE! HE'S THE ANCESTOR OF ATTILA! HE'S THE SPAWN OF THE GREAT GOJIRA! HE'S, HE'S.... MANBEARPIG! WE MUST WORK TO RECONVERT OUR CHILDREN INTO THE IGNORANT, GOD-FEARING, XENOPHOBIC PALINITES THEY WERE BEFORE THIS CEREBRAL ASSAULT FROM TYRANT MONSTER DEMON SEED BIG-BAD-WOLFISH MUTANT TERRORIST COUNT OBAMA THE UNSEEMLY. YOU KNOW, LIKE THE FOUNDING FATHERS WANTED!!! WE MUST SAVE THEM BECAUSE GOD FORBID
a black man who happens to be a democrat might have the message our nations youth need to hear right now. stop this madness.
Friday, September 4, 2009
0-4? (a blog by HIM [as dictated by sporty steinbergmanthol])
boy oh boy. i know they say that the preseason football games are mainly glorified practices, but 0-4? really? oh fer, that's really all you can give me? well, panthers, i for one ain't impressed. you've had 4 "practices" to adjust to new systems, new coaches, and new philosophies. you've had 4 "practices" to "gauge your talent" and figure out who can do what. you've had 4 "practices" to show any sign of life from that remarkable 12-4 record of the season past. it appears that you, panthers, have instead proven that the bumbling, outclassed shell of a team that reared it's head 8 months ago in that playoff game against the 9-7 cardinals is who you guys really are. i ain't impressed! so this inexplicable thing you guys have of not putting back to back winning seasons together is happening again, huh? i know you can't put that much stake in the preseason, after all the lions went 4-0 last year in the preseason before having the reverse perfect season (when you think about it, going winless is pretty impressive in a way, i mean, that level of ineptitude is astounding). it could turn out that the panthers flip the script on the lions and have the second undefeated regular season in 3 years. or they could go 5-11. or 13-3. the point is the preseason dosen't mean shit. but if you ascribe to the "preseason is a gauge for regular season performance" then you have every right to be worried. as for me? let's just say they need to show me something....
Friday, August 28, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
game changers
so apparently america's pissy little children of politics, the republican party, can't get it through their fuckin heads that they had their turn and its time to share. apparently according to many republican senators, and confirmed by rachel maddow, the democrats need to get 75 or 80 votes to pass health care. so i decided to inquire into which orifice these people (and i use that term loosely) unceremoniously yanked this 80% requirement. considering the us constitution requires a mere majority (51 votes or fifty and Joe Biden) hell, dems even conceded to the republicans the filibuster which requires a 60 vote majority to overturn, then proceded to put baby in a corner by winning 60 senate seats (yay al franken!). okay so where in the blue crossed/blue shielded hell did they come up with a 75-80% majority... as a launching point? so i checked the constitution and nowhere does it require more than majority. checked the ammendments: no 75% senate vote for bill ratification ammendment (though the 20th changed the dates of terms). checked case law precedent: found results about indonesian vendors, corporate business contracts, and senator vivian davis figures but no 75 vote majority in the senate. i was perplexed, and a little dejected. would a political party really have no precedent for such an outrageous figure?
then it dawned on me like dish detergent on a greasy pan: they don't want this bill to pass at all!! it's always bugged me that this rebel party would always seem to undermine the best interest of the people they claim to serve if it would increase their power, or, worse, just to stick it to the dems. they're like that kid who got told to sit out, so they kicked the ball into the neighbors yard. this is party that would rATHER HURT EVERYBODY THAn let the other guys win. you know those movies where the bad guy gets his ass kicked, and rather than just accept that his ass is kicked, he hits the self destruct button and takes everybody down with him? that's the republican party right now, and that's exactly what will happen if health care is defeated. but the pussy dems look lie they're going to sit back and let this affront on american politics slide! well i wont. those who are responsible for concocting this cockamamie scheme, this albatross, this unicorn of 75 senate votes as a requirement to pass health care must be set straight. they have to be forced to accept that they can't cheat us out of our necessities. besides the system is set up so that changes can take place, we oughta use it. so here's my proposal: every republican calling for a fillibuster on health care, or for a ridiculous majority, or for some bs bipartisan bill must write "universal health care is not a socialist conspiracy" over 1000 pages. and anyone who falls for any of the bs surrounding this issue (death panels and what not) must eat their words before the can become a real people like you and me, dear reader. after all, anything that tastes so gnarly must be good for you. and god knows they need to eat right, i mean, it's not like they have health care.
ps, check this out
then it dawned on me like dish detergent on a greasy pan: they don't want this bill to pass at all!! it's always bugged me that this rebel party would always seem to undermine the best interest of the people they claim to serve if it would increase their power, or, worse, just to stick it to the dems. they're like that kid who got told to sit out, so they kicked the ball into the neighbors yard. this is party that would rATHER HURT EVERYBODY THAn let the other guys win. you know those movies where the bad guy gets his ass kicked, and rather than just accept that his ass is kicked, he hits the self destruct button and takes everybody down with him? that's the republican party right now, and that's exactly what will happen if health care is defeated. but the pussy dems look lie they're going to sit back and let this affront on american politics slide! well i wont. those who are responsible for concocting this cockamamie scheme, this albatross, this unicorn of 75 senate votes as a requirement to pass health care must be set straight. they have to be forced to accept that they can't cheat us out of our necessities. besides the system is set up so that changes can take place, we oughta use it. so here's my proposal: every republican calling for a fillibuster on health care, or for a ridiculous majority, or for some bs bipartisan bill must write "universal health care is not a socialist conspiracy" over 1000 pages. and anyone who falls for any of the bs surrounding this issue (death panels and what not) must eat their words before the can become a real people like you and me, dear reader. after all, anything that tastes so gnarly must be good for you. and god knows they need to eat right, i mean, it's not like they have health care.
ps, check this out
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
i cannot remain silent
"...And what country can preserve its liberties, if its rulers are not warned from time to time, that this people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them take arms. The remedy is to set them right as to the facts, pardon and pacify them. What signify a few lives lost in a century or two? The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time, with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is its natural manure."
those words are from our favorite slave-owning, slave-screwing founding father thomas jefferson. they are in reference to the necessity of waging war against the british if the colonies wanted their independence ("colonies" is a minor misnomer, but that's for another blog). what they were not in reference to was the citizenry protesting necessary reform. of course that means someone out there is going to interpret them that way. i think we can forget the fuck-up of the week awards for the rest of 2009 and just give it to this guy William Kostric. for those who dont know, kostric is the chump who carried a sidearm to an obama health care "town hall" along with a sign reading "it's time to water the liberty tree" hmm... sound familiar? it's a reference to the jeffersonian "the tree of liberty must be refreshed with the blood of tyrants and patriots" bit. now lets put two and two together. a man wearing a pistol with a sign that calls for the blood of tyrants (three guesses who that is) at an obama rally. raise any eyebrows 'round yer way? if it dosen't perhaps this interview will:
now if a man with a gun at a presidential event carrying a sign that calls for blood that sounds as blah about it as this dickwad doesn't raise your tim mcvey/david rudolph meter to at least 8 (mines at 11, but im a nervous nellie) you're effn whacked. by the way, Cenk Uygur, Host of The Young Turks, compared this guy to mcvey in his huffington post blog. he also raised an interesting quandary: what if two, ten of these assholes show up at the next obama function? will people think its so harmless then?
speaking of harmless, one media outlet had the audacity to defend kostric's actions because they were legal. cbs.com blogger Declan McCullagh wrote a blog that had the gall to chastise the news media for condemning the action. his blog
"Gun-Toting Man Draws Scrutiny Outside Obama Town Hall" defends kostric's actions saying:
"New Hampshire state law is pretty clear about protecting its citizens' rights to carry firearms in public. Carrying a pistol or revolver openly is permitted without a license; carrying a concealed weapon requires a license from the state or local police.
William Kostric took advantage of that law on Tuesday to show up outside President Obama's Portsmouth, N.H. town hall meeting and hold a sign saying "It Is Time To Water The Tree Of Liberty." That invokes a phrase from a letter written by Thomas Jefferson: "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants."
note a few things about that opening: he mentions a new hampshire state law allowing people to carry guns openly, which kostric was. only he NEVER MENTIONS THAT KOSTRIC HAD A GUN! in fact i looked up new hampshire's gun laws.
Carry
It is unlawful to carry a loaded handgun in any vehicle or concealed about one's person without a license.
Exceptions to the above prohibition are:
* Carrying in one's dwelling, house or place of business.
* Law enforcement and military personnel when on duty.
* Organizations authorized by law to purchase or receive firearms.
A person may carry a handgun openly upon his person or unloaded and exposed or locked up in a vehicle without a license to carry.
looking at the law, it allows for a person to carry a hand gun openly, no arguments the bastard didn't break any laws. i never am one to advocate against our constitutional rights.
but this isn't about rights. this is about the meaning of the message and the possible affects of it. when you brandish symbols that advocate the murder of people, in this case the tyrant, grand-lord emir obama, and brandish a weapon you go beyond the realm of public discourse and into other territory. true, it's not as flashy as a burning cross or as auspicious as a hanging effigy, or even as blunt as a swastika painted on david scott's office door but the message is clear. you want to kill this tyrant.
and that, my dear mccullagh, is what these pundits that you take such joy in chastising are bitching about. which brings me to this quote:
"you'd hope that television commentators would take the time to learn at least a little before calling for measures such as court injunctions and disarming by police"
well, i'm sure chris matthews does his homework, but he ain't debunking the law. he's talking about the message that this incident sends. speaking of the law, here's mccullagh's final argument:
"... a lawsuit filed last week in Washington, D.C. seeks to establish a broad Second Amendment right to carry firearms in public -- which, if successful, could mean that William Kostric's exercise in public handgun ownership will become much more commonplace. "
let's dissect mr. mccullagh's statement. for one thousands of lawsuits are filed daily. using a filed lawsuit to expand a law as evidence to support the actions of this man is tantamount to defending charles manson because he never actually committed those murders. legal or not, these actions SHOULD raise red flags in the eyes of any reasonable person. you don't bring a firearm to a political rally, ESPECIALLY if that politician is the first balck president, period, notwithstanding if you're holding a sign that calls for blood. given our nations history with race relations, in which the two biggest black civil rights leaders and the president that heard their call to action were assassinated, you gotta wonder how this guy thought his display would be taken.
next, its a little presumptuous to assume that a successful case WILL prompt people to carry firearms to all manner of public forums again (i can't wait to see guns in school and .22 totin' preachers). lets face it: court decisions, even highly publicized ones, take time to catch on. hell, after the Brown v. board of education decision was publicized, 9 of the millions of black students in the country integrated a school. it took years (and the national guard, and a few additional court rulings)for integration to complete itself. and this is one of the biggest court decisions ever. so fie on your logic mccullagh!
those words are from our favorite slave-owning, slave-screwing founding father thomas jefferson. they are in reference to the necessity of waging war against the british if the colonies wanted their independence ("colonies" is a minor misnomer, but that's for another blog). what they were not in reference to was the citizenry protesting necessary reform. of course that means someone out there is going to interpret them that way. i think we can forget the fuck-up of the week awards for the rest of 2009 and just give it to this guy William Kostric. for those who dont know, kostric is the chump who carried a sidearm to an obama health care "town hall" along with a sign reading "it's time to water the liberty tree" hmm... sound familiar? it's a reference to the jeffersonian "the tree of liberty must be refreshed with the blood of tyrants and patriots" bit. now lets put two and two together. a man wearing a pistol with a sign that calls for the blood of tyrants (three guesses who that is) at an obama rally. raise any eyebrows 'round yer way? if it dosen't perhaps this interview will:
now if a man with a gun at a presidential event carrying a sign that calls for blood that sounds as blah about it as this dickwad doesn't raise your tim mcvey/david rudolph meter to at least 8 (mines at 11, but im a nervous nellie) you're effn whacked. by the way, Cenk Uygur, Host of The Young Turks, compared this guy to mcvey in his huffington post blog. he also raised an interesting quandary: what if two, ten of these assholes show up at the next obama function? will people think its so harmless then?
speaking of harmless, one media outlet had the audacity to defend kostric's actions because they were legal. cbs.com blogger Declan McCullagh wrote a blog that had the gall to chastise the news media for condemning the action. his blog
"Gun-Toting Man Draws Scrutiny Outside Obama Town Hall" defends kostric's actions saying:
"New Hampshire state law is pretty clear about protecting its citizens' rights to carry firearms in public. Carrying a pistol or revolver openly is permitted without a license; carrying a concealed weapon requires a license from the state or local police.
William Kostric took advantage of that law on Tuesday to show up outside President Obama's Portsmouth, N.H. town hall meeting and hold a sign saying "It Is Time To Water The Tree Of Liberty." That invokes a phrase from a letter written by Thomas Jefferson: "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants."
note a few things about that opening: he mentions a new hampshire state law allowing people to carry guns openly, which kostric was. only he NEVER MENTIONS THAT KOSTRIC HAD A GUN! in fact i looked up new hampshire's gun laws.
Carry
It is unlawful to carry a loaded handgun in any vehicle or concealed about one's person without a license.
Exceptions to the above prohibition are:
* Carrying in one's dwelling, house or place of business.
* Law enforcement and military personnel when on duty.
* Organizations authorized by law to purchase or receive firearms.
A person may carry a handgun openly upon his person or unloaded and exposed or locked up in a vehicle without a license to carry.
looking at the law, it allows for a person to carry a hand gun openly, no arguments the bastard didn't break any laws. i never am one to advocate against our constitutional rights.
but this isn't about rights. this is about the meaning of the message and the possible affects of it. when you brandish symbols that advocate the murder of people, in this case the tyrant, grand-lord emir obama, and brandish a weapon you go beyond the realm of public discourse and into other territory. true, it's not as flashy as a burning cross or as auspicious as a hanging effigy, or even as blunt as a swastika painted on david scott's office door but the message is clear. you want to kill this tyrant.
and that, my dear mccullagh, is what these pundits that you take such joy in chastising are bitching about. which brings me to this quote:
"you'd hope that television commentators would take the time to learn at least a little before calling for measures such as court injunctions and disarming by police"
well, i'm sure chris matthews does his homework, but he ain't debunking the law. he's talking about the message that this incident sends. speaking of the law, here's mccullagh's final argument:
"... a lawsuit filed last week in Washington, D.C. seeks to establish a broad Second Amendment right to carry firearms in public -- which, if successful, could mean that William Kostric's exercise in public handgun ownership will become much more commonplace. "
let's dissect mr. mccullagh's statement. for one thousands of lawsuits are filed daily. using a filed lawsuit to expand a law as evidence to support the actions of this man is tantamount to defending charles manson because he never actually committed those murders. legal or not, these actions SHOULD raise red flags in the eyes of any reasonable person. you don't bring a firearm to a political rally, ESPECIALLY if that politician is the first balck president, period, notwithstanding if you're holding a sign that calls for blood. given our nations history with race relations, in which the two biggest black civil rights leaders and the president that heard their call to action were assassinated, you gotta wonder how this guy thought his display would be taken.
next, its a little presumptuous to assume that a successful case WILL prompt people to carry firearms to all manner of public forums again (i can't wait to see guns in school and .22 totin' preachers). lets face it: court decisions, even highly publicized ones, take time to catch on. hell, after the Brown v. board of education decision was publicized, 9 of the millions of black students in the country integrated a school. it took years (and the national guard, and a few additional court rulings)for integration to complete itself. and this is one of the biggest court decisions ever. so fie on your logic mccullagh!
Thursday, August 6, 2009
great moments in nomenclature
in honor of the great basketball name Fab Melo, a top 5 prospect in the 2010 class, your dark warrior has decided to compile a list of the most intriguing names of all time. i call this list the DDisUU hall of nomencalture inaugural class:
leading off we have the man with the meanest, toughest most painfully awesome man name ever:
Staff Sergeant Max Fightmaster (actual army officer)
next we have the most interesting baby name:
Thor Wang (father chinese, mother swedish)
here we have most unintentionally awesome name:
Batman Bin Suparman
here's the passport poto that proves it!
list time!
basketball:
1. God Shammgod - and thou shalt rejoice in him
2. Gregor Fucka - he told you!
3. Chief Kickingstallionsims - where did he get this name and how can i be down?
football:
1. Atari Bigby - just damn good
2. Mac Speedie - he was a wideout. perfect
3. Lucuous Pusey - think about it...
4. Dick Butkus - legendary man, legendarily named
baseball:
1. Jung Bong - get high
2. Urban Shocker - sounds like an anti hero
3.
soccer:
1. Norman Conquest
leading off we have the man with the meanest, toughest most painfully awesome man name ever:
Staff Sergeant Max Fightmaster (actual army officer)
next we have the most interesting baby name:
Thor Wang (father chinese, mother swedish)
here we have most unintentionally awesome name:
Batman Bin Suparman
here's the passport poto that proves it!
list time!
basketball:
1. God Shammgod - and thou shalt rejoice in him
2. Gregor Fucka - he told you!
3. Chief Kickingstallionsims - where did he get this name and how can i be down?
football:
1. Atari Bigby - just damn good
2. Mac Speedie - he was a wideout. perfect
3. Lucuous Pusey - think about it...
4. Dick Butkus - legendary man, legendarily named
baseball:
1. Jung Bong - get high
2. Urban Shocker - sounds like an anti hero
3.
soccer:
1. Norman Conquest
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
birth of the blues
They says they was a man
But they ain’t sho’
Don’t nobody know what was this mans home
He don’t got a mama o’ a pappy
Aun brutha o’ sista
Alls he got’s his gitar and a his saaaad sad song
His balls and his word
But dontcha go on aksin him
Cuz he wont tell
Lawd jesus could he play
Eva note the tears o’ the devil
Let me tell it the devil his self
They say he wont born
He like not to eva’ exist
Nary a picture of him ‘round
They say he was come to the cross roads
Full grown, a go’geus black man
Lands a’mighty he shone like wood fire
Beside this man was a gitar carved from
Black oak with strangs a’gold
He git up and looked
Left, was desert, right was a forest
Trees fulla that there
Strange fruit
And ahead was blacker than the heart
That made him
So black ya couldn’t see ya eyes close
And it was sweet as revenge
They say they was a road yonder
Plain as day it shone through that darkness
And it was anotha’n run ‘cross it
He aint know why or what, but he know
He gotta cross that road
And there he go, holdin’ fast to
His flesh bound book
Skin was white as snow in the moonlight
Eyes burned like whip ‘cross yo back
With the finest zoot suit yo’ eyes did see
He was beautiful
And this man called to that butha
And told him he would change the world
If he would give up his soul
If’n he he was a man ‘fore this
He might’na knowed what’d happen
But he wasn’t
He was newborn, green, a lil’ sapplin
And this here beautiful man was a full tit
Offerin’ him the great I am
The world for a soul and a suck
This man they say look at his gitar
Then he look at the snow white stranga’
He say he’d give anythin’ a make that
black and gold moan
And he prick his own fanga
And sign his name in that stranga’s book
Not even ‘fore the blood dry
This here wood fired man o’ ash and coal
Strum them strangs
And sounds man aint neva know poured out
The tears o’ the devil
They say that strange fruit jump down
from the tree, and move like
Like this man plucked Gawd’s breath outta that
Gitar
man look around for the stranga
But he was gone
Nuthin but the smell o’ sulfur and burnin’ flesh
Left behind
And a note that say
“See ya’ in 27 years my boy”
So he was born
Black man sho’ nuff like no other
And ever act to come there afta’
Would know the name
O’ Robert Johnson
But they ain’t sho’
Don’t nobody know what was this mans home
He don’t got a mama o’ a pappy
Aun brutha o’ sista
Alls he got’s his gitar and a his saaaad sad song
His balls and his word
But dontcha go on aksin him
Cuz he wont tell
Lawd jesus could he play
Eva note the tears o’ the devil
Let me tell it the devil his self
They say he wont born
He like not to eva’ exist
Nary a picture of him ‘round
They say he was come to the cross roads
Full grown, a go’geus black man
Lands a’mighty he shone like wood fire
Beside this man was a gitar carved from
Black oak with strangs a’gold
He git up and looked
Left, was desert, right was a forest
Trees fulla that there
Strange fruit
And ahead was blacker than the heart
That made him
So black ya couldn’t see ya eyes close
And it was sweet as revenge
They say they was a road yonder
Plain as day it shone through that darkness
And it was anotha’n run ‘cross it
He aint know why or what, but he know
He gotta cross that road
And there he go, holdin’ fast to
His flesh bound book
Skin was white as snow in the moonlight
Eyes burned like whip ‘cross yo back
With the finest zoot suit yo’ eyes did see
He was beautiful
And this man called to that butha
And told him he would change the world
If he would give up his soul
If’n he he was a man ‘fore this
He might’na knowed what’d happen
But he wasn’t
He was newborn, green, a lil’ sapplin
And this here beautiful man was a full tit
Offerin’ him the great I am
The world for a soul and a suck
This man they say look at his gitar
Then he look at the snow white stranga’
He say he’d give anythin’ a make that
black and gold moan
And he prick his own fanga
And sign his name in that stranga’s book
Not even ‘fore the blood dry
This here wood fired man o’ ash and coal
Strum them strangs
And sounds man aint neva know poured out
The tears o’ the devil
They say that strange fruit jump down
from the tree, and move like
Like this man plucked Gawd’s breath outta that
Gitar
man look around for the stranga
But he was gone
Nuthin but the smell o’ sulfur and burnin’ flesh
Left behind
And a note that say
“See ya’ in 27 years my boy”
So he was born
Black man sho’ nuff like no other
And ever act to come there afta’
Would know the name
O’ Robert Johnson
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
nipping at my tar heels: a blog by drew everyday
yes, i am a tar heel. yes it feels good. yes i hate waking up in the morning. yes i love this class. yes i will make an 'A'. yes yes yes.
with that said, i return mid-may to make a proclamation: i am clean, educated, in pursuit of happiness, and hoping for the best. by hoping of course i mean that i am actively working toward my goals. I've made a few life decisions in the time since our last encounter. for one I'm celibate. women are but a distraction to me, and i need to be focused on the mission, not my urges. ah, who am i kidding? the real reason for my celibacy is the negative results of the "exam". no more chances for the man of every hour, no sir. from this point forward we only philander with companions, savvy? i also decided that i was to continue with my education by any means necessary, even if it meant obtaining bachelors degree number two pre-law school entry. my folks don't think it's a good idea, but i'm not exactly anxious to jump right into a situation i'm not mentally ready for (post grad) or that's not economically ready for me (the, well, economy... or the job market). anywho, what else? what. else?
oh yeah, i'm leaving me humble abode as soon as my situation allows for me to do so. not that i've fallen out of love with the place itself, no. but i can't deal with the arrangement. i didn't sign up to live in a group home, and that's what the place is becoming. one my current roommate lets his friends run rough-shod over the place with no regard for anyone else that lives there, not to mention that he has no respect for people who don't live by his neanderthalic creed. he's moving out (good riddens). but now i learn that apparently i'm supposed to be getting some new kid as a roommate today. who, you ask? i don't know. neither does my landlord. i'm done. i had enough trouble trusting his judgement on letting his kinfolk move in which was a disaster (remember the "good riddens" guy?). i mean the kid doesn't even respect the landlord! and now i'm supposed to trust that this random guy who he doesn't even know is going to be a good roommate? hell fuckin no. i'm leaving ASAP. ASAP! ok, anything else new?
nope, alright bitches, I'm done for now. until next time, holler!
with that said, i return mid-may to make a proclamation: i am clean, educated, in pursuit of happiness, and hoping for the best. by hoping of course i mean that i am actively working toward my goals. I've made a few life decisions in the time since our last encounter. for one I'm celibate. women are but a distraction to me, and i need to be focused on the mission, not my urges. ah, who am i kidding? the real reason for my celibacy is the negative results of the "exam". no more chances for the man of every hour, no sir. from this point forward we only philander with companions, savvy? i also decided that i was to continue with my education by any means necessary, even if it meant obtaining bachelors degree number two pre-law school entry. my folks don't think it's a good idea, but i'm not exactly anxious to jump right into a situation i'm not mentally ready for (post grad) or that's not economically ready for me (the, well, economy... or the job market). anywho, what else? what. else?
oh yeah, i'm leaving me humble abode as soon as my situation allows for me to do so. not that i've fallen out of love with the place itself, no. but i can't deal with the arrangement. i didn't sign up to live in a group home, and that's what the place is becoming. one my current roommate lets his friends run rough-shod over the place with no regard for anyone else that lives there, not to mention that he has no respect for people who don't live by his neanderthalic creed. he's moving out (good riddens). but now i learn that apparently i'm supposed to be getting some new kid as a roommate today. who, you ask? i don't know. neither does my landlord. i'm done. i had enough trouble trusting his judgement on letting his kinfolk move in which was a disaster (remember the "good riddens" guy?). i mean the kid doesn't even respect the landlord! and now i'm supposed to trust that this random guy who he doesn't even know is going to be a good roommate? hell fuckin no. i'm leaving ASAP. ASAP! ok, anything else new?
nope, alright bitches, I'm done for now. until next time, holler!
Monday, April 6, 2009
the madness of march
i took march off for a reason. it was my birth month, so to speak. it was, a march when i first donned the mask, you see. at any rate, it's the month i choose to recognize, so i keep it sacred and work free. i jest. i was "born" in march, but the reason i didn't post in march is because i really had nothing worth sharing. i was off on an adventure that turned out to be fruitless, but never you mind that. here is the update:
0- i completed the legend of Zelda
0- i discovered a new found talent for baking
0- i reaffirmed my hatred for politics
0- i watched cable
that was my march. oh yeah i almost forgot:
0- i got "born"
so with all this said, oh faithful followers, i return humbly to maintain the order of your net days. i will continue to follow the mission that i set forth in my initial post. and i will always continue to be your dark warrior.
big day tomorrow....
0- i completed the legend of Zelda
0- i discovered a new found talent for baking
0- i reaffirmed my hatred for politics
0- i watched cable
that was my march. oh yeah i almost forgot:
0- i got "born"
so with all this said, oh faithful followers, i return humbly to maintain the order of your net days. i will continue to follow the mission that i set forth in my initial post. and i will always continue to be your dark warrior.
big day tomorrow....
Friday, April 3, 2009
DARKstradamus
dont believe me? read this blog in which i predicted Obama's election almost exactly 2 years before the fact, back when i was still an Edwards guy (yikes):
http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=24550090&blogId=193609273
BAM BITCHES! lets see if i can make lightning strike twice.... uhhhh.... KEITH OLBERMANN WILL EAT BILL O'REILLY'S HEAD THROUGH A STRAW AT THE CONCLUSION OF THE GREAT CABLE WAR! RACHEL MADDOW DEFEATS ANN COULTURE AT THE BATTLE OF BRISTOL! AMY HOLMES AND WOLF BLITZER WILL HOLD LIVE COVERAGE! GEORGE W. BUSH ANNOUNCES HIS CANDIDACY FOR PRESIDENT OF SPACE! USE (UNITED STATES OF EUROPE) BEATS USA 189-188 IN THE GOLD METAL GAME FOR BASKETBALL AT THE 2020 OLYMPICS! OSAMA BIN LADEN STILL AT LARGE! PRESIDENT SHWARZENAGER LOSES HIS BID FOR REELECTION TO WILL SMITH AND HIS RUNNING MATE BEN AFFLECK! WHEN ASKED HOW HE FELT ABOUT HIS LOSS, THE FORMER PRESIDENT WILL RESPOND "AGJAEHAGCUEOEJBDOUO, I'LL BE BACK"! and finally, PROFESSOR PLUM, IN THE ATTIC, WITH THE CANDLE STICK! DARKstradamos has spoken...
http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=24550090&blogId=193609273
BAM BITCHES! lets see if i can make lightning strike twice.... uhhhh.... KEITH OLBERMANN WILL EAT BILL O'REILLY'S HEAD THROUGH A STRAW AT THE CONCLUSION OF THE GREAT CABLE WAR! RACHEL MADDOW DEFEATS ANN COULTURE AT THE BATTLE OF BRISTOL! AMY HOLMES AND WOLF BLITZER WILL HOLD LIVE COVERAGE! GEORGE W. BUSH ANNOUNCES HIS CANDIDACY FOR PRESIDENT OF SPACE! USE (UNITED STATES OF EUROPE) BEATS USA 189-188 IN THE GOLD METAL GAME FOR BASKETBALL AT THE 2020 OLYMPICS! OSAMA BIN LADEN STILL AT LARGE! PRESIDENT SHWARZENAGER LOSES HIS BID FOR REELECTION TO WILL SMITH AND HIS RUNNING MATE BEN AFFLECK! WHEN ASKED HOW HE FELT ABOUT HIS LOSS, THE FORMER PRESIDENT WILL RESPOND "AGJAEHAGCUEOEJBDOUO, I'LL BE BACK"! and finally, PROFESSOR PLUM, IN THE ATTIC, WITH THE CANDLE STICK! DARKstradamos has spoken...
Friday, February 20, 2009
guest: drew everyday
i was going through some files on my associate, drew everyday, and i noticed a rhyme that i hadn't previously. well, loyal followers, i thought it only right to let you see it. decide for yourselves what this means:
i touched the sky like lupe and kanye
never been chi
never been aligned with anyone but caroline
that in mind remember im never on time
my mind state is that of an all time late
i cross states like I 8-5 and 6 got scared and ran away
lost it, got exhausted like your car bakfired and the fumes is costic
got sick of it and threw up the nausea to my niggas
cold shouldered it till florida could feel the shivers
it returned the quiver like an archer
till i was forced to scribble like an author
my sorrows to my frats and my sorors
my heart was full of darkness
bare witness to the horrors
trained it all away like the marta
what once was madness has now become sparta
now it's dictionary status like encarta
so i could raise the game like a father
control your style, and like a barber
i got the cuts that you dont want a part of
i been here from the tip off like a starter
then i took a little rest like a comma
brought the fruit of the earth like a farmer
did i make a good move you be the judge like your honor
wax judgemental i wane like tha carter
the whole world is my parlor
sky, sea, land, flora, fauna
makes me a leader not a sing-alonger
oh, for the key notes like obama
and i hit em for a reason like your mama
to drill the point home like an auger
even if it fell on deaf ears they'd hear ya holler
comma
i touched the sky like lupe and kanye
never been chi
never been aligned with anyone but caroline
that in mind remember im never on time
my mind state is that of an all time late
i cross states like I 8-5 and 6 got scared and ran away
lost it, got exhausted like your car bakfired and the fumes is costic
got sick of it and threw up the nausea to my niggas
cold shouldered it till florida could feel the shivers
it returned the quiver like an archer
till i was forced to scribble like an author
my sorrows to my frats and my sorors
my heart was full of darkness
bare witness to the horrors
trained it all away like the marta
what once was madness has now become sparta
now it's dictionary status like encarta
so i could raise the game like a father
control your style, and like a barber
i got the cuts that you dont want a part of
i been here from the tip off like a starter
then i took a little rest like a comma
brought the fruit of the earth like a farmer
did i make a good move you be the judge like your honor
wax judgemental i wane like tha carter
the whole world is my parlor
sky, sea, land, flora, fauna
makes me a leader not a sing-alonger
oh, for the key notes like obama
and i hit em for a reason like your mama
to drill the point home like an auger
even if it fell on deaf ears they'd hear ya holler
comma
Friday, February 6, 2009
next lifetime (by HIM)
i hate this part.
i hate it.
but it seems to be an inevitablility at this point. i have become the guy in erykah badu's song "next lifetime". you know, the guy who falls for this awesome girl only to have his hopes dashed because she's involved? that's me right now.it's. she's my badu. i think. well the thing is after i made an ass outta myself like three times by trying the whole, "lets just tell her how i feel thing" and subsequently being informed that she also has feelings for me but cant do anythng because of her involvement... i hear that song in a whole new light. this is a first for me ya know? being that guy and everything. now she has more to say to me and all i can do is sit here like an asshole again and wonder whats in store this time. oh well, i guess i see her next lifetime...
i hate it.
but it seems to be an inevitablility at this point. i have become the guy in erykah badu's song "next lifetime". you know, the guy who falls for this awesome girl only to have his hopes dashed because she's involved? that's me right now.it's. she's my badu. i think. well the thing is after i made an ass outta myself like three times by trying the whole, "lets just tell her how i feel thing" and subsequently being informed that she also has feelings for me but cant do anythng because of her involvement... i hear that song in a whole new light. this is a first for me ya know? being that guy and everything. now she has more to say to me and all i can do is sit here like an asshole again and wonder whats in store this time. oh well, i guess i see her next lifetime...
Thursday, February 5, 2009
i have researched this drew everyday fellow
i have been looking into this guy, drew everyday. he seems to be on the up and up, but as you will see from this list of twenty-five things that i have discovered about him, he raises a number of questions.
1. Drew's cooler than you. deal with it. (he's certainly sure of himself)
2. Drew's better than moultrie. he knows why (moultrie. why does that sound familiar?)
3. never try and fuck with drew. especially not on crenshaw (refers the masacre on crenshaw. ive heard tales of the incident)
4. chuck norris wears drew pajamas to bed. so does superman (for the record there was only circumstantial evidence in regards to this)
5. there is no chin under drews beard. just another drew. (yet to be seen)
6. when us troops pulled sadam out of the hole he wasn't worried about the US invasion. he was hiding because he tried to fuck with drew (his last words were "i never should've fucked with drew". that is on record)
7. the constitution gives us the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of drew. (this cant be true)
8. cleanliness is next to drewliness (he does maintain a certain level of hygene)
9. drew once went diamond... in the streets (no official record of this)
10. the only thing we have to fear is drew itself (i believe he said this in an interview)
11. man cannot live by bread alone. he must also not ever fuck with drew (if the crenshaw reports are true, this may be more prudent than i originally suspected)
12. in the year of our lord 1987, God said "let there be drew" and it was so (his birth year)
13. it is a law of physics that two drew's cannot occupy the same space at the same time. the results could be catastrophic (also true for people named sven and angus)
14. the five greatest rappers of all time? drew, drew... drew, drew, and drew (debatable)
15. drew shot the deputy (official reports named no suspect)
16. drew once caught a bullet with his bare hands. the bullet and the gun subsequently apologized for their transgression before growing legs and running back to the manufacturer to hide. (there were witnesses to this unlikely event)
17. there are only three definites in this life: death, taxes, and drew (there have been close to two billion drew sightings)
18. drew is the cure for the common cold (not a scientific fact)
19. there were once 8 days in the week: monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday friday, saturday, sunday, and moonday. moonday tried to fuck with drew. there are now 7 days in a week. (i checked and there was an 8 day week at one point. no mention of thename of the day or the circumstances that led to the revision to 7)
20. drew once performed open heart surgery and delivered a baby at the same time. on the same woman. (i was there)
21. rome was built in a week. it took nine months to make drew. (it takes nine months to make everyone)
22. drew is the walrus. coo-coo-kachoo (investigation in progress)
23. drew once kicked an 80 yard field goal in finger football (he is unusually gifted at finger football)
24. if at first you dont succeed, you're not drew. (i cant say ive seen him fail at much. i cant say ive seen him do much to fail at)
25. drew= mc² (this is a scientific fact)
1. Drew's cooler than you. deal with it. (he's certainly sure of himself)
2. Drew's better than moultrie. he knows why (moultrie. why does that sound familiar?)
3. never try and fuck with drew. especially not on crenshaw (refers the masacre on crenshaw. ive heard tales of the incident)
4. chuck norris wears drew pajamas to bed. so does superman (for the record there was only circumstantial evidence in regards to this)
5. there is no chin under drews beard. just another drew. (yet to be seen)
6. when us troops pulled sadam out of the hole he wasn't worried about the US invasion. he was hiding because he tried to fuck with drew (his last words were "i never should've fucked with drew". that is on record)
7. the constitution gives us the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of drew. (this cant be true)
8. cleanliness is next to drewliness (he does maintain a certain level of hygene)
9. drew once went diamond... in the streets (no official record of this)
10. the only thing we have to fear is drew itself (i believe he said this in an interview)
11. man cannot live by bread alone. he must also not ever fuck with drew (if the crenshaw reports are true, this may be more prudent than i originally suspected)
12. in the year of our lord 1987, God said "let there be drew" and it was so (his birth year)
13. it is a law of physics that two drew's cannot occupy the same space at the same time. the results could be catastrophic (also true for people named sven and angus)
14. the five greatest rappers of all time? drew, drew... drew, drew, and drew (debatable)
15. drew shot the deputy (official reports named no suspect)
16. drew once caught a bullet with his bare hands. the bullet and the gun subsequently apologized for their transgression before growing legs and running back to the manufacturer to hide. (there were witnesses to this unlikely event)
17. there are only three definites in this life: death, taxes, and drew (there have been close to two billion drew sightings)
18. drew is the cure for the common cold (not a scientific fact)
19. there were once 8 days in the week: monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday friday, saturday, sunday, and moonday. moonday tried to fuck with drew. there are now 7 days in a week. (i checked and there was an 8 day week at one point. no mention of thename of the day or the circumstances that led to the revision to 7)
20. drew once performed open heart surgery and delivered a baby at the same time. on the same woman. (i was there)
21. rome was built in a week. it took nine months to make drew. (it takes nine months to make everyone)
22. drew is the walrus. coo-coo-kachoo (investigation in progress)
23. drew once kicked an 80 yard field goal in finger football (he is unusually gifted at finger football)
24. if at first you dont succeed, you're not drew. (i cant say ive seen him fail at much. i cant say ive seen him do much to fail at)
25. drew= mc² (this is a scientific fact)
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
guest: HIM
by him i mean the one who created me. the one who gave me the tools to become your dark warrior. today this man confided in me. i asked if i could share with you what he shared with me. he said yes. so i now present this mans words to you:
nanerpus makes me laugh. a laugh really feels good right now. i needed a good one.
well, i have mixed feelings about the events that have transpired over the past 24 hours. there's been some good and some bad. some strange. some expected. some out of nowhere, left fieldsy stuff. lets explain.
BAD: i hurt someone i care about. i told them that i had feelings for someone else (which is true) and that i had feelings for them (also true, but different. i'll explain now) it's not that i dont have feelings, it's just that those feelings arent romantic. for the person i hurt, that is. i care about her feelings and dont want to hurt them, or anyone to hurt them for that matter. but im not in to her in that way, despite what we've done (nothing was planned, it kinda just happened). and i feel terrible because i knew she was going to become emotionally entangled and i knew it would hurt when i told her what was going on with me. and it did. and that is something that im going to regret.
GOOD: the girl who i have feelings for (romantic ones) finally decided to come clean about her feelings for me (she wants me!!!!!!! she really does!!!!!!!!) she even wrote me a two page letter! that makes me feel like all this bs i've been trudging through, a sum of it of my own making, is worth it if we wind up together. i really want this thing to work out. i mean you dont even know how badly i want this to work.
BAD: we both have loose ends to tie up. she's in a relationship and i'm, well, not in one, but you guys know the situ of which i speak.
GOOD: the weight has been lifted
BAD: i just found out i may have to wait untill the summer to walk. yep. turns out there were two classes (non-major, mind you) that i missed, and i may not have any other courses that can be massaged into place as replacements.
GOOD: the pressures gone. now i can go on with the rest of the semester, chill up here for the summer, walk and still be on schedule (the one i made for myself [someones law school by 2010 fall]). mama wont like it, but in the end it may be best. it means i get to see some things through that i may not have bee able to before. it also means that i wont be sitting in charlotte or durham with no gig and nothing to do for those summer months. and who knows, mybe penny and busko can work a little magic and make something outta nothing. we'll see. i;ve got this strange since of optimism that wasnt there a week ago when no one was mad at me, i thought i had lost all chances with the girl, and graduation loomed like a dark omen staring through me. i feel like i'm ready for it. ready to meet the world head on, instead standing there like a man in front of a firing squad just waiting for the first bullet to hit.
in conclusion, life is hitting me at nationwide speed, but it's better it happens now while i can deal with it than it happen later when it might cost me more than a relationship and a semester. ces't la vie. bitches.
nanerpus makes me laugh. a laugh really feels good right now. i needed a good one.
well, i have mixed feelings about the events that have transpired over the past 24 hours. there's been some good and some bad. some strange. some expected. some out of nowhere, left fieldsy stuff. lets explain.
BAD: i hurt someone i care about. i told them that i had feelings for someone else (which is true) and that i had feelings for them (also true, but different. i'll explain now) it's not that i dont have feelings, it's just that those feelings arent romantic. for the person i hurt, that is. i care about her feelings and dont want to hurt them, or anyone to hurt them for that matter. but im not in to her in that way, despite what we've done (nothing was planned, it kinda just happened). and i feel terrible because i knew she was going to become emotionally entangled and i knew it would hurt when i told her what was going on with me. and it did. and that is something that im going to regret.
GOOD: the girl who i have feelings for (romantic ones) finally decided to come clean about her feelings for me (she wants me!!!!!!! she really does!!!!!!!!) she even wrote me a two page letter! that makes me feel like all this bs i've been trudging through, a sum of it of my own making, is worth it if we wind up together. i really want this thing to work out. i mean you dont even know how badly i want this to work.
BAD: we both have loose ends to tie up. she's in a relationship and i'm, well, not in one, but you guys know the situ of which i speak.
GOOD: the weight has been lifted
BAD: i just found out i may have to wait untill the summer to walk. yep. turns out there were two classes (non-major, mind you) that i missed, and i may not have any other courses that can be massaged into place as replacements.
GOOD: the pressures gone. now i can go on with the rest of the semester, chill up here for the summer, walk and still be on schedule (the one i made for myself [someones law school by 2010 fall]). mama wont like it, but in the end it may be best. it means i get to see some things through that i may not have bee able to before. it also means that i wont be sitting in charlotte or durham with no gig and nothing to do for those summer months. and who knows, mybe penny and busko can work a little magic and make something outta nothing. we'll see. i;ve got this strange since of optimism that wasnt there a week ago when no one was mad at me, i thought i had lost all chances with the girl, and graduation loomed like a dark omen staring through me. i feel like i'm ready for it. ready to meet the world head on, instead standing there like a man in front of a firing squad just waiting for the first bullet to hit.
in conclusion, life is hitting me at nationwide speed, but it's better it happens now while i can deal with it than it happen later when it might cost me more than a relationship and a semester. ces't la vie. bitches.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
guest: drew everyday
the following blog comes from my "associate" drew everyday. i believe you were introduced in an earlier post of mine. he has something to get off his chest, so i have relinquished my forum to him, for the moment...
did you guys see that new smith movie? you know how he had that empty ass forced smile for most of it? guess what?
so do i now.
ive been noticing it for sometime now. that im not really, iunno, happy is how i would call it i guess. like i smile and there's nothing behind it but... emptiness. its starting to effect the way i relate to my friends and everything. like, i'm almost bitchy. me. thats not me. not at all. im the guy that brings life to every room. i'm not the guy standing alone in the cold, reflecting on everything he hasn't done. everything he should've done. things he doesn't want to, but has to, face. i'm starting to feel inadequate. i dont like it. after everything i've done for my own self actualization, it's a real downer, this feeling. it makes me wonder what i've done all this for, all this reevaluation of self. it's not her. no, i had a feeling that i was kidding myself awhile ago, so i wasn't shocked, or even dejected, when my intuition was affirmed. it kinda sucks that she knows i'm in it for her and all i know is she doesn't "crush". it just leaves more questions. i'll be damned if i stick around waiting for the answers while she looks to the past for her own. then there's this pending graduation.... i won't really get into it, but i wish i had longer to be, just be me, and not adult me, ya know? neway. ok im done, peace.
did you guys see that new smith movie? you know how he had that empty ass forced smile for most of it? guess what?
so do i now.
ive been noticing it for sometime now. that im not really, iunno, happy is how i would call it i guess. like i smile and there's nothing behind it but... emptiness. its starting to effect the way i relate to my friends and everything. like, i'm almost bitchy. me. thats not me. not at all. im the guy that brings life to every room. i'm not the guy standing alone in the cold, reflecting on everything he hasn't done. everything he should've done. things he doesn't want to, but has to, face. i'm starting to feel inadequate. i dont like it. after everything i've done for my own self actualization, it's a real downer, this feeling. it makes me wonder what i've done all this for, all this reevaluation of self. it's not her. no, i had a feeling that i was kidding myself awhile ago, so i wasn't shocked, or even dejected, when my intuition was affirmed. it kinda sucks that she knows i'm in it for her and all i know is she doesn't "crush". it just leaves more questions. i'll be damned if i stick around waiting for the answers while she looks to the past for her own. then there's this pending graduation.... i won't really get into it, but i wish i had longer to be, just be me, and not adult me, ya know? neway. ok im done, peace.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
introduction
my name is DARK. i am a student, and a damn good one at that. beyond that you need not know much about me. there really isnt much TO know about me. i guess you could say im a shadow of society created by the very system designed to eradicate guys like me. that's fine. i like the way i am. im... at peace. well, if i'm going to tell my story i might as well start at the beginning. i guess i was born sometime. i likely had a childhood, too. people tend to do that before they grow up. or mature. or whatever. the point is i'm a regular guy, just like you are, or at least i was at one point (people tell me i'm, strange, these days, but if you ask me these people dont have a fuckin clue what strange is. to me it's strange to accept your fate without fighting to make it what you want it to be, but "normal" people do that all the time). i dont feel much different than i did then, whenever that then is. i never was one for material things. but people used to accept me for who i am. now all they do is judge me. maybe it's the mask....
i should tell you that i wear a mask now. it could have been from my childhood, like superman's suit. i certainly feel powerful with it on. but it was the sun that powered the man of steel, not the suit... anyway, i might have gotten the mask from a second hand store. it's sorta like one of those lucha libre masks mexican wrestlers wear, or one of those japan wrestling masks. it's black and purple with silver piping and the eyes are whited out, giving it this comic book feel. it doesn't cover my whole face, just my eyes, ears, and nose. it ties in the back like a boot and the top of my head sticks out, like cyclops. thats my story. im a man with mask, i might have been, but i most certainly am now.
ah, but i know what you're wondering. why am i here? what do i want? well, truth be told, i cant tell you. not yet. what i can do is tell you where i stand. wat i think. how it is. of this much i am certain.
ps, i recently crossed paths with a fellow named Drew Everyday. i dont know how i feel about this guy. he's a little brash, but he seems like he's on the up and up. he won't leave me alone (i just want to be left alone) i dont know. that's fine with me though, the closer he is to me the better for me to keep an eye on him...
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)